


You Came Back

by RumbleFish14



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Smut, Gallavich, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-07-11 18:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 47,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19932187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RumbleFish14/pseuds/RumbleFish14
Summary: Ian left after Mickey's wedding, to the Army. Now Ian is back and hasn't had contact with Mickey for 19 months.





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> Random one-shot but it wouldn't shut up until I wrote it lol. Not to mention I liked this ending a little better than what Shameless left us with, sorry not sorry...hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

You Came Back  
Chapter 1- Homecoming

The Milkovich house was dark, quiet and at 3 in the morning, it almost felt safe. Almost. 

Ian stood outside the door and took note of a few things before going inside. The fence was fixed, no longer crooked or missing pieces. The old couch had been moved, along with the empty beer bottles and trash scattered around. The grass was green, instead of brown. The shutters on the windows hung straight, freshly painted. 

The make over was noticeable, even in the dark. The smell had long since vanished, leaving the smell of fresh flowers potted on the steps. The door didn’t have any holes from beating fists, or scratches around the lock when one of them forgot a key and had to bust in. There was a welcome home mat in front of the door. 

It felt good. Clean. Homey. 

Ian stepped up to the door and didn’t knock. The key in the palm of his hand might still work, the one he took from Svetlana. Or the locks might have been changed. Only one way to find out.

Surprisingly, the key worked, and Ian quietly stepped inside. It was just as clean as the outside. No trash or broken furniture, it even had new furniture. Framed artwork that could only be Mickey’s, hung at random intervals on the walls. 

Ian grinned when he saw a collage of sketches of himself. Nothing too extreme, just a few of him sleeping, smiling or smoking. One of him as he danced at the club. He never expected Mickey to draw those.

A closer look showed him the date, two years ago. Mickey had kept those hidden from him, from the entire world. The thought made Ian incredibly emotional, not knowing if he should smile or cry.

The doors to all the rooms were intact, fresh paint and new carpet. The kitchen was spotless with no signs the whores from the bar still lived there, or Terry for that matter. No piles of cash and overflowing ashtrays on the table.

Ian was surprised at Mickey’s door. No longer did it have those crude words written in sharpie on a piece of old cardboard. It was plain and the doorknob was unlocked as Ian turned it.

Maybe the room was just as impeccable as the rest of the house, or maybe it was the same as when he’d left over a year ago. Ian didn’t notice. The only thing he noticed was Mickey asleep in that bed. Looking just as beautiful as Ian remembered.

“Mickey.” He breathed out his name in a soft whisper. 

His ex-boyfriend laid on his right side. His soft dark hair was fanned out on the white pillowcase while the sheet was laying across his ribs. Ian could see the line under the sheet from his briefs, so he knew he wasn’t naked. In his sleep, he looked calm, fragile. Sweet even.

Unable to look away, Ian made as little noise as possible as he kicked off his shoes, his jeans and the tank top he wore until he stood at the door in only his boxers. Mickey hadn’t moved or made a sound, just the rise and fall of his body as he breathed deeply.

It had been more than a year since he left, just after Mickey’s wedding. He could no longer be around knowing he would have to share with her. Maybe not sharing Mickey’s body or his bed, definitely not his love, but he would have to share with her regardless and it was too much. 

The military wanted him, or they wanted him as Lip, over 18. He’d taken his ID, enlisted and stopped to say goodbye. Mickey tried to make light of his marriage, to joke about it all. Tried to convince him nothing would change, but the second he walked into that bedroom, some of the posters were missing because she made him take them down. 

“Don’t.” 

The only word Mickey had used to ask him to stay. All he had to say was ‘don’t go’ and Ian would have stayed. Mickey hadn’t, so he didn’t. He left without so much as a kiss goodbye, no hugs or promises to wait for each other or write. 

They hadn’t had contact in 19 months. Ian assumed Mickey had forgotten about him. And he’d done his best to forget Mickey. His attempts hadn’t worked. He hadn’t fucked his way through the endless soldiers like he planned, he just couldn’t be with anyone else anymore. 

Mickey was it for him.

Now, seeing Mickey asleep in that bed, the same, yet different, Ian was grateful for that. For not using others to forget him. 

He slowly moved to the end of the bed and it only dipped a little as he climbed on, each knee on one side of Mickey’s legs. Slowly crawling up the bed, making sure not to touch him just yet, but it was killing him not to, he moved up.

There had been no phone call saying he was coming home. He wasn’t sure anyone cared anyway. Ian’s first stop had been dumping his bags at home, just to get to Mickey’s. Even with not knowing what to expect or if he was welcome.

Ian was hovering over him now, arms spread wide on either side and he was so fucking beautiful it hurt to look. “Mickey.” He whispered as he softly pressed his lips against Mickey’s upper arm, nearly groaning at how soft he was. 

Mickey started to shift, turning a little on his back as blue eyes slowly blinked back the sleep and the dreams. Those beautiful eyes looked up, focusing on him and welled with tears instantly.

“Ian.” Mickey cried, voice thick with sleep and overwhelming emotion. 

Ian leaned down and pressed their lips together as the first tear slipped down Mickey’s cheek. He pulled back and Mickey turned to his back, looking up at him. 

“You came back.” Mickey whispered as his hands moved up to slide into Ian’s hair.

Normally rough hands were now soft as they touched him. Ian felt it all the way down to his toes. When Mickey’s legs split, Ian settled between them with nothing more on his mind then being home again.

Ian cupped the side of his face, stroking his cheek with his thumb and bent down again to give him another soft kiss. “I came for you.”

Another tear fell, then another until Mickey was silently crying. Ian kissed him again, filled with so much relief when Mickey’s other hand moved to his side, keeping him close.

Something was different and it went deeper then the state of the house. Mickey was different now. Willingly kissing him so tenderly, crying without fear of being weak. Total acceptance. 

“I missed you so much.” Mickey whispered when Ian pulled back.

Ian moved Mickey’s right hand off his side and pressed it palm up against the bed, then linked it with his own, keeping it there. “I missed you too Mick.” Ian returned the sentiment and felt Mickey’s fingers tighten in his hair as he pulled him down for another kiss.

It was deeper, so much more than a soft press of lips. Mickey’s thumb spanned his jaw, pressing against the hinge for him to open his mouth. Ian went with it, groaning when Mickey’s tongue playfully slid along his lips.

“I never thought I’d see you again.” Mickey whispered quickly before lightly sucking on Ian’s bottom lip.

Their goodbye had been twisted and mangled, it had been a nightmare. So much left unsaid. Maybe they hadn’t been ready for that kind of love then, but they were now. Ian could feel it. He knew Mickey could feel it too.

Ian’s other hand moved off the bed and lightly gripped Mickey’s arm. It slid down to his side, over the dips of his ribs and all that soft skin, then around to the small of his back. Mickey arched against it, gripping his head tighter.

“You were all I wanted Mickey,” Ian spoke right against his lips, tasting the tears as they slowly kept falling. “I couldn’t stay away anymore.”

“I love you.” Mickey let the words slip freely, easily, as he looked up. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it before. I felt it, the whole time.”

The swell of his heart was almost too much. It hurt. Spider webs of pain cascaded through his entire body followed by the sweetest relief. His eyes blurred now, making Mickey’s face shift as he blinked passed it.

“I love you too.” Ian whispered before they kissed again. The hand that settled on Mickey's lower back moved up the same path so he could grip Mickey’s other hand and lay it flat against the bed, linking it as he did the other one.

He pulled away from Mickey’s lips. They shared a look, one of regret and relief, one of love before Ian kissed over his jaw to his ear. He lightly sucked on it, hearing what used to be cries of sadness turn into cries of pleasure. 

Soft skin became damp under his lips as he kissed his way across Mickey’s neck. Their linked hands squeezed tightly; Ian was making sure Mickey didn’t move just yet. He wanted to take his time with this. 

“Please tell me this is real.” Mickey begged and dug his head back against the pillow as his body eagerly responded to Ian’s mouth.

Ian glanced up, kissing just above his left nipple. “It’s real baby, I’m here.” He spoke against his skin and sucked that nipple into his mouth. Mickey arched again, trying to free his hands. 

“Let me touch you.” Mickey begged as he looked down. 

Ian kept his gaze when he kissed his way to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment. Licking it and sucking it until it hardened, and Mickey gasped.

Mickey was hard under him, pressed against his belly. Ian noticed instantly but made no move to stimulate it right now. Not even when his own was just as hard, pressing into the sheets between Mickey’s legs. But it was getting harder to ignore. Especially when Mickey spoke.

Giving in, Ian released Mickey left hand from his own and noted that he no longer wore the wedding band. There wasn’t so much as a tan line or indentation of it being there.

“I took it off the day you left.” Mickey offered an explanation when he saw Ian looking at it. “I fucked up that day, more than any other time.”

His newly freed hand moved up to stoke Mickey’s cheek, then his neck, onto his chest where it rested above his heart. “Baby,” Ian spoke, surprised when his voice cracked. “We both fucked up, we handled it badly. But we have now to fix it.” Ian kissed over his side, lightly sucking his skin between his teeth before he released it. “We have a second chance.”

With a smile, Mickey threaded his fingers into Ian’s hair, scratching his scalp lightly before pulling. “A second chance.” He repeated and lightly pushed Ian’s mouth against his skin.

Ian eagerly kept moving, kissing up his ribs while one hand explored the muscles of his chest. He kissed down the center of his body, using the soft gasps to fuel him. Down, licking from hip to hip, then down the thin line of his happy trail.

Their linked hands slid apart and Ian wound it under Mickey’s body, wrapped around his lower back to keep him close. Ian watched as Mickey’s other hand moved with his across his chest, fingers sliding together before parting. Mickey rubbed over his nipple, groaning and arching at the sensitivity of it all.

“Oh, Mickey,” Ian pushed his hips into the bed as he groaned. Watching him touch his nipples had to be the hottest thing he’d ever seen. “You are so perfect.”

“Come up here,” Mickey tilted his head as Ian tongued the band of his underwear. “I want to feel you.”

Ian moaned again but stayed where he was. With a rough tug, he jerked the sheet away, exposing Mickey’s lower half. Thick thighs spread wide and it took all of his will power not to go right to them and lather them with attention.

“Not yet Mick,” his hands slid down Mickey’s writhing body until he gripped his hips. “I want something else.” He held Mickey’s eyes before he looked down to his groin. 

Mickey groaned but nodded and balled a pillow up and stuffed it behind his back to prop him up. One hand still remained in Ian’s hair, not guiding him but keeping contact while the other slowly moved up his body.

The moment Ian nuzzled against his groin; Mickey was lost to it. Ian kept his eyes up as he rubbed along Mickey’s cock with his cheek, then his chin. Blue eyes rolled back as he bit into that plump bottom lip. Hands kept to Mickey’s hips, then the sides of his ass as he kissed at him through the thin material of his briefs.

Mickey moaned, unable to keep quiet even by biting his lip. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“Yeah?” Ian mumbled hotly against him and Mickey’s legs shook and wrapped around his stomach. His hands stroked over him, gripping him as he mouthed at the head, denying both of them the longer he kept it up.

“God yes,” Mickey moaned. His body was working up a sweat, eager to feel him anyway he could. “Keep going.”

Dipping his fingers into the band, Ian slowly pulled his briefs down, wiggling them from side to side as Mickey rocked back and forth to help. Ian let them rest on his thighs, unwilling to move an inch now that Mickey’s cock was freed, bobbing towards his mouth. 

“Nice and hard for me.” Ian whispered without looking away. It caused Mickey to groan and the tip leaked out a drop of pre-come. 

Mickey touched his jaw softly, making Ian look up. “Please Ian.”

Running his lips slowly up the side, had Ian groaning. Working his way to the tip. Mickey’s cock was rubbing across his slick lips, then his tongue snaked out to lick away the wetness before his hand stood him up and he slowly lowered onto him.

“Oh fuck,” Mickey sat up on his elbows, noticing the damp sheets under him. 

Ian didn’t stop until his nose was nestled in Mickey’s pubic hair and his throat constricted around him. He pulled back slowly, swirling his tongue across the thick vein under his cock. He lollipopped the head, watching the way Mickey closed his eyes.

“Feel good?” Ian asked as he pulled back to jerk him, using his spit to ease the slide.

Mickey nodded; eyes open again. “You always know how I like it.”

At that, his hips swiveled into the bed, adding just enough friction to make him needy for it. Ian groaned as he stopped stroking him and lightly slapped his tongue with Mickey’s cock; another thing he liked. 

“Yeah,” Mickey groaned and gripped his hair again. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”

Ian took the compliment with a smile and resumed stroking and he licked down his length and easily sucked his balls. Getting them nice and wet. Just making sure Mickey enjoyed this was enough to make him come and he had to back off a little before he did.

“Get up here.” Mickey sat up, gripping Ian’s neck and pulled him up as he laid back down. 

Ian eagerly kissed him, and Mickey’s heels dug into his ass, urging him to move. They rocked together, his cock trapped by his underwear and Mickey’s steadily wetting the outside of them. 

It was clear Mickey noticed the change in his body. The newly added muscles of his back and his arms. His chest and stomach harder, more defined from months of steady exercise. Mickey groaned into the kiss as his hands moved along his body, unable to keep still.

“God Ian,” Mickey pulled out of the kiss to rest their heads together, “your body.” 

Ian held Mickey’s leg against his hip, gripping under his knee as he rocked forward. “You like it?” he asked and braced his other hand on the bed by Mickey’s head.

Mickey nodded, licking his lips. His hands moved to Ian’s chest. “So big,” he groaned, “so fucking hard.”

It was time to lose the briefs. Ian slid Mickey’s the rest of the way down his legs before he reached for his own and slid them down. Now naked, Mickey fucking whimpered when their cocks slid together. Wet and in need of attention.

“I need you.” Mickey groaned as his hand slipped between them, gripped them both in his hand and worked them together. “I gotta feel you all over me.”

“Yeah?” Ian groaned and Mickey nodded. He looked down to watch, amazed at how much he missed the way tattooed hands looked on him. “It’s been awhile for me Mick,” he warned when Mickey swirled his palm around the sensitive head of his cock, “it won’t take long.”

Mickey paused, stilling his hand. “How long?”

Ian didn’t hesitate. “19 months.” Blue eyes widened. “Down at the VFW.”

Mickey was shocked. Eyes wide, mouth parted. “You haven’t?” Ian shook his head. “Not once?” again, he shook his head.

“I only want you.” Ian kissed him, knowing that unlike him, Mickey hadn’t waited like that. It was all over his face, regret. “Don’t think about it baby. I just wanted to warn you.”

Mickey nodded, but the guilt was still there. Ian could see Mickey arguing with his choices, regretting them. He didn’t expect Mickey to wait, not even for him and knowing that he hadn’t, that Mickey still managed to take care of his most basic needs, didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.

To get them passed that feeling, Ian slid one hand down to rest over Mickey’s as he gripped them. Mickey wasn’t as hard as he was before. “Stay with me Mick,” Ian whispered as he kissed along his jaw. “Just be with me.” He moved both of their hands, jerking them off together.

It took some time to get Mickey back to full hardness. But talking to him combined with the steady stroke of their hands had him ready. Softly gasping under him. Ian never stopped kissing him, not when Mickey welcomed it eagerly.

“I haven’t…” Mickey blushed as his sentence trailed off. “I’m…” he stopped again, squirming under Ian’s gaze. “Fuck.”

Ian knew what he was trying to say. That no one had fucked him like that. That he would need to prep him. But Mickey was soft spoken about all of this still and couldn’t get the words out.

That meant, either Mickey went back to fucking chicks, or he topped whoever he was with. Somehow that lessened the discomfort he felt over the entire thing. 

“I got you Mick,” Ian kissed down his neck while he reached one hand over to the nightstand and found the bottle of lube. “Don’t worry.”

Mickey gripped his face with both of his hands and brought him to his mouth. He whispered ‘I’m sorry’ as they kissed, as he stroked the fine lines of Ian’s face. 

Ian sat back, shivering when Mickey’s hands followed, moving down his chest, then his stomach, then finally his cock. He spread Mickey’s legs up and out, getting a good look at him after so long.

“Fuck.” He groaned and nearly swayed on his knees. Mickey was perfect. Ian’s mouth watered at the sight of him. “Such a pretty hole Mick.”

Mickey turned his face to the side as he blushed. 

After sucking his thumb into his mouth, Ian watched Mickey’s face as he rubbed it against his hole. Blue eyes slowly slid closed as he hole clenched. He put the smallest amount of pressure against it and Mickey’s legs started to shake.

“You didn’t, did you?” Ian asked in awe. He was tight, so tight that his thumb had to fight to push in just a little. “No one?”

Mickey blushed harder as he shook his head. “No one, not like that.”

As he stretched up to bury his face in Mickey’s neck, he switched fingers and pressed one lubed up finger against him. He swirled it in circles to help him relax, gasp by soft gasp. 

As he pushed in, Ian groaned deeply at the crushing tightness. Ian moved back so he could look down and watch his finger disappear over and over again. “So damn tight.”

Mickey nodded, moving his hands across his body. It heightened everything, sending sparks of pleasure down to his groin. “Get me ready.”

Ian added more lube to his fingers and slowly slid another one inside. Mickey clenched, pushing down against them as he pushed them in and out. Stretching him slowly to savor every second of it. Every gasp from his parted lips, every time Mickey’s muscles tensed, as the sweat gathered along his skin, Ian drank it all down. 

“You’re beautiful.” Ian slid both fingers out to look at his hole again, slick and opening for him. 

Mickey’s touch brought him back. Just his hands on his stomach had Ian blinking quickly and looking up at his face.

“Come here.” Mickey smiled when Ian listened and moved back up. But his fingers never stopped pressing into him. “It’s my turn Gallagher.”

Ian slipped his fingers out as they kissed and he gripped Mickey tightly as he rolled to the side, switching their positions until Mickey was straddling him. He looked even better like this. 

“Your turn?” Ian asked and moved his hands up from his thighs to caress every inch of his upper body. Feeling the tight muscles as he stretched and moved. 

Mickey bent down, smiling happily when Ian’s hands moved to his ass and gripped tightly. “Yes. My turn.” 

Ian closed his eyes when Mickey started kissing his neck, licking against his ear when he reached it. His hands lightly squeezed his ass. It didn’t take long for him to fall apart from Mickey’s efforts. 19 months of no intimate contact except his own hand, had him melting. 

Sweat gathered along every inch of his skin, his legs were shaking so badly he nearly knocked one knee into Mickey’s chest when he moved lower. His breathing was labored, panting each time his lips touched another inch of skin. 

“You okay?” Mickey asked against one hip as he looked up. “Your legs are shaking.”

Ian’s chuckle got railroaded by a groan as Mickey’s teeth nipped at his hip. “Fuck, it’s been over a year Mick.” He sat up on shaky elbows to look at the way his cock slid against Mickey’s throat. “God, it’s been too long.”

That need to come increased quickly when Mickey moved down to his cock. Just rubbing his cheek along side it. Then his neck. A few strokes with his hand and Ian was about to lose it.

“You can’t Mick.” Ian whimpered when Mickey wet his lips, ready to take him down. “I want it so bad, but you can’t.”

Mickey arched an eyebrow and let the head of Ian’s cock rest against his lips as he spoke. “Why not?” The tip leaked, slowly dripping into his mouth.

“Because it’ll make me come.” Ian’s hand moved from Mickey’s hair to grip the base of his cock.

“Guess you’ll just have to fight it,” Mickey smirked as he licked over the tip and Ian’s legs tightened around his head. “Don’t come.”

“Oh my God,” Ian had to turn away when Mickey licked up the side. Then the other side, then around the leaking head, making his entire body spaz out. “Baby, please.”

“Fight it.” Mickey demanded with a grin and opened his mouth wide to take him down. He groaned at the taste and had to hold both of Ian’s thighs, so they didn’t crush his face.

“Fuck, fuuck,” Ian sat up, moving one arm back to lean against while the other gripped the back of Mickey’s head. “Let’s see if you can still take it all.” He suggested weakly when Mickey didn’t go all the way down. 

Mickey could. Easily. Ian watched Mickey’s lips open, felt his jaw pop and soon his nose was pressed against his body. His cock, squeezed tightly down the length of his throat. Ian groaned and traced his lips with his thumb, spreading the spit around so it didn’t leak down.

“Damn, that’s so sexy.” Ian praised and tightened the grip in his hair and slowly pulled him up, just to push him back down. “Fuck, that’s it.”

Mickey groaned and added his hand, stroking up his length and chased his lips. His other hand moved down, tugging at Ian’s balls, rolling them.

“Shit, shit…” Ian hissed and pulled him all the way off, panting when the need to come lessened. “Come on, I need you.” He pulled Mickey to his mouth as they kissed. He crawled up his body, rubbing his ass against his cock. “You wanna ride me?” Ian asked as he pulled back.

Mickey nodded and reached into the side table for a condom. Ian watched him as he ripped it open with his teeth, backed up a little and slowly rolled it down his length. 

Ian twitched, now a little obsessed with seeing that again. He might have to wear condoms all the time if Mickey did it that well each time. “Come here baby.” Ian laced their fingers and pulled him to his knees. 

“Let me.” Mickey unclasped their hands and reached back to give him a few strokes before he wiggled into position and aimed Ian at his hole. “My legs are gonna shake the whole fucking time.”

Ian smiled, pinching his nipples as he watched. “I love when they do that.” 

Mickey’s hands guided him inside, even sliding down the part of his cock that wasn’t in yet. Ian gripped his thighs as his head tilted back. “That’s it baby,” Ian coached as Mickey slid down a little more. “Nice and slow.”

Mickey put both hands on Ian’s stomach to brace himself. The stretch had him gasping, squirming to get all of him in. “Fuck, you’re cock feels fucking huge.” Mickey started to move, even with only half in. It helped stretch him for the rest.

“You’re just super fucking tight.” Ian put his feet on the bed and lifted his ass, shallowly pumped inside him. “Kiss me, I’ll work you open.”

Nodding, Mickey gasped the entire time as he shifted to reach Ian’s mouth. Both of his hands moved to Ian’s hair, gripping tightly when he started to move. Inch by tight inch, Ian’s cock finally bottomed out, their balls smashed together.

“Fuck,” Mickey tucked his head into Ian’s neck as he started to move. Shallow thrusts to open him up. “I missed this.”

Ian bit his lip. His hands spread Mickey’s cheeks, making it easier to move and his fingertips danced along where they connected. “Missed it too.” Ian mumbled against his jaw. Each thrust had him groaning, it had Mickey breathing hotly into his neck, over his ear. “I’ve never felt anything so good.”

Once he was open enough, Mickey moved to sit back. Ian’s hands went back to his hips, feeling his muscles shift as he rose up on his thighs and slid back down. Each time, Ian’s eyes rolled back, and he bit harshly into his lip. 

“God,” he whispered, feeling Ian slide easily into him. Their bodies made that light slapping sound, as it should when you move right. “You’re so deep.”

Ian nodded as his eyes opened. He watched Mickey’s cock slap lightly against his stomach, hard and leaking wetly against him. “You like when I’m deep?” 

Mickey nodded quickly. He pushed up until Ian’s cock nearly slipped out, then slammed back down. Pushing him even deeper. “Fuck, I love it. Never had it so deep.”

Ian growled low in his throat and sat up. He wiggled back against the headboard, so they were face to face. The angle changed and Mickey gasped sharply and held onto his arms. “How’s that?”

Mickey gasped again and his legs shook out of control. “You’re gonna need to fuck me now.” He held onto Ian’s shoulders and pressed their heads together. 

Ian smiled. “Yeah?” When Mickey gave a sharp nod, Ian pushed his legs out wide, feet flat on the bed and started to move faster. He held his cheeks, keeping him open. “Fuck.” He growled, slamming in hard, fast and deep until Mickey’s trembling body bucked with each thrust.

“Tell me you love me.” Mickey begged against his mouth as they panted harshly together. His orgasm was right there, just waiting under the surface for the right time. “Ian…”

Ian loved him more than anything else, more than anyone else in the entire fucking world. He slowed, pushing in deep but slow enough to wrap his arms around Mickey’s sweating body. One around his back and the other on the side of his neck.

“I love you Mickey.” Ian whispered as he kissed him. 

When Mickey whimpered into his mouth, Ian knew he was coming. Letting go so easily for him. As come coated their chests and Mickey gave that little whimper, Ian squeezed him tighter, working himself in just a little faster until he was coming just as hard as he knew it would be.

“Mickey!” He gasped as he kept pushing in. Mickey had moved to neck, kissing up to his jaw and let his body be used until Ian was no longer able to take the feeling. “Baby,” Ian panted and stroked over his flushed face.

Mickey did the same, mirroring Ian’s actions. Touching his flushed face, his eyebrows, his crooked chin. He really was beautiful. “I love you.”

Ian smiled just as he kissed him. “Still?”

Mickey nodded but he looked away and he didn’t smile. There was so much left unsaid, untouched. He didn’t know where to begin. Or how they tried to fix this.  
“Are you staying?”

Ian’s smile slipped. “Like the night, or for good?”

“Both.”

Ian gripped his chin and forced their eyes to meet. “I’d like to stay here tonight, if you’ll let me.”

Mickey nodded again, “You home for good?”

Ian would have liked to say yes. He would have killed to say yes. But it would taste of a lie. He was home for a bit, but he was waiting for deployment. Then he would have to go again. He didn’t know when it would happen, or where he was going, but he had no intention of leaving Mickey again. 

“For awhile I am.” Ian rubbed their noses together. “And I want to be with you the entire time.”

It had been bubbling up inside him the second he realized Ian was there with him. Yet he kept it down, waiting for the right time. Maybe now was that time. “I divorced her,” he blurted and saw Ian’s eyes widen. “Like a week after you left.”

Ian stated dumbfounded at him. Unable to explain how happy that made him. “Why? What changed?”

“Everything.” Mickey answered with a tired huff. “It never should have happened in the first place and I lost you.” 

Ian bit his lip and the tears welled in his eyes without permission. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have come back sooner.”

“I needed time. Not from you, but to accept what I did.” He gripped Ian’s hand and pushed it against his heart. “I needed time to accept what I wanted and not accept anything less.”

Ian breathed deeply when Mickey wiped his tears away. 

“I needed to figure me out, to show you that I’m serious.” He motioned to his room, to the entire house. “I got a job, a legit one.” He smiled when Ian chuckled. “Taking a few classes when I can.”

His heart was spinning out of control. Mickey wanted more. Not just with him, but more from life. For the first time, he was thinking past the instant gratification and to the future. A future with him. 

“Fuck you for making me cry,” Ian laughed when Mickey grinned. “You want that, with me?”

Mickey nodded. “We both needed to grow up a little Ian. To see what mattered the most.” He thumbed away the tear on his cheek. “Sorry it took me so long.”

Ian couldn’t help but touch his bare ring finger. Loving how that ring would never be on it ever again if he could help it. With a gentle shift, he rolled Mickey to his back, pulled out long enough to take the condom off, tie it and toss it aside. 

Mickey looked gorgeous spread out like this. Feelings all out in the open. His heart open as well, open only for him. And this time, they were both willing to give as much as they took from each other. 

“Stay here.” Ian moved off the bed, surprised when his legs protested a little. He knew Mickey was watching as he dug into his jeans and walked back to the bed, seemingly empty handed.

“What is it?” Mickey asked as his eyebrows furrowed. He tossed the sheet over his hips, trying not to feel so raw and exposed like this.

Ian didn’t answer but crawled back on the bed between his legs. “I can’t promise shit between us will ever be easy,” he bent down quickly to kiss him. He couldn’t help it. “And I wouldn’t offer this unless I was serious, which I am.”

Intrigued, Mickey sat up against the headboard. 

Ian opened his hand and let his dog tags dangle on their chain. He rubbed over them, tracing his last name and all the numbers imprinted on it. “I guess it’s not as special as it seems, but it’s all I have right now.”

“Fuck.” Mickey whispered, totally blown away.

Ian moved forward enough to slowly hang them around Mickey’s neck. His chest framed them perfectly as they settled just under his chest. “But maybe we can make it into something,” he took Mickey’s hand and kissed his palm, “together.”

That overly dramatic tear chose now to slip down his face. “Fuck you for making me cry.” He shot back with a watery laugh. The chain felt right against him, it felt good. He grabbed them and squeezed, the same as he squeezed Ian’s hand. “Together?”

Ian laid between his legs again until their foreheads touched. “Always together.”

Mickey cried a little harder, but it was silent and repeated his earlier statement. “You came back for me.”

Ian nodded, crying just as much, but made no noise to show it. “I came back for you.”


	2. A New Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this was going to be a one-shot only, but I can't stop thinking about more, so totally my fault if more actually sucks lol just work with me here...please

You Came Back  
Chapter 2- A New Start

It was unreal. Laying there in bed next to Mickey. It was literally his every dream while he was away. Trapping himself in that endless wonderland of bliss and Mickey. Able to touch and kiss him, to tell him how much he meant to him, and to hear it in return. With no doubts about how they felt, no obstacles in their way. 

Only love, acceptance. 

Only it wasn’t a dream. Mickey was beside him in bed, laying on his chest. Ian’s arms were wrapped tightly around him as he studied the rise and fall of his chest. The beat of his heart, and those almost non-existent snores. Their fingers lay on his stomach linked tightly and Ian had to keep squeezing every few seconds to make sure it was real. 

Mickey clenched his dogs tags in his other hand, held tightly to his chest. Ian was treating Mickey the same way was Mickey treated the tags. Like they were priceless, precious. Like if they let go for even a second, it would disappear forever. 

Ian was supposed to be sound asleep next to him. Enjoying the feel of his body as he slept, knowing he wouldn’t have to get up at the crack of dawn for training and drills. Just sleep. And he couldn’t. So much time had passed, Ian didn’t want to waste anymore sleeping. Instead, he counted each of Mickey’s breaths, stroked his hair as he whispered loving things into his ear. Told him again and again how much he loved it. It was a much better way to spend his time.

The thoughts running through his mind at warp speed, left him a little anxious, even while comfortable in bed with Mickey. You can’t just shut it off like that. He tried. Over and over again. The anxiousness stemmed from what came next for him, for them. If they would actually keep their promises this time, or if they would fall back into the flow of things as it had been over two years ago. 

It didn’t take long for his wiggling to disrupt Mickey’s deep sleep. With an annoyed sounding groan, Mickey shifted to turn over and Ian let him. Not wanting to let go, but Mickey had a job now, and he needed to sleep while he could. Ian already felt bad coming here so late, interrupting it. But that need to see him wouldn’t be kept at bay any longer.

Ian leaned over on one elbow and lightly kissed over the spread of Mickey’s shoulders. He smelled clean, but sex still radiated off him like the most expensive smelling cologne and he was addicted to it. Mickey gave a few appreciative sounding moans but didn’t wake. 

“I love you.” Ian whispered as he leaned into his neck to kiss him. 

The way Mickey arched into it was enough to make him hard again if he let it. Ian slowly rolled out of the bed as he tossed the blankets aside. The moon let just enough light for him to find his boxers, slip them on and grab his phone and smokes from his pocket.

“Ian.”

Stopping at the sound of his name, he turned to see Mickey still asleep as he rolled to where he’d been laying and buried his face into the pillow. With one deep breath, Mickey settled back down, pulling the sheet up to his chin before he laid still.

Ian had never seen anything so amazing before. Just the simple gesture of Mickey turning to get comfortable made his heart pound. Mickey saying his name like that, subconsciously knowing he’d left but still tried to find him, made Ian want to cry. 

They didn’t do this before. The feelings part of their relationship. So much had been different then, for both of them and everyone involved. They hadn’t slept in bed together before, never even had time to take all of their clothes off for sex. Too worried about timing and if anyone would catch them. There had been no cuddling or ‘I love yous'. 

Maybe that’s why he couldn’t sleep. Maybe because this was his first time sleeping with Mickey.

Another longing look at Mickey, and Ian forced himself to leave the room. He kept the door cracked and worked his way around the house. 

It was big, bigger than he remembered. Or maybe that’s because all the shit cluttered around was gone. Along the walls were more pictures of Mickey’s artwork. Drawings and sketches, doodles. Mickey doodling, it made him smile. Sketches of Mandy and Iggy smiling and goofing around. A few of Mickey’s baby, who’s name he didn’t even know.

Mickey had a child. Mickey was a dad.

Ian lightly traced the side of the baby’s cheek, as if it was actually in front of him. The love of his life had a baby, and he didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl. But what he did see, was how happy the baby looked. Not even a year old yet if he had to count back to when he left. 

With chubby cheeks and an incredible toothless smile. Even though it was a sketch, Ian would swear the baby’s eyes twinkled and he knew for a fact that this baby would have Mickey’s eyes. 

When he first found out about Mickey knocking Svetlana up, he hated it. The baby. He hated Mickey and Terry, but he despised her. But now, the longer he looked at that baby, the more Mickey he could see. How could he hate something that came from someone he loved the most?

When that sadness threatened to creep up again, Ian had to move away from it. A small smile came to his lips when he reached Mandy’s room. So many times they had been cooped up inside, drinking and smoking and talking boys. She had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. 

But the outside was different. The door was fixed, no pot leaves or band stickers pasted on the front. Just a door. Ian took a deep breath, readying himself for more of that life to leave, and opened the door. 

That heart clenching feeling was back. 

This was no longer Mandy’s room. The messy bed against the wall was now a baby crib. The wood was dark, like it was hand made. Ian had never seen one like it before. The bedding was a light blue color, little race cars were sewn into it. 

A little boy. 

Ian smiled sadly as he touched the squishy car in the corner of the crib. Just a light brush of his fingers but the harsh impact was there, and it was painful. 

Mickey had a son.

Along the walls, instead of ripped pictures and old posters, there were little car decorations on the wall, speeding along a racetrack. 

Mandy’s shelf had been moved. It housed empty liquor bottles, lava lamps, her bong and about a dozen porn magazines. Not anymore. Now sat a shelf with diapers, wipes, and those small little baby blankets. There was a bucket full of soft toys, those bendy books, unused teething rings. 

In the corner where a cluttered desk had been, now sat a rocking chair, the same color as the crib and it also had that home made feeling to it. A fluffy pillow sat on the seat and there was a dark blue blanket tossed across the back. 

Mandy was gone, not a single trace of her was left in this room. Another chunk of his life, gone, but replaced with something warm, with chubby cheeks and stormy blue eyes. 

Ian backed out of the room, closing the door like he’d never been there. That was something that would need serious attention for him and Mickey. Working out the details, making their lives work again. Maybe he would be able to meet Mickey’s baby. 

Or maybe not. Maybe Mickey wouldn’t want to share that part of his life with him. Maybe it wasn’t even his place to ask. A baby was a big deal, even one stemming from hate. Ian knew that no matter what, Mickey loved that baby. It wasn’t just about him and Mickey anymore, someone else was involved. Someone with soft little hands and small feet, someone with Mickey’s eyes and his smile.

Without wanting to jump that far ahead, Ian decided to wait to address babies a little later. The next room down, was Terry’s. Ian was almost afraid to go in there; unsure he would like what he’d find. He knew it wouldn’t be anything like before, but that room had been a no fly zone for so long.

Like Mandy’s room, Terry was no longer inside. It looked to be an office of sorts, a study maybe. Just a big desk with a computer, a little messy but Mickey was a little messy. A bookshelf took up the far right wall, filled with books of all kinds. Not a space left bare. There was a fluffy armchair by the window, with a lamp next to it. 

Ian walked to it and smiled as he saw a book on the windowsill, marked halfway through and a pair of black framed glasses. Mickey said he hadn’t needed them a few years ago, even when he had to squint to read anything. 

No Terry, no Mandy, a cute baby. And Mickey. 

The door closed on that room as well. There was only one left. Ian was surprised to see the other bathroom operational. Not the one in Mickey’s room but the one down the hall by Terry’s old room. It had been closed off, broken. 

The light worked; the awful smell was gone. It was clean, as clean as the rest of the house. But no shampoo, no clothes or towels that Mickey might need. There was baby shampoo though, one of those baby baths inside the tub. Soft silky rags with little colorful towels on the shelf above the toilet. Even a small toy basket beside the tub.

Ian smiled again, like he'd done so much since coming back. Mickey’s baby has his own bathroom. He didn’t know why, but that was the most epic thing he’d ever heard of. The house went from dealing drugs and running whores with Terry beating his kids, worse things to Mandy, to Mickey reading by a window and an entire bathroom for his baby. 

Karma. It had to be. 

Touring the house hadn’t gotten Ian any closer to sleep. Even making his way into the kitchen, he felt just as restless as he did an hour ago. Coffee would help, coffee always helped. Especially drinking it in your ex-boyfriends, new boyfriends kitchen? More things they would have to talk about.

The clock on the wall in the hallway chimed a total of six times and Ian nearly jumped when the coffee maker started brewing coffee, all on it’s own. 

“Figures.” He chuckled and enjoyed the smell that filled the house. 

The coffee maker had been programed to start at 6. That meant Mickey would be up soon. The thought made him incredibly anxious and happy at the same time. Mickey would have to go to work, breaking their newly formed bubble of bliss. 

There was plenty for him to do today. Go home, see his family, hope they let him stay until he found his own place. Get that mess all set up. He left for basic with nothing but a bag, and came home with a chunk of cash, ready to buy a house. That’s how lives started right? Put down some roots near the people you love and start living life in your own terms. 

Too much deep thinking running on no sleep. Ian left that for later, along with the baby thing, and snooped around Mickey’s kitchen. Everything was in the place that Mickey put it, the way he wanted it. Each cup had its place, each item in the refrigerator had its place. Jelly half empty on the first shelf, milk almost full on the second shelf, no booze, but a packed lunch at the bottom beside a row of Gatorade bottles. The door had those small baby food containers lined up neatly. 

On the counter there was a small radio, tucked into one corner. Ian pushed the on button and jazz music started playing. Mickey liked jazz? The channel was preset, so it wasn’t a mistake and it was in the kitchen so Mickey must listen to it a lot. 

It was so fucking odd, but in the best way. It felt like he was getting to know the new Mickey. Or maybe this was the old Mickey, locked away from the world for its own safety.

“You sleep at all?”

Ian smiled at the groggy, sleepy voice. Mickey in the morning was his favorite. But he didn’t turn, if he saw Mickey this way, talking would have to wait.

“Not much,” Ian replied and turned the radio down a little. “Different time zone, , jet lag maybe.”

“That’s bullshit.” Mickey added; he had no filter in the morning. 

Ian grinned. “Yeah, it’s bullshit.” 

The silence could have been fuel for so much shit. Mickey could have said what it really was that kept Ian awake, and Ian could have lied about it. But that didn’t happen this time. They both confirmed they knew what it was, there was no reason to say it right now. 

When Mickey wrapped both arms around his waist, Ian gave deep, contented sigh and leaned back. Their fingers linked together, their heads rested together, and it was everything. 

“Missed you when I woke up.” Mickey spoke softly, clearing his voice to chase away the sleep. 

“Me too. But I didn’t want to keep you awake.” Ian shut his eyes, more tired now then he’d been since his plane landed. “You were already groaning at my restlessness.”

“I’d rather groan about that then have you leave.” Mickey kissed across his shoulders, then rubbed his face against him. “I sleep better when you’re there.”

The feather light kisses were enough to bring him back from that brink of sleep. Ian tilted his head to the side just in time for Mickey to nuzzle his cheek. “Just too much on my mind.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Mickey suggested as he kissed along his jaw. “It might help, get you some sleep.”

“Yeah, I wanna talk about it.” Ian pulled away long enough to turn around and face him. “Just not right now.”

Mickey looked like a big, grumpy but adorable puppy in the morning. His face was relaxed, those wild eyebrows too. Lines from the sheets were pressed into one cheek and his hair was a complete mess from how many times Ian ran his fingers through it. 

In this light, Ian could see that his body wasn’t the only one to change. When Mickey had been thick before, part muscle, another part that cute chubbiness, now he was thick in that muscled way. His arms and shoulders were bigger, firm under his hands. His chest was chiseled, his abs more defined, and the beginnings of a v-cut in his hips.

“Fuck,” Ian groaned, realizing he had spaced out a little. 

Mickey smirked. “You gonna make it Gallagher?”

“I don’t think so Mick,” he groaned again and let his hands fall to wrap around Mickey’s waist, pulling him closer. “You look incredible.”

“You sayin I didn’t before?” Mickey asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

Ian scuffed. So they were playing this game again. He flexed, not a lot, but just enough so Mickey caught the change and his eyes widened. “You said something similar a few hours ago. That mean you didn’t like my body before?”

Mickey swallowed thickly and let his hands smooth up Ian’s arms, a little surprised when he couldn’t even grip half of them. “You know I did.”

Ian smirked this time, hearing Mickey speak his mind was fucking legendary “Yeah, I know. And so do you. I love your body Mickey, always.” His voice was low, deeper in the way it became during sex. “But I like when your body changes like this, nice and hard and thick as hell.” Ian held him tighter, on that edge of sexual need all over again.

“Fuck,” Mickey whispered right against his lips. “I should have kept my damn mouth shut.”

Ian sucked Mickey’s bottom lip into his mouth, stroking it with his tongue before he released it. “You don’t really want to know what I’d say to that, do you?”

“I do, but I can’t right now.” Mickey whined, gripping Ian’s shoulders harder. “I have a class at 7:30.”

Ian thought it had been work. But Mickey going to class made him grin. “That is so sexy, you know that?”

Mickey blushed and hid his face in Ian’s chest. “I don’t do that shit to be sexy Ian.”

“Maybe that’s why it’s sexy.” Ian kissed the top of his head. “Coffee now, body worship later?”

Mickey looked up and smiled. “Damn right, gotta put that new body to work.”

Ian’s eyebrows went up in a flash. “Better put yours to work too Mick,” Ian moved his hands to Mickey’s stomach, digging his nails in enough to make him moan. “Gonna use you like an amusement park.”

That deep groan in Mickey’s throat would not be pushed down again. “That would be so cheesy if it wasn’t so damn hot.”

“It’s so cheesy,” they shared one of those dorky, too much teeth smiles. “But no less true. Okay, so class first. Then work?” Ian asked, biting the side of his lip.

“Yeah, class is until 9, then work.”

It felt odd for him not to know Mickey’s schedule. So, he asked. “And work would be?”

Mickey could sense the unease and squeezed Ian’s shoulders. “At the garage until 4, then the construction site until 7.” 

Two jobs, plus classes? Ian shouldn’t have been surprised, not with the state of the house. The money had to come from somewhere and Mickey did say the job was legit now, so no under the table deals or easy schemes. The money came from hard, back breaking work. 

“Two jobs,” Ian smiled, seeing Mickey’s proud look. “Impressive.”

“Oh shut up, you know shit doesn’t pay for itself.” Mickey tried for snarky but didn’t quite get there. “You got plans?”

“Plans?”

“Yeah. Ya know, being back home and all that complicated shit.”

“I do, yeah.” He moved back with a quick kiss to Mickey’s lips and got them both a cup of coffee. “Gotta go back to the house, see if they’ll even let me stay there until I find a place.”

Mickey was a little startled and he knew it showed. "Like a place to live?”

Ian smiled. “Yes Mick, I don’t wanna stay there with them and they pay you for joining the army.”

“You meant it then, that you’re staying?” Mickey’s cup of coffee and getting ready for class was put on hold, for however long it took to get an answer.

“For a little bit, but not forever.” Ian set his cup down too and offered his hand to Mickey. He smiled when he took it, linking their fingers. “I’m here for awhile, but they will deploy me at some point.”

Mickey felt that fear of being left again. Fear of abandonment as some would say. But he knew Ian wasn’t able to stay forever. “As in war and shit?”

“As in war and shit.” Ian brought their hands up to kiss the back of Mickey’s. “They said it could take up to 16 months for me to deploy, or as little as 8 weeks. But I get some time to get my shit outside the Army together, a house and all that normal shit.”

“16 months is a long time,” Mickey refused to say only 8 weeks. He wanted to make the best of this for as long as possible. 

“It is.” Ian smiled. “But, we have time to talk about all that shit later, but only if you want.”

Mickey narrowed his eyes. “If I want?”

Ian pulled back again, not wanting to argue but he really didn’t want to assume anything about this or them. “Yes, if. We both have to think about this. Like bigger picture shit. And I won’t just assume anymore.”

“Fine, don’t assume,” Mickey huffed and walked up to him, gripping his face hard to get all of his attention. “I fucking want this.”

Ian would have cried if Mickey’s lips weren’t on his, kissing the breath from him. Instead he groaned, a soft, grateful sound and kissed him back. Holding him tight, afraid to let go. When Mickey pulled back, Ian chased his lips. Kissing him a few more times before they parted. 

“Good enough for now?” Mickey asked, rubbing his thumb over Ian’s lip.

“Good enough for now.” Ian agreed, leaned forward to kiss him once more before he moved back. “Go get ready.”

Without another word, Mickey turned away and went back into his room. Ian stayed in the kitchen until he heard the shower going, then snuck back inside and grabbed the rest of his clothes. He didn’t change in the bedroom, a little too afraid what would happen if Mickey walked out in just a towel, total meltdown. 

Dressed and caffeinated, Ian stood in the kitchen and waited. It didn’t take long for Mickey to join him, wearing dark jeans with no holes and a rather plain blue shirt, with no labels or gang signs or drug references. Just plain clothes. And he never looked so fucking sexy.

Ian stuffed his hands into his pockets, just so he didn’t grab at him and let his eyes say all he was thinking. Mickey knew by the way he tongued the corner of his mouth and that dark look in his eyes.

“You drivin there?” Ian asked, choosing to say something neutral and keep them from drowning in sexual tension.

“Yeah, you want a ride?” Mickey answered instantly, eyeing Ian up and down like Ian did to him.

“Yes, please.” Ian stepped forward, unwilling to take the bait Mickey so easily put in reach. “Ready?”

“In a second.” Mickey moved towards the refrigerator, grabbed his lunch, the 6 pack of Gatorade and closed it. “Gotta grab my bag.”

Mickey juggled the items and Ian had to offer. “I can grab it. Bedroom?”

Mickey opened the door with a smile and fumbled with the keys. “Yup, in the chair by the door. I’ll meet you outside.”

Ian was already in the bedroom when Mickey mumbled that last bit. He saw the bag, open and a few books on the ground. He stuffed them in, then slung it over one shoulder. Mickey’s phone and wallet were on the nightstand too, forgotten.

Some shit never changed. Mickey used to forget his phone and wallet at home all the damn time and they would have to double back and grab them. Ian snatched them with a smile and went to leave. 

The picture on the nightstand stopped him. Or, both pictures. One was of Mickey and his son, full smiles wearing what used to be a spaghetti dinner. Ian felt his smile widen to match theirs. The other frame, he had to pick up and bring it closer.

It was of him, years ago. He had on that silly beanie hat, trying to pose for some stupid gays only magazine Mandy begged him to do. It was disastrous but he had no idea Mickey kept the picture. By his bed no less. 

“Jesus Christ.” Ian whispered and it back down. Mickey wasn’t pulling any punches with this shit. He wasn’t hiding anymore. 

“Come on Gallagher!” 

Ian snapped to attention at Mickey’s voice. He made sure he had what Mickey needed, locked the door and joined Mickey in the car.

“You get lost?” Mickey joked as he pulled away from the house.

Ian smiled and stuffed the bag between his feet and offered up Mickey’s wallet and phone. “No, but it seems like you still forget this shit at home.”

“Oh shut up.” Mickey elbowed him with a smile and tossed the phone into his lap. “I had other shit on my mind.”

Not even looking, Ian knew Mickey was once again looking him over. He could feel the heat. “Eyes on the road Mick. Don’t want to crash.”

“It would be worth it.” Mickey muttered as he turned back to drive. “So, you talk to any of your family when you were gone?”

Sexual distraction broken, Ian shook his head and watched all the familiar buildings pass by. “Nope. Not any of them.”

“Not even Lip?” Mickey asked, surprised as he turned the corner. “You actually liked him though.”

Ian snorted. “You have to like your family Mick. I think it’s required.” 

The closer they got to the Gallagher house, the more tense he became. When he got in last night, everyone had been asleep. He hadn’t had to face the fallout of his choice to leave. But it would be waiting for him, and he couldn’t hide from it.

“You know that’s not true.” Mickey gave him a look. “You don’t have to like or love your family. But you do, or you did.”

“I do,” he said quickly. “But I know that as soon as I get there, it’s going to be 20 questions and shitty attitudes.”

Ian was already tired, and they hadn’t even made it there yet. It was his life, what he did with it as an adult was his own shit. He wasn’t required to tell them. But he knew Fiona might not let him stay if he didn’t explain.

“You know you don’t have to answer, right?” Mickey offered as pulled the car to the other side of their street. “You’re an adult, man. If you want to explain because you want to, then do it. But don’t let them bully you about it.”

Ian moved fast, leaning across the middle to kiss him. He groaned when Mickey kissed him back, but he forced himself to pull away. “You are so fucking amazing.”

Mickey gave a shy smile. “Far from it, but I’m workin on it.”

“You’re right though,” Ian kept one hand on Mickey’s cheek, smoothing over it with his thumb. “I don’t have to tell them. But you know how Fiona is. She may not let me stay until I do.”

“The hell with her and all that shit.” Mickey huffed, annoyed instantly. “She can’t fuckin randsom shit like that. Threaten to kick you out when you don’t tell her.”

“Preaching to the choir Mick,” Ian smiled and looked past his angry face to the house. “But at this rate, I may end up at a hotel for a bit.”

“You’re really not gonna ask?” Mickey smiled, even as he continued to be mad at Fiona. “You know you can stay with me, right?”

The love he felt for Mickey seemed to double each time he said stuff like that. Not just the sex stuff, but the real stuff too. The everyday shit. The meaningful shit. God, Mickey was such a good man.

“I know.” He smiled and kissed Mickey’s cheek. “But no, I’m not gonna do that.” Mickey’s smile dimmed a little at that. “You know I want to, so fucking bad. But we aren’t there yet.”

“Aren’t where?” Mickey asked.

“There; at the moving in shit. I just got back, and after all the shit we went through, we probably only have one chance at this.”

Mickey leaned his head back. Ian was right. But he didn’t want him to be.

“We are doin this shit the right way.” Ian promised and waited until Mickey looked back at him before he kept talking. “So, you’re going to work, I’m going to learn how to be an adult and a buy a damn house.”

Mickey smiled, unable to stop it with how sure Ian sounded. 

“Then, we are going to make time for each other, like everyone else does.” Ian leaned over into Mickey’s seat, lowering his voice. “We are going to go on a few awkward dates, I’m gonna drop you off at your front door with only a kiss on the cheek…”

Mickey scuffed

Ian laughed but kept going. “Eventually we will make out, then go through all their bases until we hit a home run.” He licked up the side of his neck, pleased when Mickey’s scuff turned into a groan. “We will date, meet the parents, or not.” He paused when they both shivered. “We are going to take long vacations together, then exchange keys and keep clothes at each other houses.”

“You got this all planned before coffee?” Mickey groaned as Ian licked along his jaw again.

“No,” he mumbled in between kisses, “just now worked it all out in my head.”

“Crazy bitch.” Mickey turned his head and nipped Ian’s bottom lip. “Is that where it ends?”

“Fuck no,” Ian returned the favor and nipped Mickey’s lip. “After that, I’m gonna take you to New York and propose in the middle of Time Square.”

“Shit, shit, shit….” Mickey groaned and had to push a hand on his cock, stopping the orgasm that was about to happen. “Ian please, don’t do this to me.”

Ian chuckled, all too pleased with himself. “Fine, I’ll stop. But that is our agenda and you know I’m a total control freak.”

Mickey took a deep breath when Ian moved back, trying to breathe past it. “Yes, I remember. Fuck.”

It was such a turn on knowing that he nearly made Mickey come from all that talk of future plans. Ian meant every single word and maybe that’s why Mickey had that reaction. And it would happen, all of it. Right down to going to New York, because Mickey always wanted to go there, and to proposing in Time Square. 

“I’m gonna go before more shit happens.” Ian laughed when Mickey groaned. “When can I see you?”

“8, my place?” Mickey asked, not knowing how to get in contact yet. They hadn’t even traded numbers yet.

“See you then,” leaned in for another kiss, dragging it on longer than it should have been. “I love you.”

Mickey didn’t hesitate. “I love you too.”

**

“Ian, oh my God!”

Ian actually smiled at the sound of Fiona’s surprised tone. Her face was priceless, and she was less mad than he expected. She looked like she was about to cry. 

There was no time to react as she came flying across the room and slammed against his chest. Ian groaned, wrapped both arms around her and let himself feel it. Home. Family. Love. She hugged him like she lost him, and maybe she had. 

“I missed you too.” Ian mumbled in her shoulder, more than a little worked up.

“I thought I would never see you again.” Fiona cried, holding on tighter. “You never said anything.”

That was the truth and it hurt. Nothing was ever said, not about his and Mickey’s fucked up relationship/arrangement. No one knew that he loved the badass fag beater in the South Side, they didn’t know that Mickey loved him back, even when he didn’t say it. 

They didn’t understand why Mickey’s marriage totally fucked Ian up. Not to mention the pregnancy. They didn’t see how sick he had been, watching the man he loved marry someone else. They didn’t know how hard it was to share, to hide, to fight and claw for a chance to be with him. 

They didn’t know that it had broken him. 

That day, the day Mickey locked his hand with hers, that kiss in front of family and friends, it had torn him to pieces, and he couldn’t put them together again, no matter how much he tried, no matter how much he wanted to. 

His family didn’t know why he had to go. They would just say, ‘more fish in the sea', or something equally insensitive. For all he knew, they could have thought he was dead somewhere. Or alone. Or worse, pimping himself out for drugs. They didn’t know that he had managed to bandage up his heart enough to function, enough to live. He pulled himself together and survived. 

“I’m sorry.” Ian was crying, like he was 15 again, confused about who he was.

“Oh, sweet face,” Fiona cried too and ran her fingers up and down his back. “I’m so sorry that we didn’t know, that we couldn’t be there for you when you needed it.”

Ian backed up, breaking the hug and wiped the tears away. “What are you talking about?”

“You and Mickey,” Fiona wiped her own face. “I feel so stupid for not seeing it the entire time. For not trying harder to see it.”

She knew? They knew? 

“How the hell did you know?” Ian barked, on the defensive despite his inner thoughts. 

“Mickey told me Ian,” Fiona said softly. 

Ian’s eyes widened.

“That day you left; he was here looking for you. Trying to find you.”

Tears dripped down his face.

Fiona continued with a smile. “I’ve never seen him so upset before. Crying and pissed off, hurt.”

Was this real? Ian felt like he should be banging his head against the wall, to see if he was awake. 

“He told us, all of it.” Fiona wiped her face again as more tears fell. “He told us about when you two would meet, sneaking around. He told us how much you loved him and that he'd been too afraid to tell you.”

“Oh my God,” Ian wrapped his arms around himself, trying to breathe and not storm to the college and see him.

“Mickey told us about what happened with Terry,” Fiona put a hand to her mouth. “I am so fucking sorry you two had to go through that.”

Mickey told her about that day? About Terry and Svetlana? Mickey wouldn’t even talk about that with him, and he had to watch the entire thing. Now he told Fiona, his family? 

“It’s in the past,” Ian replied finally. He refused to look back on that day anymore. “But why, why did he tell you?”

“Because we didn’t know Ian.” Fiona moved closer and put her hand on his arm. “He didn’t want it to be a secret anymore, but it was too late. You were gone.”

Ian wanted nothing more than to hear what Mickey actually said to his family that night. He would have given anything for Mickey to tell him this, to keep him from leaving. But he hadn’t. 

There was that old saying; you never know what you have, until you lose it. Mickey realized what he had, but it had been too late. That part of their life was over. But this, this was something new. Something that felt right. Mickey knew what he wanted; Ian knew what he wanted. Maybe they were ready to take a chance.

“I was just with him and he didn’t say anything.” Ian told Fiona. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?”

“Just with him?” Fiona asked carefully as if maybe she’d heard him wrong. “You dropped your stuff off and went to see him?”

Ian nodded. “Whatever this is, whoever the hell we are now, it’s worth trying again.” He had never been so sure of anything in his life. “Maybe it didn’t work then for a reason. He wasn’t ready for that, I’m not even sure I was,” he paused , trying to digest so many things at once was exhausting. “But I am now, we are now.”

“Ian, no one is ever ready to fall in love. It’s confusing and painful and people get hurt. But that’s never stopped us before, has it?” Fiona smirked, making Ian smile a little. “The time is right when you make it right. Some time apart has helped, even as bad as it felt, but you two grew up so much since then.”

Ian nodded because that was all true. Time apart had been such a bitch, but they were better versions of themselves now. They knew what they wanted, they wanted each other. They wanted another chance. 

“I know you know why I left, but I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.” Ian still felt bad about dropping off the face of the earth like that. “I just needed to go, and I know you guys would have convinced me to stay.”

Fiona smiled. “Yeah, we would have. But you’re not a kid anymore Ian, I can’t tell you what to do, or how to do it. You just have to do what you think is right.” 

“We talked a little,” Ian smiled when Fiona wiggled her eyebrows. She knew they did more than talk. “We are gonna take it slow, like very slow. It’s more than just Mickey and I.”

Fiona nodded. “He’s a good baby, Ian. Mickey has brought him over a time or two.”

Was there anything else that could surprise him? Mickey bringing his baby to the Gallagher house, that couldn’t be right. By her tone, Fiona already seemed half in love with this baby, or maybe it was because Mickey, badass of the South Side had a baby and actually took good care of it. Something no one probably assumed would ever happen. 

Ian chose not to ask her about Mickey’s baby, no matter how much he wanted some information. That was between him and Mickey, so he would wait. “We are gonna meet tonight to talk some shit over, he has class and work until then.”

Fiona smiled. “He’s doin very good Ian.”

Ian didn’t need her to tell him that, he already knew. But her saying it held so much weight, it was easy to tear up a little. “I know, and I’m happy for him. That’s why this is gonna happen slowly.”

“And how about you? He has class and work all day, any plans?”

Ian shrugged. “I wanted to make sure it was okay if I stayed here while I look for a place.”

Fiona’s eyes sparkled and Ian missed her being that happy about something. 

“Of course you can, it’s always going to be your home Ian. But this means you’re staying right?”

“I am,” he waited to see if her smile would dim before he said the rest. But it didn’t. “For awhile, but I’m still active duty, I’m waiting for deployment.”

Fiona’s smile slowly faded. She felt all that happiness drain right out at the thought of her brother going in any kind of war zone. She wanted to tell him no, that it was crazy to put yourself at risk like that. But she didn’t. She just got her brother back and would not risk losing him. 

“Do you know when?” She looked down and fiddled with her fingers.

Ian knew this must be hard on her, but she didn’t try and tell him what to do this time. “Not yet, could be a year or more, could be a few months. I won’t know until it happens.”

“I really don’t want anything bad to happen to you Ian.” Fiona felt her eyes water, but she blinked quickly. “That stuff is so dangerous.”

Times like this, Fiona was thinking more like a mom and less like a sister. Ian loved her for it. He grabbed her hands and squeezed them until she looked up. “I trained, for 19 months for that Fi, I can do it. I know I can.” He kissed her knuckled. “I’m strong enough.”

Fiona stood up and threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. Ian returned the hug with equal force, squeezing her like this was goodbye instead of hello. He could feel her body shake with each cry, he could feel her nails into his back and how it seemed like if she hugged him hard enough, she would be able to protect him.

“I never doubted that Ian, I know you can do this.” Fiona’s voice wavered as she spoke into his shoulder. “You don’t know how proud I am of you. You are so brave and good and just so fucking beautiful.”

This is how he knew it would all be okay. The hardest part of life had come early for him, forcing him to let go and leave his love. But he made it through without malice in his heart, only a stronger love inside him. One willing to do anything it takes to keep it with him. 

Ian laughed, a watery sound if he’d ever heard one. “Thank you, Fi,” he sniffled a little as the tears started to fall. Absolute love and acceptance could make you fall apart like this, in the best ways. “For everything.”


	3. The Past WIll Always Come Back

You Came Back  
Chapter 3- The Past Will Always Come Back

House hunting had been a little trickier than Ian imagined it to be. Living in the same house his entire life hadn’t prepared him for the obstacles he would have to get passed before he could get approved for a place. 

First, he wasn’t Phillip Gallagher, not really. Okay, so his ID said he was, the military said he was, but he wasn’t. As with all of the Gallagher’s, Lip had a shitty credit score, not unworkable but bad enough for a few people to tell him he needed to look other places. Other places were either too big, or too small, or required too damn much money to maintain it all. 

Truthfully, Ian didn’t know what all he was looking for. He came back in hopes of repairing things with Mickey. Ian hadn’t imagined it would go as well as it was, but they were on a path to talk about it all, to decide what they wanted their future to be. If, and that was a big if, if they got back together, and he bought a house, what would happen when they got to that 'move in with me' stage? He had a good feeling it would be him who would move in with Mickey. 

That house had too much money dropped into it just for Mickey to sell the place because he got a new one. Not to mention, Mickey had a baby living in in that house, frequently by the looks of it. Maybe he was thinking too far ahead, because really, he’d only been back less than half a day, but in the end, Ian walked away from the offers to buy a house.

It was too soon. 

Living at home was a no. There was no way he would fall back into that old life so easily by staying there. He was a man; he needed his own place. A house, yes. Maybe in the future, but a smaller, temporary place would have to do for now. Somewhere to get him away from home, a place to call home until his real home; with Mickey, had been given enough time to talk and to heal all those fractured pieces.

“There you go, Mister Gallagher,” the apartment manager said with a smile and handed him a set of keys. “Welcome to Oakhaven.” 

Ian’s grin was unforced as he took the keys and shook the offered hand. “Thank you, sir.” He had a folder tucked under one arm and a set of keys in his hand as he walked out of the management office.

The Oakhaven Apartments were beautiful. Smaller than a house, less permanent too. He’d signed a 6 month lease, with all the hopes to renew at that time if he felt like it. Anything and everything could happen in 6 months. He opted for a 2 bedroom, instead of a 1 or 3, simply because Mickey was now a 2 person family and Ian hadn’t hesitated to ask for a 2 bedroom, just in case little man was ever there too. 

The apartment complex was very homey, not like the standard places you see. The ones that look designed to make you miserable the second you stay there. There was no top floor or bottom floor, but those neat side by side places, so no stairs. No kids or people stomping above him. The complex included a good sized pool, one of those internet café places that was also a small library, the manager insisted it existed, a business center, a playground; Ian instantly imagined an older Mickey playing with a running toddler there, a laundry room, a gym; which he would use often to maintain his new body, and even a basketball court that could be used for tennis if you wanted. 

It was more than he’d ever had before. The only pool the Gallagher’s ever had, was the one he and Lip used Kevin’s truck to lift out of someone’s yard, or the community pool that was so packed there were more people than actual water. Internet had never been a need at home, they didn’t need it to survive so they went without. The same with a gym, a café/library, they never had access to good sports equipment or a playground for Liam. But now he did, he had access to all of it and it had him feeling better about his future than he had in years.

The next place on Ian’s ‘to do' list, was getting a vehicle. Nothing new or expensive, big enough for a kid because now that Mickey had one, Ian considered him in all his choices. It didn’t matter if he never met the little guy and with how much Mickey said he wanted this; it was possible that he would be the baby’s life a lot. So, no sports cars or bikes, he couldn’t bring himself to get a mini van, not at 19 years old. So, SUV, compact car, or a full sized truck. 

Ian opted for the truck. One because he was a guy and trucks were fucking awesome, and two because it had a shit load of room to haul shit, like the furniture he would need for his empty apartment considering he had none. It wasn’t new, but it wasn’t old either. It ran and he paid a good chunk of cash for it, but a vehicle was one of those need to have things if you wanted to play at being an adult. And fuck, Ian really wanted to play. 

By the time he drove; yes, drove, out of the car lot, it was close to 6. The entire day he was out, Ian kept glancing at his phone, hoping Mickey would call, only to realize they hadn’t gotten there yet. Not to mention Mickey was working. So, with his mind buzzing with thoughts of the future and his stomach fighting the urge not to eat itself, Ian stopped by and grabbed a few pizzas, like 8, and headed back to the house.

Unlike before, it was very much alive. It seemed like very light was on inside, a car parked out front and the sound of a heard of elephants coming from inside. The closer he got to the door and the louder it became, the more his stomach started to flip nervously. Just as it did with Fiona. 19 months was a lifetime away from your family. Especially with no contact the entire time and no goodbyes. Even if they knew the why’s of it all, it didn’t make him feel any better.

The door was unlocked and with the pizzas in hand, Ian made his way towards the kitchen. He didn’t get far, barely two feet in the door when all the commotion he heard outside, stopped. They all looked so different. Older, but still the same. Carl and Debbie fought over Kevin’s Xbox controller, Liam sat on the couch surrounded by books and maybe Ian saw a few ripped pages, maybe he didn’t, he would never tell. Lip had been laughing at Debbie and Carl by the way his eyes still shined. He could hear Fiona talking with Veronica in the kitchen and imagined Kevin at the table, trying to keep up. 

“Ian!!”

Ian braced for the attack as Debbie and Carl said his name at the same time. Good thing Lip was faster and managed to grab the stack of pizzas before they slammed into him. Like getting hit by a linebacker, Ian stumbled back into the closed door, one of his arms around each of them. Only family had the ability to change your mood in a microsecond. He went from nervous, to crying like a little baby, trying to hug them closer, tighter. 

Debbie cried; she always did. But not Carl. But by the grip Carl had around Ian’s waist, he was feeling it too. “I missed you guys.” Ian laughed, halfway between a cry and a full blown sob.

“We missed you too.” Debbie replied as they both backed away and she could wipe her face. 

Ian only smiled when Carl punched his arm, hard.

“Asshole! Don’t leave like that again.”

Before he could apologize, Lip was pushing his way passed them and wrapped him up in a hug. This time, Ian didn’t fight the tears because Lip was the only one who knew about Mickey. Not the details, but he had a hint. Lip knew how hard that shit had been on him, and it didn’t matter if the rest knew why after the fact, Lip had been included while it all happened. 

“Fuckin missed you.” Lip spoke low into his neck, squeezing hard.

“Missed you too.” Ian squeezed his eyes closed but the tears came anyway. They stood there longer than he and Fiona had, just trying to feel it all while they could. It’s like one of those heart felt talks but relayed through a hug. It was cleansing, it was powerful.

Lip pulled away, smiling but with tears in his eyes. “You whole?”

That was the best question he’d ever been asked. Why people asked if he was okay was mind boggling. No, he was not okay. Maybe he never would be, and Lip knew how stupid a question that was. Was he whole? No, but he was getting there.

“Workin on it man.” Ian smiled back. 

“Ian!”

Oh, kids and their full blown smiled and hugs that could take even the worst pains away. Liam pushed passed them all and held his hands up. Ian wanted to just bawl until there were no more tears left. But then that happy smile would fade, and Liam would cry. He couldn’t have that.

“Hey buddy,” Ian smiled and wiped his face before he bent down and picked him up. Little arms went around his neck and squeezed as hard as he could. “I missed you.”

“Missed you.” Liam replied. “Where'd you go?”

Everyone shared a look. One that asked each other what should be said. Liam was only 4 and there was no way to explain the entire Mickey situation. But he wouldn’t lie, not anymore. Not with anyone or for anyone. Not to anyone.

“I just had to leave for a while,” Ian smiled when Liam pulled back and poked at the freckles on his face. “But I’m back now and I brought pizza.” Liam smiled. “Feel like eating?”

“I love pizza!” Liam smiled again.

And that was that. Liam ran into the kitchen as they all worked their way back. Falling easily into normal conversations. Fiona greeted him with a smile, Veronica kissed every inch of his face, covering him in lipstick prints. Kev started to get a little emotional and demanded they sit together. Ian couldn’t say no, not when Kev used those puppy dog eyes. 

There was no talk of Mickey, or what happened. Ian did not talk about the army or basic training. They talked about the kids in school, Lip getting a full ride to college; finally giving in and going. There was talk about Kev and Vee having babies, Fiona talked about work and her boyfriend Mike. Liam chimed in with all that random kid stuff and made sure everyone heard him. And it was good, it was perfect for right now. All that heavy shit could wait a little longer.

**

Seven o’clock had Ian a little antsy. It could have been the lack of sleep, or running through all the emotions from the day, but Ian knew it had all to do with Mickey. 

After dinner and much needed family time, Ian had taken a shower; not even upset he used all the hot water. It felt weird to shower alone, but it was peaceful. He finally shaved the rough scruff on his face from only 3 days without shaving, dressed casual; jeans and a shirt, nothing in the realm of army standards. The Army didn’t care too much about luxury, just necessity. Long, hot showers were needed, normal clothes were needed. 

But the hour was winding down, getting closer to that time. With a little encouragement from Fiona; only reminding him that it had been his idea, his want, to go slow, had him driving to Mickey’s house. 

Would Mickey’s baby be there? Would Mickey be all grouchy after work and class all day? What did they talk about? Where did they start?  


It was all the questions that had him reeling. He hadn’t been lying when he reminded Mickey that he was a control freak. Ian liked to have a plan, to set a goal and be able to navigate himself to get there, the army only enhanced that need. Only he didn’t have that this time. They were winging it and it was freaking him out a little.

Mickey’s car was already there when Ian pulled up to the curb. The kitchen light was on and a few of the windows were open letting in the fall air. Ian made sure to actually put his truck in park and lock it before he was messing with his clothes. Was he trying to hard? Jeans and a shirt? Or not hard enough maybe? 

Maybe Mickey wouldn’t have cared what he looked like 2 years ago, but now he might. Mickey seemed to show and say what he wanted at all times now. There was no doubt, no assuming. Mickey wanted this, he wanted him. Maybe that’s what made him so nervous.

That or too many maybes.

“Just take it slow,” Ian muttered to himself as he walked across the street. “Just talking, get some answers…”  


In the gate, up the steps and to the door. It happened in a blink of an eye. With a deep breath, head held high, shoulders back and all that anxiety bottled away for later, Ian knocked.

“It’s open!!”

Ian kept the smile to himself as he let himself in. The first thing he noticed, was the smell; food. Like actual food. Not bagel bites or pizza rolls, but food food. It made his stomach grumble, putting that pizza to shame. The next thing he noticed was the music; jazz again. A little louder than it was this morning, but not out of control. 

The best way to describe everything he felt after coming home, was a rollercoaster. That’s what it felt like. You think you’re ready for it, but it jerks you in another direction before you can blink. Then as soon as you adapt, it happens again. Surprise after surprise. It was mind blowing. 

“Don’t be a creep Gallagher, get in here.”

Ian got it together long enough to walk towards the kitchen. From the door, he could see Mickey moving around. Ian noticed the books spread out on the coffee table in the living room, with the game on tv muted. 

“Smells good in here.” Ian complimented with a smile as he leaned against the doorway in the kitchen. 

Fuck the food, even with as good as it smelled. Ian was having a hard time not rushing into the kitchen and laying Mickey out on the table. He wore the same clothes from today, but the white apron tied tightly around his hips had Ian’s mind doing somersaults. 

Domestic Mickey was so fucking sexy.

Mickey closed the oven and turned with a smile. “Thank you.”

Ian nodded in reply, smiling as well but now what? A kiss? A hug? More awkwardness probably. It was a good thing Mickey spoke before his mind shouted out anymore reasons why this was weird.

“I think you’re supposed to kiss me.” Mickey stated smoothly, with a smirk.

Fuck, Ian’s heart started to pound, no, his entire body started to pound. There was no reply, other than the obvious. Ian pushed off the door frame and nearly ran at him. He had one arm wrapped around Mickey’s waist, the other cupping his face, before Mickey could smirk again. 

Even with the tension between them, Ian kept the kiss soft. His thumb stroked Mickey’s bottom lip before he leaned down to kiss them. Mickey kissed him back, his arms moving up to wrap around his neck, one moved up, slipping into his short hair to grip it as much as possible. It had Ian softly moaning into that next kiss. 

“I’ll never get enough of that.” Ian whispered as their kiss slowly stopped and their heads leaned together. 

“Enough of what?” Mickey asked, tracing the side of Ian’s jaw as the other hand rubbed his neck. 

A shiver worked its way down his body just from Mickey touching him like this. “Of you kissing me.” Ian replied just as he kissed him again, not long enough for Mickey to kiss him back. “It’s just incredible.”

Mickey gave a knowing smile but didn’t bring it open to talk about just yet. “Well, get used to it.” He kissed him again. 

Ian sagged forward, legs a little weak. It lasted microseconds but he would remember those soft kisses for years to come. “I think I will.” Ian whispered a few kisses later.

When the timer went off, Ian let Mickey go, moving to lean back where he had been, just to watch him. He felt like he needed a camera to record this. To watch it over and over, and maybe he would only zoom in on his ass for a minute longer, especially when he bent over to get into the oven.

“Hungry?” Mickey asked and used his knee to close the oven door.

“I could eat.” Ian replied casually. 

Mickey smiled as he turned, unable to hide the fact that his mind went a little into the gutter at Ian’s reply. “Yeah, you always do.”

Ian grinned and winked. “Anything I can help with?”

“Yeah, sit the fuck down cuz that hovering shit is making me even more nervous.”

Ian snorted out a laugh and took a seat at the table, already set for two, way before he gave Mickey his answer. “Even more nervous?”

Mickey looked away. “Yeah, nervous. Don’t tell me you aren’t.”

“No, I’m really nervous.” His forced laugh confirmed it. 

Mickey let the food cool on the stove and turned around, leaning against the counter. “You know us being nervous is stupid, right? I mean, we already went through the bad shit.”

Ian nodded, in full agreement with both those statements.

“And I already told you I wanted this.” Mickey said it again. “And you do too, right?”

The smile was out of his control. “I do.”

“So, like you said, take it slow. Figure shit out as we go.” Mickey offered willingly but still crossed his arms. 

It felt like they still weren’t at that point yet, to hash it all out right now. And that was okay too. All that shit didn’t need to be said in one go. Gradually worked also. Otherwise it would leave them both raw, tense and at unease around each other. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Ian stood from the chair and moved to stand in front of Mickey. “But kissing is allowed, right?” He asked as he eyed his lips.

Mickey put both hands on Ian’s hips and pulled him closer, so his feet were between his. “Yeah, it is.”

Ian licked his lips. “Good.”

It was Mickey who connected their lips. Lifting up on his toes for half a second until Ian was holding the side of his neck and pressing him against the counter, kissing him back. It was soft and sweet but also passionate and needy. Ian could feel Mickey’s lips tremble as he kissed him.

“I love you.” Ian softly repeated as he moved from those trembling lips to his jaw. Telling him it was okay, that they didn’t need to rush it all. “It’s okay.”

Mickey nodded and pressed against Ian’s touch. “Today,” he started but had to clear his voice before he could continue; it held a little too much emotion. “I thought maybe this entire thing had been a dream.”

Ian felt the panic that would stem from that feeling. He felt it last night, many times. “I’ve had many dreams like this.”

“Me too.” Mickey replied quickly. “But in class, someone asked me about the dogs tags.”

Ian pulled back enough to look at him. His eyes looked incredible wide, fearful and hopeful. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Mickey answered sadly. “I had no idea what to say.”

Ian’s chest clenched painfully. “I didn’t mean for it to cause a problem Mickey.” He waited, taking a deep breath. “You don’t have to wear them.”

“I know,” Mickey answered quickly. “But I want to. I just didn’t know what to say. It just made me realize that this was real, that I didn’t just conjure that shit up.”

“I could list a bunch of shit about us, maybe it would be true, maybe not, but it was always real Mick.” Ian caressed the side of his face. “Even if we didn’t show it or say it, or even accept it, it was always real.”

“Yeah, it was.” Mickey leaned into his hand. “It still is.” 

“I know.” He grinned and moved back. “So, tell me some real shit about today. Class or work, shit like that.”

Little pieces at a time. There was too much history, too much pain to hash it all out right now. It would have to be done in spurts, just like that, followed by normal, everyday talk. 

“Class was good, a little too early for my mind to catch up, but I’m working on it.” Mickey smiled and turned back to the food, putting together two plates worth.

“I have no doubt Mick.” Ian smiled, proud of him. “What are you going for anyways?”

Now Mickey was blushing, obviously a little nervous and it only made Ian want to know all the more. 

“You’re gonna fuckin laugh.” Mickey responded a little tightly.

“What? No, I won’t.” Ian lost the smile and tried to sound as serious as possible. “I’m just interested in knowing what you’re interested in.”

With that, Mickey relaxed a little, lowering his defenses. “Been taking a few art classes.” He finally answered, not meeting Ian’s eyes.

It was surprising, but not. There was no doubt that Mickey had a gift. One Ian had never actually seen him use before. But the sketches and drawings all over the house confirmed that Mickey had been doing it. 

“Anything in particular?” Ian smiled when Mickey looked a little shocked because it hadn’t been as surprising as Mickey thought. “Drawing, painting, that weird molding clay stuff?”

“Um,” Mickey started, but needed a second to get his shit together. Ian just looked happy, not shocked or surprised. “Not any one thing, more like a little of all of them. I like more than one of those and didn’t want to pick.”

“I saw some of your stuff on the walls,” Ian motioned to the hallway, letting Mickey know that he’d seen them all, including the baby one. “They are really good.”

“Thanks.” 

And then there was that awkwardness again. All because Ian mentioned the pictures and Mickey knew he knew about the baby. 

“He’s beautiful Mick.” Ian said softly. He didn’t look away, or back down when that feeling crept up again. “He looks like you.”

The silence seemed to last forever. Dinner was obviously not happening. Maybe it was just the ice breaker for all of this. Act like they could just be normal and have dinner together without bringing up the important stuff. Ian didn’t know what to expect as a response. Anger for him helping himself, or fear of what he might think of Mickey actually caring for a child conceived the way he had been. 

The baby was not the reason Ian left. Or not the only reason but it played a big part. Ian could tell Mickey was afraid right now, maybe because one of the things that forced him to go, was being cared for and loved by Mickey. It was just complicated.

“I wasn’t there when he was born.” Mickey kept his voice low and his emotions in check as much as possible. 

Ian kept quiet and listened, so Mickey continued. 

“Svetl—” Mickey stopped himself from saying her name as Ian tensed. “She had someone call and tell me they were at the hospital, but I didn’t go.”

The effort was appreciated but just because her name wasn’t spoken, didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. “You should have been there.” He replied almost like he was on autopilot with pre-recorded answers.

Mickey nodded. “I should have, but I wasn’t. I didn’t check up on them or go to appointments or do anything to help the entire time she was pregnant.”

Ian knew why, because of how he was conceived and the fallout that came after it. Mickey knew it too. Mickey hated her and Terry more than he did, if that was possible, so a baby? Where did one of those fit in? Or maybe it was Ian who didn’t fit anymore.

“My mind was busy trying to figure out how to get you back.” Mickey spoke again after Ian didn’t comment. But that got Ian to look up. “The only reason I went through with all of it, was because he threatened you.”

Ian’s eyes widened. It would be easy to call it a lie, but the way Mickey’s voice shook as he said it, proved to him that it was real. 

“After…” Mickey let the sentence die because there was only one ‘after’ that he didn’t want to talk about, and that Ian already knew what it was. “After that, when you left, when she left, he told me what would happen.” He paused to take a deep breath. “I was supposed to marry her and stop being a fag. Obviously he knew her being there wouldn’t stop me from being with you.”

The tears dripped slowly from his eyes, slow but consistent and each time Ian went to wipe them away, more replaced them. 

“I told him as much,” Mickey forced his voice to stop shaking. Terry had scared him enough in his lifetime, he wouldn’t continue to do it now. “He said he knew already and that if I didn’t do what he wanted; he would kill you.”

“Mick…” Ian cried, sitting forward in the chair to rub his eyes.

“I couldn’t let that happen. I would risk some serious shit to defy that fucker each chance I could get. I’d risk myself, my own fucking happiness; which went away when I married her,” Mickey cleared his throat. The emotions from himself and Ian crying were literally choking him. “But I wouldn’t risk you. Not even a little bit. But that didn’t matter anyway, because I did what he said and lost you anyways. So, without you, I didn’t need to keep doin that shit, he couldn’t take anything else away.”

The hand over his mouth shook as he tried to keep his heart from spilling out. He never stopped to think what could make Mickey hurt him that much, and it made sense now. All of it. Maybe if he knew before, he still would have left because no matter the reason, it fucking hurt.

“I’m sorry Mickey,” Ian managed to say around the tears and the lump in his throat. “I know none of that shit was your fault, but I hated you.” Ian wanted to puke when Mickey only smiled and nodded, like he already knew that and had made peace with it a long time ago. “I hated him, I even hated the baby because it would tie you to her, forever. No matter what, she would always be between us. Even when it wasn’t his fault.” Another deep, shaky breath that only let more tears fall. “But I can’t tell you how much I fucking hated her. She was getting what I wanted, the only real thing I’ve ever wanted.”

“I think he knew you would leave after that.” Mickey clenched his teeth. “He didn’t say it, but when he heard you were gone, he had this look.” Mickey stopped as he remembered that sinister look. One he would never forget. “I don’t know how to explain in, but he was happy. Not just about you leaving or him getting what he wanted, but because it made me fucking miserable.”

“I know the look.” Ian cringed and made Mickey tilt his head a little in question. “There is no way to fully explain if you haven’t seen it. But I have.”

“When?”

Ian blinked the tears away as he met Mickey’s watery blue eyes. “The first time when she was…” he nearly puked trying to say it. “Uh, when I had to watch that shit. I saw it.”

Mickey put his arms around himself, not caring how scared he looked because Ian already knew. 

“The second time was at the wedding. I tried to leave so I didn’t have to watch, but I knew if I didn’t see it for myself, I would try and convince myself it didn’t happen.” Ian wanted to go to Mickey, to stop this. But it was happening, and it needed to run its course. “So, I stayed and watched and the alcohol I drank nearly came back up when you kissed her. When you held her hand." A shiver took over his body, reminding him it still held power. “I felt him looking at me and looked at him and I saw that look again.”

The silence was filled with so much sadness and heartbreak. So much so that it had a taste to it, like rain. Talking about it all was just as bad as actually going through it again. They had PTSD, no doubt about it. 

“The second I found out you were gone, I took off the ring, tossed it in the nearest body of water. I looked up shit for divorce and told her I wanted nothing to do with that baby.” Mickey turned the conversation back to where it had been; on his son.

Ian nodded, grateful that Mickey tried to help by doing the wrong thing. It was the thoughts that mattered. “But he is in your life, a lot judging by the room.”

Mickey nodded. “What happened wasn’t his fault. No more than it was ours. And just because my dad is a fucking prick and hates his kids, didn’t mean I had to be the same.”

Fucked up dad’s, maybe it was turning into a thing on the South Side. Terry, Frank, both good examples of awful dad’s. 

“I divorced her, told her I wanted to be apart of his life and didn’t give her a choice.” Mickey kept going, trying to get it all out there. “Threatened to call immigration on her commie ass and she’s been listening to what I say every time I say it.”

Ian smiled, an honest to God real smile. That baby deserved a good dad, a decent chance at happiness and thanks to Mickey, he would get it. Mickey cared so much, more than anyone he’d ever met, even when he didn’t say it. 

“I’m happy for you Mick,” Ian meant every single word. “Even without meeting him, I know he’s happy.”

Mickey narrowed his eyebrows. “How could you possibly know that?”

“It’s easy.” Ian said simply. “The drawings you did show he’s happy, that you’re happy. So does his room. Everything is nice and clean, well cared for. You made sure to get him everything he needs.”

Mickey felt that lump in his throat double in size. 

This was an emotional subject and Ian could tell already that Mickey was struggling. “The kid has his own fucking bathroom." Unable to help it and it made Mickey laugh too, even if it was linked with tears. “You work hard to make money and cleaned this place up so it’s safe for him because I know how much you hate this place.”

Mickey nodded.

“I noticed that you don’t smoke in here, and you don’t keep alcohol in the house,” Ian held his hand out and without hesitation, Mickey moved away from the counter and took it. “I am happy that something good came out of all that bad shit. You’re doing so good Mickey; you’ve changed so much.” Ian kissed the back of his hand and let his head rest against it for a second as he said this last part. “I just don’t know where I fit in.”

With his free hand, Mickey softly gripped Ian’s chin and moved him up to meet his eyes. “You fit in here Ian, with me. With us.”

Us. That was all the prompting his body needed to start crying all over again. Guess maybe the army softened him up more than it hardened him. 

“Him being in my life doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to be. It just means we have to do this shit right, and slow, like you keep saying.” Mickey rubbed his thumb over Ian’s jaw. 

Ian nodded, still blinking back tears. 

“Last night you said we could build something, together.”

“I did.” Ian wiped his face.

“The let’s fuckin build it.” Mickey saw Ian smile, just a little. “No more little kid shit, no more people telling us we can’t be together. No more hiding, no more denying the shit we both knew for years.”

Ian looked up. “What shit?”

Mickey gripped Ian’s face with both hands, gaining every ounce of his attention and spoke from that place in his heart that he saved for Ian. “That I am so fucking in love with you.”

Ian hiccupped, then more of those tears that never seemed to stop. “Mickey,” He closed his eyes, letting that incredible feeling wash over him. “I want this, really fucking bad.”

Mickey nodded. “Together, right?”

Ian stood up and Mickey’s hands fell from his face to his hips, keeping him from moving unless it was closer to him. He didn’t grab at him like he wanted to, he didn’t tackle him to the ground or kiss him until they both ended up naked in his bed. He simply let their heads rest together and brought the tags around Mickey’s neck out to lay against his shirt, wrapped Mickey’s hand around them, then his own and squeezed. 

“Together.” Ian whispered. 

That promise meant more to them then any amount of sex or kissing could offer. The love they had for each other went passed words and skin and anything physical. It was embedded inside them, linking them to each other no matter what. Life proved it had the power to fuck them over if it wanted, but it didn’t break the bond, or the love they felt. Ian had a feeling that nothing on earth, or in Heaven had the power to do that.

**

The start of dinner had been a total disaster. Instead of eating and making light conversation, they decided to spill their souls on the table and dive into all that messy shit headfirst. There was frustration, sadness, a reminder of heartbreak, but then there was love, truth, promises to each other. 

The dinner Mickey cooked was eaten on the couch. They sat side by side with their shoulders touching and watched some show neither of them could remember. It was good. Normal. The air around them was less tense than it had been before and it allowed them to sit back, relax and enjoy each other.

But now the night was ending…

Ian couldn’t stifle his grin as Mickey walked him to the front door, tattooed hand linked in his own. It was sweet, something Ian learned quickly; Mickey was sweet. 

“Thank you for dinner.” Ian stopped at the door and turned to look at him.

Mickey smiled. “Anytime.”

“Don’t get too fancy with those new cooking skills though,” Ian’s grin widened. “We might have to do a throw back next time.”

Mickey’s grin matched Ian’s. “Pizza rolls or bagel bites?”

Ian tugged on his hand until Mickey was forced to come closer. “I’m greedy, so both.”

The way Mickey licked his lips made Ian wish they could go a little faster than slow. 

“Both it is.” Mickey spoke against his lips, very aware that Ian eyeing his lips. “Better go, before we skip the slow shit.”

Ian nodded, in full agreement but his body didn’t comply. It stayed where it was, demanding to get closer. “I’m good with skipping the slow shit.”

“Me too.” Mickey replied quickly and that tension thrived between them. Growing thicker every time. “Tomorrow?”

His body screamed for more, but his mind made him nod, starting a war inside of him. “Tomorrow.”

Mickey’s hand moved to Ian’s neck, where his thumb rested on his jaw. “I love you.”

Ian groaned, one more second away from going for what he wanted, what he craved. Loving Mickey was a drug. One taste and Ian was hooked, always after more. Not caring how he got it or who got hurt because of it. Willing to do anything for it.

Loving Mickey was fucking dangerous.

Without saying it back, Ian lost control just enough to kiss him. Mickey tasted like happiness. The kiss was returned instantly, full of so much need and passion that Ian couldn’t breathe as he pulled back. He wanted to live in that feeling, he wanted to drown in Mickey’s love for him. He wanted it every second of everyday of forever. 

“I love you too baby.” Ian replied, breathless as he forced himself to open the door and back peddled. “Go, before I come back in.”

Mickey looked like he was weighing the decision. His eyes never left his face and Ian stared right back at him. Both afraid and eager for Mickey to tell him to come back, to stay. Ian knew if Mickey asked, he wouldn’t be able to say no. Telling himself no was one thing, it sucked but it was easy. But if Mickey took that choice away, there was no way Ian could resist.

“Ian…” Mickey didn’t know if he was begging him to go or to stay.

“Mick please.” Ian backed up, getting away from temptation. “Goodnight.”

Mickey leaned against the door frame, panic rising up in his throat as Ian moved further away but he forced it down, knowing that Ian would be back. “Goodnight.”


	4. Repairing the Damage

You Came Back  
Chapter 4- Repairing the Damage

“Are you sure about this Fiona?” Ian asked as he stopped to rest against the back wall of the stairs. The mattress was heavy, and he wouldn’t let her help him carry it down.

“Damn right I’m sure,” Fiona sat on the counter, feet kicking back and forth. “It’s been sitting in the hallway for like a week. I was gonna make Lip and Mike toss it.”

The full size bed was in great condition. It was Lip’s old one and Ian chose not to think about how many girls Lip had on it. It still had the plastic cover over it and there were no stains he could see, not to mention it was free. He couldn’t say no to that.

Pausing long enough to ask his question and catch his breath, Ian wiped his forehead with his arm and pulled it the rest of the way down. “I guess I feel bad just taking shit.”

Fiona rolled her eyes. “I’m making you take it, there is a difference. It’s better than you shelling out the money to get new shit.”

That was a good point. Furnishing an apartment, even when it was just him, would be a little pricey. And he had an entire apartment to fill. 

He set the bed by the back door and caught the Gatorade bottle Fiona tossed at him and took a drink. “At least let me pay you for it then. It’s gonna bug me if I don’t.”

“Okay,” Fiona smiled.

Ian relaxed and reached back for his wallet when she scuffed at him. “What?”

“When did you get so gullible?” Fiona laughed. “I only take money from the people that live here. You don’t.”

Now it was his turn to scuff. 

“You can pay me back when you get that place settled and let us use the pool.” 

Ian grinned. “I think I can make that work.” He leaned against the bed, not wanting to move it down the back stairs to where his truck was. “The internet too, the playground for Liam, if Vee wants to play tennis, or Kev and Lip wanna play basketball.”

Fiona arched her eyebrows. “Damn. You have all that there?”

“Yup, and I doubt I’ll use more than the gym, the pool and the internet shit.” Ian opened the back door and didn’t fight when Fiona pushed the other side and helped him. “Won’t have time do use all the rest.”

Fiona grunted as she spoke, feeling like she wasn’t helping despite the bed moving out the door. “Ian, all you have is time.”

“Not really.” He stopped, laughed at how she sagged against the back door and bent down. It took a little wiggling, but he managed to lift the bed above his head and slowly walk to his truck. “I have to get a job Fi, living is expensive, even in the army.”

Fiona whistled when Ian tossed it into the truck bed. “I bet Mickey is enjoying the new body.”

Ian didn’t turn around until his grin was under control. Yes, Mickey did enjoy his body. But that was once, and she made it sound as if they were fucking every day. When he turned, he managed a shy smile in place of the cocky one.

“Slowly Fi, that does not mean we fuck every day.”

Fiona opened her mouth a few times, a little surprised. “When you said slow, I didn’t think you meant the sex too.”

“What else would I mean?” Ian chuckled. “Our relationship was only sex before. That’s the main thing that is gonna be slow.”

“Yeah but,” she shook her head. “Damn that sucks.”

Ian laughed.

“So, not even like once?” she asked hopeful.

“Yes, once.” He huffed but she smiled. “When I got back. But not since.”

Fiona nodded but quickly changed the subject when something he said before just clicked. “Wait, did you say a job?”

Ian walked past her and back in to get the bed frame stacked in the hallway and carried it back out. “Yes, a job. I might be here for months Fi, I need to eat and pay for stuff. That money only goes so far.”

She nodded. “Any places in mind?”

Fiona helped him carry a few more things out as they talked. Extra dishes, pots and pans, a few lamps stuffed in the closet, all his bathroom shit, the stuff he had in their shared room, what all was left. It wasn’t much, but he didn’t need much and he had nothing at the moment.

“Was trained a little in first aid,” Ian set a few boxes in the truck and turned back. “Mostly triage shit, but I got the basics. Was thinking EMT shit, fire fighter stuff.”

“That sounds promising.” Fiona smiled which made him smile too. “Don’t you have to take classes and stuff though?”

“Yeah, a few. But if I managed to ace battle ready nurse care, then this should be a snap.” Maybe it was cocky, but Ian had a good feeling about all this. “Gonna check it out and see what I need to do.”

Fiona smacked his arm as they headed back inside for the rest. “Sounds like a plan. You need anything else?”

Bedsheets and extra pillows were already stuffed into a bag, along with his clothes, or the stuff that would fit. Jeans mostly. His shoulders were far too big for the shirts he used to wear.

“I think I’m good for now. Wanna get all this unpacked and then I’ll know what’s missing.”

Ian looked around the living room. All secondhand furniture and an outdated tv, but he knew he would miss the pictures all over the house more them anything else. From baby pictures to school ones, to silly ones and holidays. He would need to see if Fiona had any extras and get a few frames to hang up, make it feel homier.

“You wanna take a few of them?” Fiona offered with a knowing smile. 

Ian shook his head. “Maybe if you have time to get extras. But I don’t wanna take these.”

“Oh, that’s what I forgot!” Fiona spoke quickly as she moved to the table. “I was up late, digging through all the shit to give you and I found these.”

She handed him a big stack of loose pictures. Ian took them with a smile, nearly teary all over again because Fiona actually dug through their gigantic set of family pictures just to give him. 

“Mostly old ones, a few from last year.” Fiona explained. “Just to give your house that family feel I know you’re gonna miss it.”

He missed it already. When he was gone, now more so because he wouldn’t be around it all the time anymore. He would miss the sounds and the clutter and knowing he wasn’t alone. But at the same time, he craved the extra space and privacy. 

“Thanks Fiona, really.” Ian smiled and kept a good grip on them, clinging to them a little.

“And I wasn’t sure if you wanted them, but there are a few at the bottom that I took without anyone noticing it.”

Fiona seemed a little unsure of it and it only made Ian even more curious as to what it was. Nothing dirty, obviously but something that no one else knew about.

It didn’t take long to find the new ones. The others were old, bent and weathered with use, from too many people handling them. The new ones were straight perfectly stacked in the back. Ian put the old ones down and looked at the new stack, aware of Fiona watching him like a hawk.

The first one was of him and Mandy before he left, hugging and laughing. It was taken a while ago but just now developed. It made him smile and hurt his heart a little. He missed Mandy, very much and would need to ask Mickey about her tonight. 

The next one was of Mickey and Mandy together. It looked to be a few months ago since Mickey didn’t seem as buff as he was now. Down at The Alibi, with beers in her hand and a big Happy Birthday Mandy sign in the back. He missed her birthday. 

Ian frowned and set those two aside and looked up at Fiona. She still smiled a little, even knowing how he must be feeling right now. He was both sad and grateful she managed to take the picture. 

The next one was just Mickey alone. He was seated at the Gallagher kitchen table with a beer in his hand and a happy smile on his face. Ian smiled, just because he was smiling. 

“One of the times he came around,” Fiona explained. “A few months after you left he came here.”

“Why?” Ian asked without looking up.

“He didn’t say, and I didn’t ask.” Fiona stood and walked to the counter. “I got up one night because I heard someone and found him sitting on the back porch.”

Ian’s heart skipped a beat. Vulnerable Mickey. So out of character for him, but loss and grief did that. You act in ways that you never knew you could. It was confusing and painful. 

“I think he just wanted to be around the house but couldn’t say it or wouldn’t. I let him in, and we had a beer.”

Ian nodded, wanting to apologize a million times for the heartache caused for both of them. “He looks happy.”

Fiona nodded. “We ended up talking about you. Nothing bad or anything but I think I told him about when you got locked out of the house when we were gone and had to sit outside and wait for us.”

Ian smiled at that. “Well it was fitting to talk about.” He glanced at the picture again and noticed Mickey wearing one of his t-shirts. It made his heart pound. Mickey had come there to be close to him, wearing one of his shirts, talking to his sister about him. It was bittersweet.

“It ended up okay and he went home after.”

“Thank you,” Ian forced himself to look away from Mickey and to her. “For looking after him.”

Fiona nodded. “Well what can I say? He has a sweet side.”

“Yes, he really does.” Ian set that picture down and noticed there was only one more. One look at Fiona and he knew what it was. He had no idea if he was ready to see it or not. His face must have given him away because Fiona gave a sad smile.

“It won’t bite Ian.”

As he glanced down, his breath caught in his chest, adding a painful pressure as the emotions started to build. It was a picture of Mickey and his son, sitting on the floor in the Gallagher living room. It was so fucking precious Ian felt the tears well up in his eyes.

Mickey sat with his back to the couch, legs spread wide with his son sitting between his legs wearing only a light blue onesie and little blue socks; it must have been during the summer, too hot for pants. They were both smiling, Mickey’s face turned to the side a little as if someone was talking to him. There were a few toys on the floor and half of Liam’s hand. 

“That was a few months ago.” Fiona smiled at the memory. “I saw Mickey at the store earlier that day, hadn’t seen him for a few months and asked him to have dinner with us.”

“It’s beautiful.” Ian didn’t look away from the picture as he replied. 

“Have you guys talked about him at all?”

Ian nodded. “A little last night. Most about when he was born and when I was gone but not much. I don’t even know his name yet.”

As much as she wanted to say it, she didn’t. “It’ll happen Ian, just keep going.”

The picture was tucked in the back, then the older ones stacked on top of it. Ian set them inside and box and carried it out to his truck. He set this one in the front seat, so they didn’t blow away. 

“Ian!!”

Ian turned at the sound of his name and saw Vee walking towards him with a tote full of stuff. He rushed to meet her and took it with a smile.

“Such a gentlemen,” Veronica smiled, then poked his bulging arm. “And strong too. Just how I like my men.”

Ian grinned but heard Kevin huff behind them. “This for me?”

“Yes, it is. Just some clothes Kev can’t wear anymore. They probably fit better than your old stuff.”

Ian set in down and pushed the clothes around. They looked bigger than his because Kevin was a bigger guy. But there was also some shoes, a few jackets, a stack of DVDs at the bottom and a DVD player.

“And this!” 

Kevin came up to them holding a rather big flat screen TV. Ian’s mouth dropped open and he had to slide the mattress over to make room. “Damn that’s big.”

Kevin smirked. “I’ve heard that before.”

Fiona and Veronica scuffed but Ian had to smile. He’d seen Kevin naked a time or two and he was packing some serious pubic inches. “You don’t need this?”

“Nope, Kev got money from a stolen lotto ticket and bought a bigger one. I was just gonna sell it but wanted to help out my favorite Gallagher.” Veronica winked at him.

Ian grinned when Fiona rolled her eyes. “Thank you Vee. I could pay you for it if you want.”

“Don’t want your money Ian,” Veronica huffed and slung her arm around his shoulders. “But I will take payment in hugs and kisses.”

Ian leaned in and placed a loud kiss on her cheek. “I can live with that. Thank you.”

“You gonna pay me with hugs and kisses too?” Kevin asked with his arms crossed. “I did have to carry that heavy ass thing out here.” 

“I have another arm.” Ian teased with a wink. He didn’t expect Kevin to actually go over and drape an arm around him though. But he leaned in a little, hugging him back. “See, enough to go around.”

“We also have a recliner for you.” Veronica lightly tapped the side of his cheek and moved away. “I hate to sound uppity, but it doesn’t match the couch and it’s pissin me off.

Ian snorted. “That’s kinda uppity Vee, but I won’t say no. Want me to pull around?”

“Yes sir, I’ll have Kev help you.”

Veronica walked away, leaving Kevin to stare at her and Ian expected him to roll his eyes and get mad for her volunteering him to help without asking, but Kevin had this fond look on his face and Ian knew he had the same one for Mickey.

“Thanks man.” Ian squeezed his waist and Kevin moved back. “Get in, I’ll even drive you around to the door.”

Kevin smiled. “Good, cuz that tv was heavy.”

Ian left Kevin to get into the truck and moved over to talk to Fiona. “Guess I’m gonna grab that and head home to unload it all. But thank you, for all of it.”

Fiona nodded and moved to hug him. “Don’t thank me because then I’ll cry, and my eyes will get puffy.”

That caused Ian to smile. “Talk later, yeah? Gonna get set up for that dinner for you guys soon.”

“Hell yes! And let me know how that job hunt goes.”

They parted and Ian didn’t even stop her from messing with his hair, then tried to straighten out his shirt. It was one of those mom things she picked up, unable to help it and really there was no point. She fussed over him for a minute and then it was over.

“I will. Love you.” Ian moved around to his side of the truck and got in. 

“Love you sweet face.” Fiona waved and headed back to the house.

They pulled around the front of the house and he parked. Veronica already had the chair on the porch and was trying to move it herself. They were both out the door before she could even bend down to grab it.

“Babe, I had it.” Kevin shook his head as they moved slowly down the steps.

Ian kept glancing back so he didn’t fall. “It’s not really heavy, just bulky”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Thank you my muscled boys, now for another hug before you go.”

Once the chair was inside, leaning against the bed but not on the tv, Ian moved back around and scooped her up for a hug, then spun her until she laughed.

“You know I’m not going anywhere, right?” Ian asked as they moved apart and Kevin hugged him.

“Yeah, I know. But you’ve been living here for 18 years Ian. Next to us for about 15 of them, we are going to miss you.” 

It was going to be a change for all of them. But a good one. It would be nice to meet them for dinner once a week or so, but they couldn’t always be together. 

“I’ll miss you guys too.” Ian smiled as he walked backwards to the truck. “See you guys soon.”

**

Setting up his apartment alone had taken up the better part of the day. Unloading it all inside, then trying to organize it the way he wanted it required a skill he didn’t have. 

It was a little plain, even with the free stuff. His bedroom had only a bed, one night stand with a lamp and one of those old alarm clocks on it. The closet was full of the clothes that still fit him, plus the ones from Kevin. 

The bathroom was emptier. Just his stuff stashed under the sink and hidden inside the shower. Step one would be buying towels and a few of those floor mats. 

The kitchen was a little better, the cupboards filled with dishes and pot and pans. No soaps for cleaning or food or anything personal yet, but it was nice and clean, big enough to actually cook in, he just needed to figure out how to cook more than microwavable food. 

The living room had the recliner from Vee, and the tv mounted on the wall with a DVD player on the ground. It looked bad, it felt bad. But it was a start and he knew what stuff he needed to get. And the stuff he wanted just because. It would take a little time, but he would get it.

About halfway through the last box, Ian’s phone started to ring from across the house. Ian tried to move quickly but he had boxes and totes all over the place and by the time he reached the kitchen counter, the phone stopped ringing.

“Shit.” He cursed and grabbed it. Missed call, but he didn’t know the number and it wasn’t programed into his phone. 

When there was no voice message left, Ian quickly dialed the number and pulled a cold beer from the fridge and waited.

“Ian?”

He nearly spit the beer back into the bottle at the sound of Mickey’s voice. He knew it was his voice, but Ian had to ask anyways. “Mick?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Ian wiped his chin and hopped onto the counter to sit down. “You have my number the whole time?”

“No, I just called Fiona to get it.”

Fiona was quickly becoming their little cheerleader. Helping, encouraging them, helping Mickey and giving out his phone number. The smallest shit made the biggest difference.

Ian grinned, happy that Mickey wanted to talk to him bad enough to call his sister first. “You are so damn cute Mick, I swear.”

“Oh stop with that shit. We both know I’m not cute.” Mickey replied playfully. “Maybe I should have waited for you to get my number.”

“You’d have given it to me tonight.” Ian said for sure and could imagine those dark eyebrows high on his head. “I can be very persuasive.”

Mickey scuffed. “Yes, I know. So, what? You gonna tease me the whole time?”

“Nope, stopping now.” Ian tried to cut it back, but the teasing came out when he was a little nervous. Having Mickey call him out of the blue made butterflies in his stomach. “So, callin me at work?”

“Yeah, had a second to spare.” Mickey replied coolly as he took off his thick gloves. “You busy?”

Ian looked around the empty apartment. There wasn’t much else he could do. “Nope, not at all. Why?”

“Wanted to see if you wanted to meet for lunch.” Mickey said a little hesitantly.

Ian moved from the counter and he was already heading to his room to change. He was sweaty and dirty from moving shit. He put Mickey on speaker as he dug around for clothes. “Kinda late for lunch Mick,” Ian’s phone said five. “More like dinner.”

The first t-shirt he saw was quickly shrugged on, as was the dark pair of jeans from Kevin. He grabbed the phone and moved into the bathroom to wash up a little.

“Fine, dinner then. I had to work through actual lunch earlier. You up for it?”

“Damn right I am.” He hit the lights in the bathroom and heard Mickey chuckle. “You able to leave or you want me to grab something along the way?” Ian was already in his truck and ready to go before Mickey answered.

“I brought lunch with me since I can’t leave, but you should grab something.”

“Okay, what area are you workin right now?” Ian pulled into the flow of traffic, trying to decide quickly what he wanted to pick up. He didn’t really care about the food part, just seeing Mickey.

“We are gutting that old theater on 3rd, I’ll meet you out front.”

Ian smiled. “Be there soon baby.” Hung up the phone, stopped at the nearest fast food place, which happened to be Subway; good thing too because he didn’t need all that junk food, then sped as fast as possible until he reached 3rd street.

Ian parked as close to the site as he could, paid the meter enough for an hour, grabbed his food and started to look for Mickey. The place was a little chaotic, a few trailers blocking the street, one too many utility trucks and one of those big dump trucks. He only caught a flash of dark hair before a crane moved in front of him.

“Watch it!!” The guy working the crane barked at him and Ian held his hands up, saying sorry as he waited for him to roll passed. 

“Damn Gallagher, try not to hurt yourself huh?” Mickey huffed as he moved around the crane.

Whatever shit he’d been thinking about that asshole crane driver went out the window as Mickey got closer. His normal good jeans were replaced with ragged one with holes in the knees and one in the back pocket, showing a dark patch of Mickey’s briefs. Next was a dirty black t-shirt with the arms cut off, giving Ian a damn good view of just how muscled they were now, tanned that light golden brown color from hours in the sun every day. 

Ian felt his jeans tighten as he looked over and over again. If this kept happening every day, Mickey looking the way he did and the tension, Ian wouldn’t be able to last much longer. 

“Mind out of the gutter Ian,” Mickey laughed, jostling Ian out of whatever fantasy he’d been conjuring up. “Do that shit here, and you’ll walk into a hole.”

Ian blinked away the dirty thoughts and positions he wanted Mickey in. “Can’t help it, fuck.” He groaned again and took a step forward. Ian wanted to kiss him, but they were out in public and he hesitated. 

“You gonna kiss me, or no?” Mickey smiled when Ian’s eyes widened.

“Hell yes.” Ian grabbed Mickey by the front of his shirt and pulled a little too hard. Their chests bumped together, pulling a deep sounding groan from Mickey and his cock fucking pulsed. 

The kiss was as rushed and heavy as it needed to be. Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey’s back, feeling how damp the shirt was from sweating in the sun. It fueled it, making him groan into the kiss as he licked along the seam of his lips.

“Seriously Milkovich?”

They pulled apart instantly to see one of the guys Mickey worked with glaring at them. Ian suddenly wished he hadn’t kissed Mickey out in the open like that, not if Mickey was gonna pull away when someone caught them. He waited for Mickey to lie, to push him away because of it. 

But he didn’t.

“The fuck do you want Johnny? I’m fucking busy here.” Mickey snapped, glaring. 

Ian watched with wide eyes, more than a little surprised at how irritated Mickey seemed. Not afraid because he’d been kissing a guy, out in the open no less. He seemed mad that they’d be interrupted.

A hardhat was shoved at Mickey. 

“You bring your boyfriend to work for lunch that’s fine, but don’t be stupid. Give him a damn hardhat.”

Ian couldn’t even move. First of all, boyfriend? Mickey had never been his boyfriend before, not like the guy was implying. Second of all, that guy didn’t give two fucks if his co-worker was gay and kissing his not boyfriend like he needed his kiss like he needed air. And third, Mickey took the hardhat with a scowl and flipped the guy off.

The world could ended right that second and Ian wouldn’t have moved an inch.

“Fuck you Johnny!” Mickey still flipped him off even when his back was turned. “And I’ll kiss him wherever the fuck I want!!”

“Holy shit.” Ian mumbled, feeling just a little dizzy. Mickey turned back to look at him, his lips turned up in a grin, fucking smirking at how shocked he was. “Did that just happen?”

Mickey nodded and shoved the hat towards him. “It did, put that shit on.”

Without being given a choice, Ian took the hard hat and put it on. Since he got back, with all the shit Mickey was surprising him with, it kinda felt like he had been on autopilot the entire time. In what world did they live in, when Mickey was okay with kissing him in public, at work and in front of someone? Ian couldn’t wrap his head around it. 

“It looks like someone zapped you with a taser.” Mickey chuckled and quickly kissed his lips. “Come on, maybe you can walk that shit off.”

Ian nodded, mind still filled with ‘was that real?’ and followed Mickey passed people working, passed cranes and equipment he couldn’t even describe and into a trailer marked 'crew'. He was so out of it that he didn’t even look at Mickey’s ass as he climbed up the stairs.

“I feel kinda sick.” Ian mumbled as he sat down and took his hat off, head between his legs as he tried to breathe. “Fuck.”

Mickey rolled a chair in front of Ian and sat down. “You okay?”

Ian looked up and Mickey was only an inch away from his face. “You don’t know how fucking weird that was.” Ian finally spoke, sounding bewildered and afraid at the same time. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that.” 

When Mickey leaned forward to kiss him, Ian melted into the touch. He leaned forward so far that his ass was barely on the seat, he had both hands on Mickey’s face. When their tongues moved together and Mickey let out that deep groan, something in his mind snapped.

“Fuck going slow.” Ian growled as he pulled back. He barely had time to see Mickey smile before he was kissing him again, moving out of his seat, choosing to kneel between his legs instead. 

Mickey welcomed it with another groan and Ian moved him to the edge of the chair. Ian’s hands smoothed up Mickey’s thighs, squeezed them and helped him link them around his hips. 

There was no controlling it anymore. At least not right now. 

Ian pulled up the back of Mickey’s dirty, sweaty shirt and slid his hands up against his skin, then raked his nails down, making Mickey pull away long enough to groan. 

“Fuck, that was sexy.” Ian growled against his jaw as he fought to keep some sort of control. Mickey was panting into his ear and his hands gripped the back of his neck. Ian whined. “Mick.”

“You’re gonna have to get used to that shit Ian,” Mickey’s breath hitched as Ian’s teeth nipped his neck. He tilted his head, giving him more room. “It’s only gonna get worse.”

“Worse?” Ian moved to Mickey’s collar bones, pulling down the shirt enough to lick over them. Mickey’s entire body started to shake. “Worse how?”

Instead of answering right away, Mickey reached down and pulled Ian’s shirt up until he could wiggle it off of him and toss it aside. “Fuck,” he groaned and ran his hands up muscled arms and firm shoulders. “I’m gonna say shit like, ‘I want you to fuck me', and ‘I want to taste you’, and you need to be ready for it.”

Ian’s eyes rolled back, imagining Mickey saying that as he was naked on his bed, thick thighs spread wide with him in between. “Fuck, fuck. Don’t say that Mick.” He begged, even as Mickey dipped his head down and started kissing along his neck. “That shit will make me come, no fucking joke.”

“And what if that’s why I want, hmm?” Mickey licked up his throat as his hand moved down over hard, hot skin until his fingers dipped into the band of his jeans. “What if I want to make you come right now?”

“Then keep it up and I will.” Ian took one of Mickey’s hands and moved it to his groin, forcing him to squeeze his cock. “You gonna get on your knees and do it?” At that, Mickey groaned and started rubbing him. 

“How about you stand up,” Mickey suggested as he nipped Ian’s bottom lip. “Workin here gave me bad knees.”

Ian stood, making Mickey back up a little. His groin was level with his mouth and he nearly came when blue eyes looked up at him. “This better? Hmm? Now your knees won’t hurt.”

A tingling feeling went up his spine when Mickey’s only response was a grateful look, that cocky smirk. Tattooed hands unbuckling his belt, ripping it clear of all five loops and hung it around his neck, then quickly popped the button on his jeans with only two fingers, gripped both sides and yanked so hard the zipper broke. 

“Oh fuck,” Ian groaned and threaded one hand into his soft hair and gripped it tight. Mickey leaned forward a little until he nuzzled him through his briefs, making the head leak steadily. “You really gonna do this?”

Before Mickey could answer, the door to the trailer was being yanked open. They both turned their head at the same time to see four guys in Orange vests and hardhats all staring at them.

Even Ian blushed at being caught. He was shirtless, with broken jeans and Mickey on his knees clearly about to fucking blow him. Ian gave a glance down to see that irritated look on Mickey’s face again.

“Don’t you fucking knock?” Mickey barked and stood up, moving right up to the door and into their faces. “I flipped the damn sign for a reason.”

A flipped sign? What the hell was that supposed to stand for? 

“Shit Mick, sorry.” Ryan put his hands up in surrender. “But you know if Johnny finds out, you’re in deep shit.”

Ian watched the others nod, eyes a little wide. He quickly buttoned his jeans, left the broken zipper and shrugged his shirt back on. 

“Seriously with that shit Ryan? We all know damn well what that flipped sign means, even Johnny’s dumbass.” Mickey huffed, using the bulk of his shoulders to seem angrier.

“Yeah, but you said that shit would never happen for you…” Ryan looked at the other who nodded. “We saw you go in but didn’t even notice the sign.”

Mickey rubbed his eyes, trying to keep away the headache forming. “Well, now you know it’s me, and what I’m about to do, so since I cover for all four of you at least once a day for this shit, get the fuck out and do the same.”

The moment was clearly over. The blow job, however mind-blowing it was about to be, wouldn’t happen. But Ian was very curious to get the details on what the hell went on around here. People using their lunch break to fuck? And it seemed as if Mickey hadn’t done it before; thank fuck; but he covered for the others a lot apparently. 

“Yeah, sure thing Mick.” Ryan gave a knowing look and all four of them moved back.

Alone again, Ian leaned against the desk and crossed his arms, trying to hide his smirk. “So, fucking at work?”

Mickey nodded as he turned and cursed when he saw Ian dressed again. “Yeah, those assholes can’t keep their dicks put away, not even until they get home.”

Ian looked down and noticed how very hard Mickey still was. “And you’ve never…?” he trailed off, meeting his eyes again before glancing back down. 

Mickey scuffed. “Nope, never. Never wanted to until now and the damn flipped sign means it's occupied and to watch the door for the project manager.”

“You’re still hard,” Ian kept looking down, unable to help it by the way Mickey’s cock was outlined by his tight jeans. “Aren’t you?”

“Fuck yeah I am and thanks to those assholes you have your fuckin clothes back on and we missed dinner.” Mickey walked closer and wiggled until he could stand between Ian’s spread legs. “You’re not?”

Ian shook his head no and wrapped his arms around Mickey’s back. “Sorry baby, they sure do ruin shit, don’t they?”

“Fuckin assholes.” Mickey muttered as he leaned close enough to talk against Ian’s lips. “Probably a good thing though, this isn’t really taking it slow.”

Ian winked. “Compared to our speed before I left, this is very slow.” His hands moved down a little until he squeezed Mickey’s ass and his cock twitched when Mickey groaned. “But I don’t think we can handle everything slow.”

When Ian squeezed again, Mickey pushed forward, trying to grind against him. So he squeezed harder, getting distracted by the way Mickey sounded and how hard he was pressed against him.

“I want you.” Mickey groaned, pushing against him again. “Like really fucking bad.”

It was almost enough to make Ian give in. He had been starved for those words for years and now Mickey was saying them, with his voice deepened by arousal and Ian wanted it. So fucking bad. 

“I want you too Mick,” Ian nuzzled his nose. “We need to speed this dating plan up a little, yeah?”

Mickey grinned. “Hell yeah, dinner at my house was date one, kissing; so first base.”

Excitement threatened to overcome him, if he let it. “I’m counting this as our second date, a little more than kissing but hardly second base. We need to fix that.”

“Please say now.” Mickey urged and moved his hands down to grip Ian’s hips. “A little more grinding and touching and we’ll get second knocked out.”

There was a loud knock at the door. “Times up Mick, put your shit up.”

Ian only squeezed him tighter. “Always bad fucking timing,” he huffed, and Mickey made a similar sound. “How about tonight, your place?”

Mickey shook his head, deflating a little as he tried to calm himself. “I’m gonna have Yev tonight.”

That made Ian stop altogether. No more ass squeezing or grinding or dirty, unfulfilled promises. Mickey just said his baby’s name, for the first time. Yev; would be with Mickey tonight, in his house, spending time with him. No sex, no grinding, or anything would happen.

“What’s wrong?” Mickey asked, noticing the stiffness in Ian’s back. “You okay?”

Ian nodded his head yes, then paused before he shook it saying no. “I didn’t know his name.” Ian finally explained and Mickey’s eyes widened a little. “You just never told me his name.”

Now Mickey shook his head and stepped back enough for them both to take a deep breathe. “I could have sworn I did.”

Ian shook his head again and clenched his fists, then shook his hands, trying to get that nervous feeling to go away. 

“Ian, we talked about him last night. I had to have said his name.”

“You didn’t, I would have remembered.” Ian grabbed the hardhat from the desk and put it on. “It’s okay Mick, it just startled me I guess.”

That awkwardness was back, all because he freaked out over Mickey’s sons name. It wasn’t a big deal or anything, it was just a name. But it felt like a big deal when he was still trying to adjust to the new life Mickey had. 

Mickey gripped Ian’s hand and pulled him closer. “I thought I said it, I’m sorry I didn’t.” When Ian went to speak, he put his finger over his lips to stop him. “His name is Yevgeny, which is a dumb ass Russian name that I refuse to say.”

Ian smiled against the finger blocking his lips.

Mickey smiled too. “So, I call him Yev. And I usually have him a few nights a week for her to work, and tonight is one of them.”

“Yevgeny is a weird ass name,” Ian chuckled, unable to help himself. Svetlana was still as stupid as she ever was. “But Yev is workable.”

“Mick!!” 

A louder knock at the door had them both groaning and moving to unlock it. Ian let Mickey go first, powering through the group of waiting people glaring at them, and Mickey never let his hand go. It made Ian smile like a fool until they made it back to where they started.

Ian was smiling when he turned around. “Got the giggles now or something? Whatcha smiling for?”

Ian lifted up their linked hands. “Just this, which I guess is a little childish but fuck, it feels good just to hold hands through a crowd of people.”

Mickey frowned and squeezed Ian’s hand tighter. “It’s not childish Ian, that shit is normal. I’m just the asshole who had a problem with it.”

This was not the direction he saw this going. Ian meant it as a good thing, hell it was making him smile and giggle like a teenage girl. And Mickey wasn’t wrong, he had been the only one who had a problem with it, but he hadn’t said it to make him feel bad.

“Baby, I didn’t mean to stir all that shit up.” Ian gripped the side of Mickey’s neck and brought him as close as possible. “It just feels amazing to touch you like that. It ffucking feels like heaven when you touch me like that. I’ll try not to make it a big deal, okay?”

Mickey shook his head. “No, make that shit a big deal, because it is. I worked my ass off to get to this, to be able to do shit like that and I like it.”

Ian’s only response was a light kiss to Mickey’s lips. “You’re doing amazing baby, I mean it.” Mickey nodded and Ian only believed him when Mickey kissed him quickly. “Whenever you have some time, just call me, hmm?”

“I’ll have time later tonight,” Mickey couldn’t help but lean in to kiss him again. “You gonna be okay at home?”

Ian grinned; he hadn’t told him about his new place yet. “I’ll be good at home, a bit lonely though,” Mickey lifted his eyebrows. “Found a place not too far from here. Oakhaven apartments, so I’ll be good. Just ya know, alone.”

“You work fast,” Mickey smirked. “Didn’t want that big house?”

The way Mickey bit his lip had Ian convinced he already knew why he didn’t buy one. Cocky fucker. It made Ian incredibly hard.

“Decided to wait,” Ian grinned back. “Didn’t want to make such a big decision like that right now.” He kissed him, bit his bottom lip until he gasped, then backed up. 

“You afraid to make big choices now Gallagher?” Mickey bit his lip, feeling it tingling still. 

“The only choice I’m gonna make soon, is deciding if I want you on your back, or your hands and knees first.” He knew his voice was deep by the way Mickey seemed to sway on his feet, in a daze. “Think about it before you call me.”

Groaning, Mickey started to back up before he climbed him like a tree. “You’re not the only one who’s greedy Gallagher,” Ian grinned. “I want both.”


	5. Flashes of Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter switches between POV's, keep an eye out

You Came Back  
Chapter 5- Flashes of Light

(Ian’s POV)

What does it mean when people say your life flashes before your eyes when you die? Is it just one long moment, made up of every single moment in your life, the good and the bad? Or is it the most important moments only, the ones that mean the most to you; family, friends, life and loves. 

Or maybe it’s the moments that lead up to the moment you were about to die. Did you see the people you love just before the last light died? 

Ian decided it was a little bit of all of that, smashed together. Or it could have been nothing. It was hard to focus when your truck was flipped upside down, glass shattered all over the ground, on your clothes and digging into your skin. It was hard to focus on anything but his vision blurring in and out, fuzzy as he looked at the upside down streetlight.

There should have been sirens blaring loudly, or people screaming or talking. But Ian couldn’t hear anything. The seat belt was tight around his body, keeping him securely in the seat, even as his arms touched the ground. It kept him from falling but only made the pounding in his head worse. It made the blood drip faster. 

How his truck ended up flipped in the middle of the road, was anyone’s guess. The last thing he remembered, was driving home from the store. Then the next, blood was dripping into his eyes and pain prickled every inch of his body.

“Sir, can you hear me?!” 

The voice was distorted, sounding like a demon in those awful B rated movies on Syfy. It took him a while, but he was able to make out what had been said, only he couldn’t answer right away. He didn’t know where that person was, but Ian managed to nod; yes, he could hear him.

“Try and stay still sir, we are gonna get you out of there.”

The tight belt across his hips made sure he stayed still. As much as it hurt to move, even just his arms, Ian lifted them and weakly tugged at the seat belt. It was tight, solid and they would probably have to cut him out of it. 

“Mickey,” Ian croaked and regretted it instantly as his throat flamed in pain. It hurt to swallow, to breathe, it even hurt to think about it. “Mickey.”

“Sir, please stay still!”

Running feet made Ian look up, seeing at least four different pair of shoes walking towards him. Wrong side up. He watched them set a stretcher down and kneel to be able to see him.

“Please call Mickey.” Ian said again, swallowing quickly to chase away the pain. He glanced around to see his phone laying on the ground with a cracked screen. He grabbed it, dropped it twice before he was able to slide it across the glass. “Please call him.” Ian begged, exhausted.

“Sir, we will have someone call him but right now, we need to get you out of there.”

Half the pain melted away at that. Just knowing someone was calling Mickey enabled him to think about himself for a moment. “What do I do?”

“Aside from the seat belt, can you move?”

Ian tested it, both arms worked but his left was starting to ache and pulse. It took longer to decide if his legs were okay, but he managed to lift them both. Then wiggled around until a sharp pain spiraled down his right side. He glanced down, seeing a big shard of glass imbedded into his skin. 

“My left arm hurts and I have glass in my right side.” His voice shook the entire time and that fuzziness increased nearly half of what it was. “My vision is blurring.”

Blood loss, shock and adrenaline would do that. Ian had been deprived of sleep, of food, forced to run in 100 degree weather, perform challenging obstacles and administer first aid all in the same time frame. But this, he was not ready for this. It hurt; he was afraid. He was bleeding out, enough to make him feel weak, shaky. 

“Okay, I know you’re scared, but work with me okay?”

Ian nodded, fighting back the urge to panic and get himself out of it. He wouldn’t know the extent of the damage until the adrenaline wore off and if he didn’t listen, something bad could happen.

“Good, here’s what we are going to do. I am going to slide under there with the stretcher, while my guy does the same on the other side.”

The paramedic seemed calm, in control. He seemed confident. His voice was deep, soothing. Even as panicked as he felt, this guy managed to keep his mind level.

“I am going to brace your neck, just in case. Then he will hold your weight while I cut that seat belt off, okay?”

His neck was fine, or it felt fine, but they needed to immobilize it, just in case it wasn’t okay. “Okay,” his voice shook, and he sucked back the sob stuck in his throat. “What should I do?”

The answer didn’t come yet and Ian looked to see them slowly wiggling inside the cab of the truck, laying on the glass as they pushed the stretcher through. It seemed impossible, but all three of them managed to occupy the same space. 

“Just keep still until we can brace your neck.” 

Ian kept still, eyes closed, and it seemed to make the dizziness fade a little. Steady hands touched his neck, folding the neck brace tight around. Panic crept up when it was in place, enabling him to move. He felt trapped because he was. The car held him, the seat kept him from moving, now the brace kept him from turning his head. It left him completely helpless. 

“Easy man, just breathe, okay?”

Just breathe. Ian followed directions from the paramedic and took a deep breath, only to hiss when that piece of glass dug in deeper. “It hurts.” He hissed and sat still.

“I know, but if I take it out now, you will bleed out, okay?”

Ian nodded, breathing as shallowly as possible and it still hurt. 

“As soon as you’re out of this truck, I will make sure they patch you up on the way to the hospital.”

The guys hand grabbed his shoulder and squeezed, a meaningful reassurance, one Ian didn’t realize he needed until it happened. Hospital. The hospital was good. They could fix him; Mickey would be there, and it would all be okay.

“If you can, and only if, grip the wheel and try to hold yourself up as much as possible. My guy will brace you and I can cut you out.”  


It was harder than it sounded. His hands were shaking harder, his vision was getting worse and unconsciousness was around the corner. Ian gripped the wheel until his arms shook violently as he held on. 

“That’s it, just hold on.”

The other guy moved alongside him, upside down but his arms reached under him and held most of his weight. Ian sagged against him and kept holding on and in a matter of seconds, the seat belt was cut, and he was slowly being lowered onto the roof of the truck and onto the stretcher.

“Easy now, just lay still. We have to strap you in, so you don’t slip off, okay?”

Laying down felt worse than hanging upside down. The blood that rushed to his head was suddenly gone, leaving him dizzy and nauseous as his body tried to even itself out. His heart beat faster as his blood tried to replenish what was gone and it had him curling to his side, without meaning to.

“Shit, he’s going into shock!!”

Ian didn’t jump at the guys loud, demanding voice. The images in front of him started to waver, blurring in and out. Hands touched him, strapped him down, moved him out of the cab of the truck but he hardly noticed. The flashing lights from the cops cars and the ambulance didn’t hurt his eyes, he still couldn’t focus on the siren, or the dozens of people walking around. 

Nothing but wave after wave of that unpleasant feeling washing over him. That and the paramedic whose voice was the only one that registered. Ian didn’t get his name or what he looked like, but he knew the guy had to be close. He could feel it.

“Get that ambulance over here now!”

All he could do was lay there and blink. Each blink and the scene in front of him changed. First the inside of the truck; blink. Then being lifted into the air; blink. Now inside an ambulance; longer blink. There was no sense of time, or location. Aside from being in an ambulance, Ian didn’t know where he was. 

How had he crashed? Did someone run into him or did he run into someone? Was that someone alive like he was, or were they dead? 

The pain in his side increased and Ian was unable to keep his scream in. It echoed in the ambulance. An oxygen mask was placed around his nose and his mouth, helping him breathe. Then there was no more pain. The glass stuck in his side had been removed by someone, that awful pain finally gone, and there was a little pinch into the meat of his arm, a shot most likely, then relief.

Mickey. Mickey’s smile appeared on the roof of the ambulance. Staring down at him like he was dressed up for dinner and not a bloody, weak mess.

He needed to be okay, for Mickey. Because of Mickey. Mickey was everything. Ian didn’t come back just to die like this. To bleed out or go into shock. He didn’t enter Mickey’s life again, just to leave him like this. He would make it, he would survive, get patched up at the hospital and Mickey would be there for him.

“Did you call him?” Ian asked and again, his voice was distorted from the mask. 

The guy in the ambulance didn’t answer him and Ian wasn’t sure if he actually said it out loud or not. Until someone touched his foot and he was able to focus enough to glance down and see his paramedic.

“I am going to call him, okay?”

Ian nodded and tears welled in his eyes. He was okay. He was alive and okay. Not bleeding out under his truck, not dying. Mickey would be there, he would be.

Whatever had been in that shot was working. The pain was gone completely. Not even his head was pounding anymore. Ian was able to lay flat against the stretcher as his feet were strapped down and a pair of scissors cut his shirt down the middle. 

The ambulance was moving, he could tell by the streetlights that flashed against the back windows. Ian let his eyes close, trying to picture Mickey the way he’d been a few hours ago. It must have worked, because the darkness that greeted him felt calm and welcoming. 

**

(Mickey’s POV)

What woke him at nearly 9 at night, wasn’t Yev. For one, he just put him down half an hour ago, after dinner and a bath, and for two, it was the sound of his cell phone ringing from the bedroom where he plugged it in. 

After a class and working two jobs, then all that exhausting parent stuff, Mickey sat on the couch with a plate of heated up dinner and ended up dozing off before he even took a bite. Life would do that to you. 

Mickey bolted up off the couch, not bothering to actually wake up first and stumbled into his room. It had to be Ian. They just saw each other a few hours ago, but he hadn’t called like he said he would because he passed out. 

Only it wasn’t Ian’s cell phone number. Mickey didn’t recognize it. He grabbed it off the nightstand and it stopped ringing. He waited for whoever it had been to leave a voice message, but they hadn’t. 

“Asshole.” Mickey grumbled and flopped down on his bed, face first with the phone still in his hand. He managed to take half a deep breath before the phone went off again. “What the fuck?” he groaned and rolled over to see the same number calling again. 

There was at least half a dozen reasons not to answer, wrong number, collection agency for his late credit card payments, or possibly the colleges accounting office, even though it was late. But something in the pit of his stomach made him answer it.

“Hello?” he asked, a little hesitant and not knowing what or who to expect. 

“Yes, am I speaking to Mickey?”

The guy using his first name instead of his last, made him sit up on the bed, suddenly not so tired. That pit in his stomach doubled. 

“Yes, this is Mickey. Who’s calling?”

“Mickey, my name is Cole Pfeiffer and I am a paramedic for Chicago PD.”

Fuck. It could have been anyone he knew. The Gallagher clan, Iggy who lived across the city, a few guys from work who used him as an emergency contact. Or Terry, but that bastard knew better. 

“Yes, what the hell is going on?” He asked and stood up to pace. Even the second in between responses was half a second too long.

“There had been an accident, I was given your number by a man named Phillip Gallagher.”

That shouldn’t have made him panic like it did. It wasn’t Ian or Mandy, or Yev in that accident, but Lip. Only he grew quite close with all of them in the last few years and he was panicking. 

“Is he alive?” Mickey stood and ditched his sweatpants for some jeans, tossed one of Ian’s old hoodies on and his boots. 

“Yes, he is alive. Someone ran a red light and flipped his vehicle. He is on route to Provident Hospital of Cook County.”

Mickey moved into the living room to grab Yev’s diaper bag and made sure he had everything he needed. “Am I allowed to see him?”

“Immediate family only for right now. Just until they get an idea about his injuries. But he was adamant that I call you, only you.”

The paramedic sounded tired, but sure of himself. He and Lip were kinda friends now, yes, but why not call Fiona? She had to be his main emergency contact, or Ian if she didn’t answer. 

“Okay, I’m on my way right now. Thanks.” Mickey didn’t catch his reply as he ended that call and called the one person that he needed right now.

It rang a few times and it made Mickey anxious. It had been a long time since they had been in contact with each other. Probably the same time that Ian left. Not a word, no calls or birthday cards, at least not after that first one. Just radio silence and he knew it was his fault.

“Hey, this is Mandy, leave a message!”

Mickey waited until the automated voice gave him a bunch of options before he was able to leave a message. “Hey Mands, it’s Mick. I know it’s been a long fucking time, but please call me. Lip was in an accident and I’m freaking the fuck out.”

When his voice cracked, Mickey realized he’d been crying the entire time and she would hear it if she listened to the message.

“Please Mandy, just call me. I need you.” He finished quickly and ended the call to wipe his face. There was about a 40% chance she would call, maybe less. She blamed him for Ian leaving and she had every right to. It was his fault and when he lost the man he loved; Mandy lost her best friend.

But Lip had been a big part of their lives and she needed to know what was going on. Even if she couldn’t make it, knowing about it was better than being kept in the dark.

Mickey couldn’t wait to see if she would call back. He needed to make another phone call; Fiona. It would take a minute to get Yev up and ready and she would need to know and meet him there.

It rang a total of three times before she answered.

“Hey Mickey, didn’t expect your call.”

Mickey blasted through all the pleasantries and went straight to business. “Fi, I just got a call about Lip being in an accident.”

“What?” 

“Yeah. One of the paramedics just called me and he is on his way to the hospital. I don’t know why they didn’t call you.” Explaining it to someone was harder to do then having someone explain it to him. 

“Mickey, that’s got to be a mistake.”

Mickey kept pacing the living room, trying not to freak out. She didn’t sound worried at all. “Fiona, they told me it was Phillip Gallagher. Now I have no idea why, but he dropped my name and—” but she cut him off.

“Mickey, Lip is right next to me. It can’t be him.”

Mickey didn’t answer and felt his heart pulse painfully. “Put him on.” He growled and sat on the arm of the couch.

“Mickey—” 

“Put him the fuck on Fiona!” he snapped, finally at his limit for bullshit. And she listened. He could hear her bitching the entire time, which he was down with, but she handed the phone over.

“Mick, what’s up?” Lip asked, worried.

The painful ache lessened at the sound of his voice. It had been a mistake. Lip was safe, the paramedic had it wrong somehow. “Sorry man, some dumbass paramedic trying to give me a damn heart attack.”

Lip laughed. “All good man, they get that shit wrong sometimes. You sure it was my name?”

“I’m damn sure man.” Mickey replied. “He said Phillip Gallagher and said you wanted to make sure it was me who got called.”

“No offense man, but you’re after my long list of family members for any type of emergency.”

Mickey already knew that. He said as much. “Look, I know and that guy fuckin scared the shit out of me.”

“Wait,” Lip paused. “Just wait a damn second.”

Mickey was back at full attention, his shoulders wound just as tight as they had been during that call. “Wait what man? They said it was you, clearly it wasn’t so—”

“Holy fuck!” Lip cursed, sounded a little panicked like Mickey had. “Mickey, we gotta get there now.”

On his feet, Mickey moved around to keep that feeling down as much as possible. “What the fuck Lip!?”

“Mick, it’s not me. It’s Ian.” Lip nearly screamed. “Ian was in that accident.”

Mickey could hear the other Gallagher’s talking at the same time, asking what the hell was going on, who it was and all that panicky shit. It was so loud; he couldn’t hear himself think.

“Lip, tell them to shut the fuck up and talk to me!” He yelled and it woke Yev up, he could hear him huffing and wiggling around.

“Shut up!” Lip yelled. “Mickey, just fucking listen to me. I have been home all fucking night and don’t even own a car.”

Mickey nodded to himself, trying to follow what he was hinting at. It couldn’t be Ian. There was no way. 

“When Ian left to join the Army, he was underage and stole my ID to get in. Do you understand?” Lip asked, voice a little strained.

Mickey sucked in a deep breath and exhaled a sob.

“His ID says Phillip Gallagher Mick, because he is me on fucking paper.”

“Oh my God…” Mickey couldn’t breathe. It was Ian. It was Ian!! All this time he had wasted after that first call and Ian was being rushed to the damn hospital. “Lip, what the fuck do I do right now?”

Yev was crying loudly at this point, yet he couldn’t move to get him. Not yet. He was literally frozen in place from this. Paralyzed by fear. Lip had to tell him what to do. 

“Calm down first of all,” Lip took a deep breath. “Then get Yev to stop crying.”

Mickey nodded, instantly trying to calm down. One hand slipped under his shirt and squeezed Ian’s dog tags. Breath after breath, he slowly calmed down enough, so his heartbeat wasn’t pounding in his ears. 

He opened the door to see Yev standing in his crib, his little hands gripping it to stay up long enough to get noticed. Mickey walked in and his cries turned into happy little mumbles.

“Hey buddy,” Mickey smiled and tried to keep all that fear from his voice. Yev would hear it and the crying would start again. “Yeah, you’re okay.”

Yev let one hand go and reached out to him. Mickey held the phone with his shoulder, hearing Lip talking to the others, and picked Yev up. 

“He good?” Lip asked.

Mickey grabbed his blanket and moved back into the living room. Yev was laying on his shoulder, one little arm wrapped halfway into his hoodie. “Yeah, he’s okay. Now what?”

Lip took a deep breath. “Now, you get your ass to that hospital, like the rest of us.” 

That was something he could do. Mickey grabbed the bag as he hung the phone up and made sure to lock the door as he left. His hands shook as he buckled Yev safely into his seat, covering his legs with the blanket. 

“He’s gonna be okay.” Mickey whispered as he stroked Yev’s cheek with his knuckle. Little blue eyes looked at him like he was right, like he believed Ian would be okay simply because he said so. 

The only reply he got from Yev, was kicking his feet as fast as he could against the back of the seat. Mickey smiled and leaned forward to kiss his head. “Yeah, I think he’s gonna be okay too. Let’s go get him.”

*

The ride took less than five minutes. It took longer to park, get Yev and his seat out of the car, grab the bag and walk inside than it did to just drive there. 

At 10, the hospital was very alive. Cars packed the parking lot and people were steadily walking in and out of the sliding glass doors of the Emergency entrance. 

When someone bumped Yev’s car seat, Mickey turned and shoved the guy a little, making the methed out asshole notice that he hit them. “Watch where the fuck you’re goin.” Mickey glared and lifted up the car seat with his son asleep inside. “You bump him again and I’ll take him out and hit you with the damn thing.”

The guy backed up quickly, hands held up. Mickey didn’t even try to scare the guy, his threat was just that, a threat. One wouldn’t hesitate to carry out if it happened again. Mickey glanced down, smiling because Yev was still asleep and moved into the building.

The waiting area was not full of pissed off Gallagher’s which meant he’d gotten there first. Mickey walked in and set Yev’s seat down on the ground as he stopped at the desk.

“Yes sir, may I help you?” the lady smiled, entirely too happy to work at a damn hospital. 

“Yeah, I got a call that a friend was in a car wreck about an hour ago. They said he was here.” Mickey drummed his fingers on the countertop as she clicked on her computer.

“What’s his name?”

Mickey nearly slipped and said Ian but caught it before it could be heard. “Phillip Gallagher.”

A few seconds felt like years as she clicked away, searching. Mickey kept glancing between Yev at his feet and the door at his back. It was just the situation, but he was feeling very exposed like this. Out of the loop, hardly any information as to what the hell really happened, alone. 

He wanted Ian. He wanted answers and company; family. Mickey wanted to get the number to Ian’s room and walk in and see him asleep on the bed, with no marks on him. Just a healthy, sleepy, dramatic redhead. 

“Yes, Phillip Gallagher was brought here in an ambulance. He has been moved up to the main building.”

Mickey nodded. Main building was good. That meant no ICU, no emergency surgery or anything that awful. “Got a room number?” He asked as he bent down and grabbed Yev’s seat.

“Head to floor 3, there will be a nurses station on your left as soon as you step off the elevator. They can tell you what room he is in.”

“Thank you.” Mickey tossed back at her, but he was already on his way through the double doors. The elevator was crowded, making him keep the car seat close to his body as they all stuffed in there together. 

On the third floor, Mickey moved passed everyone as he got off the elevator and made an immediate left and there was a nurses station. He repeated the same actions as he had three floors down; walked up to the counter, set Yev down and tried not to panic. 

“Excuse me,” Mickey spoke loudly when neither of the people behind the counter moved to help him. “I need to find Phillip Gallagher.” It got their attention and one moved over to help him. Mickey had to fight not to scream at her, or huff or cuss. 

“Yes, Phillip Gallagher was moved up here half an hour ago. Are you family?”

Mickey clenched his teeth. They always as that stupid question as if blood was the only thing that made two people family. Ian was his family more than Terry ever was, more than Iggy even. And he shared blood with him. Ian was his family. The Gallagher’s were his family.

“Yes, I’m family.” Mickey replied calmly, without giving away how irritated he was. 

“He is in room 308, but he isn’t awake yet.” 

308, finally. At least he had a damn room number. That little piece of information was enough to calm him down even more. “Thank you.” He managed a smile and picked Yev up, ready to head back to see Ian.

“Excuse me, sir?”

Mickey paused and glanced back at her. “Yeah, what?”

“You can’t bring a baby back there.” She pointed to the car seat. 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me, right?” he asked, clearly surprising her and it only pissed him off even more. “Ever hear of a one parent household? If I had someone to watch him, then I would have.”

God, was she serious? After the almost scare about Lip, to the actual fear that it was Ian, now this? Now he had to deal with her being a cunt about a sleeping baby? 

“Sir, I understand but it’s not safe for him to be back there.” She smiled as sincerely as possible. “His immune system isn’t strong enough to ward off the stuff he can contract back there.”

Mickey knew she was right and that’s why it pissed him off. All he wanted to do was make sure Ian was okay. To see him alive, to hear his heart beating, maybe he would be awake. He just wanted to see him and now he couldn’t. 

“Please,” Mickey stepped back to the counter. It nearly came out as a whisper. “I need to see him, and I don’t have anyone else.”

“Is there anyone you can call? Family? A friend to watch him?”

It wasn’t her fault this happened. She didn’t cause the wreck; she didn’t put Ian in the hospital. She was doing her job, making sure his son didn’t catch anything from being back there. But she was the only one here and it felt like her fault. 

“Can I just walk down there?” He suggested eagerly. “I don’t even have to stay, just let me see through the door that he’s alive.”

She shook her head and Mickey felt all that hard work he gained in making himself a better person, snap. Suddenly, he was that thug from the South Side again. Abrasive, volatile, dangerous. The side he tried to lock away came bursting out, aimed directly at her.

“I am going back there,” Mickey nearly growled as he set Yev next to the row of chairs behind him just in case. “I don’t give a fuck what you have to say. You can’t keep me from going back there to see him.”

She looked freaked the fuck out, eyes wide, like she was about to bolt. 

“Mickey.”

At the sound of his name, he turned as quickly as possible, hand already clenched into a fist, ready to fight. That’s who he was right now. He was that person again. Not the one he changed into for Ian. 

“What?!” He snapped before he turned to see Fiona and Lip behind him, then the rest of the clan behind them. 

They looked a little freaked out too. Liam was halfway hiding behind Carl's leg, Debbie had her hand in Fiona’s, holding tightly. Lip had the same stance as he did, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. 

“I can watch him Mickey.” Fiona stepped up slowly and tried to keep the tears in her eyes from falling.

The anger melted away as quickly as it came. Replaced by fear, by guilt. Ian was her family too and she was okay with letting him go first. “No, I can’t—”

Lip stepped up, putting one hand on Mickey’s shoulder and squeezed. “Yes, you can Mick.” He offered a smile when he saw how watery his eyes were. “We got little man, go check on him.”

The tears fell and he didn’t even try to fight it. It took him a long time to realize that crying was okay, that it was good even. Letting go enough to feel what was happening, trying to accept it. Just like it was okay for others to help him. That he didn’t have to do it alone. He was scared, terrified. Ian was hurt and this time, he cared enough to let it affect him.

This was them helping. And not just with Yev, but by being there with him, being there for him. Mickey let Fiona move and take Yev, then he leaned in a little when Lip’s arm moved around his shoulder, letting Lip support some of the tremendous weight he felt on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized to all of them but kept his eyes on Fiona. “I just need to see him, to make sure he’s not—"

Lip squeezed his shoulder again, keeping him from finishing that thought. “Don’t do that Mick,” he sighed, just as worried as the rest of them. “He’s alive, so go look and it’ll help you calm down.”

Without thinking why not, Mickey turned until he could wrap his arms around Lip’s body and actually hugged him. Hard, squeezing tightly as if that would be able to keep him together. Lip didn’t jerk away, he didn’t tell him to man up, he just hugged him back, offering the same small relief as he was. And it helped. It made him feel like crying harder, but at least he wasn’t alone.

“It’ll be okay Mick,” Lip whispered and gave him a pat on the back as they moved apart. 

Mickey wiped his face as he turned and gave Fiona a quick hug. She squeezed him back with one arm and kissed the side of his head before he moved away. Debbie and Carl offered warm smiles, hiding how scared they really were. They were braver than he was, stronger. 

“Mind if I go back?” Mickey asked the nurse lightly, this time she had a security guard standing next to her. One wrong move and he wouldn’t be able to see Ian at all.

“Yes, you can go back.”

He didn’t smile or thank her. Or apologize. Mickey simply moved passed the desk, glaring at both of them, daring them to try and stop him again. Tears in his eyes or not, he was liable to get ugly if he couldn’t see Ian. Too much time had already been wasted.

The double doors unlocked just before he grabbed the handle, he pulled one open and moved quickly down the hall. He didn’t look into the open rooms; he didn’t want to see people hurt or dying or in pain. Ian was here because he was hurt and that was just about all he could take right now. Each door passed in a flash, until the door he needed came into view and made him stop, eyes down, unable to glance into the small widow.

308; Ian’s room.

The panic he felt before seemed to triple. Mickey knew as soon as he saw Ian, he would cry. He would cry harder seeing how busted up he must be. Then more tears would come because he was alive. He had never been more ready and less ready at the same time. 

More than one deep breath was needed before he was able to grab the doorknob and slowly open it. It was dim inside; the sounds of those annoying machines were oddly calming right now. The steady beep let him know for sure that Ian was alive. The trip from the door to the edge of the bed seemed to take forever and not once had he looked up. 

“You gonna stand there like a creep?”

The tears fell instantly at Ian’s voice. The best fucking sound he’d ever heard, even if it sounded a little weak and scratchy. Mickey looked up at a blurry version of Ian.

He looked good, considering. Alive. Not as bad as he thought. There was a big bandage wrapped around part of his face, and Mickey could see the red tint of blood soaking through. A few small nicks on his face, probably from the glass. His eyes looked dark, tired and blood shot. But he had a smile on his face, one just for him. 

Mickey moved up to the side of the bed, sniffling. “Hey.”

Ian smiled and offered him his hand. “Hey baby.”

Mickey squeezed it, nothing that Ian’s other one was in a sling, being held tightly across his chest. “You okay?”

“A little sore, tired.” Ian cleared his throat. “You okay?”

Mickey shook his head and the tears kept coming. “You really scared me Ian.” His voice cracked in that really pathetic way and Ian squeezed his hand harder, pulling him closer. 

“It scared me too Mick.” Ian admitted, just as emotional as Mickey was. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

The distance was too much, he was too far away. Mickey leaned down, mindful of Ian’s other arm, and touched their heads together. Ian let out a heavy sigh from the cut on his head but didn’t tell him to move. So he didn’t. He released Ian’s hand and cupped both sides of his face.

“I love you.” He whispered as his thumbs smoothed over both of his cheekbones. “I knew I loved you before, but I really fucking love you right now.”

Ian let out a watery laugh. “Fuckin love you too Mick.” His hand moved to the back of Mickey’s neck, keeping him from moving. 

They moved together, closing that last little bit of distance until their lips pressed together. Mickey felt so much relief that instead of a groan, it came out as a sob and Ian only held his neck tighter. Ian’s lips were dry, but eager, sliding against his. 

“Please, don’t do that shit again.” Mickey begged as they paused to breathe together, to enjoy the closeness. “I felt like it was gonna have a damn heart attack.”

Ian smiled sadly. “Whatever it is I did, I’ll make sure that I don’t do it again.” With each touch, the pain hurt less and less. “I knew you’d come.”

Mickey kissed him again, and again until Ian was smiling. “I’ll always be there when you need me Ian, only next time, don’t use your brother’s name.”

Ian laughed for a moment before the pain in his side couldn’t be swayed with kisses. It fucking hurt. “Shit,” he groaned and moved his good arm to wrap around his middle, making dark eyebrows narrow in concern. “Don’t give me that look. It’s nothing.”

“Like hell.” He shook his head. “Tell me.” 

“Some glass dug into my side,” Ian tried not to remember how it felt when they took it out. It was enough to make him shiver. “Few dozen stiches, nothing I haven’t had before.”

That was true. Stiches were nothing for them. Between Terry and Frank, they had more than their fair share. But it didn’t make them hurt any less and if Ian had that many, it would leave a scar.

Mickey smiled. “At least you’ll have a sexy scar there.”

Ian scuffed. “You into scars now?”

Mickey shrugged and leaned down enough to see the scar on the edge of his hairline from then gun Terry used to hit him with. “I’m into yours.”

“Maybe when this shit heals, we can compare.” Ian offered with another smile and his eyes instantly went to the scar on Mickey’s chin. “Cuz I’m into yours too.”

“Yeah, maybe after.” He whispered as his knuckles smoothed down Ian’s cheek. When Ian closed his eyes and leaned into it, it reminded him of how late it was. “You have some crazy bastards out there waiting for you.”

“Shit,” he took a deep breath, “you have Yev too, right?”

Mickey nodded, still irritated over that damn nurse but touched that Ian’s only thought was about his son. That was another reason to cry. “Yeah, I do. They wouldn’t even let me in here with him.” 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Ian tried to sit up, but a wave of nausea washed over him and he had to keep still for a second. “You shouldn’t have had to bring him here, it’s fuckin late and hospitals are so awfu—”

Mickey shut him rambling ass up with a kiss. Letting Ian mumble the words against his lips for a split second before they were kissing deeply. Groaning and moving together. Mickey gripped Ian’s chin and tilted his face as he slowly slid his tongue alongside Ian’s.

“That’s not fair.” Ian whined against his lips, feeling that tingle from the tip of his hair to his toes. “You know my mind goes a little fuzzy when you do that.”

Mickey smirked. “Yeah, I know. But me coming here with him was on me, not you.” He gave him a look when Ian tried to argue. “I knew I probably wasn’t supposed to have him here, but you’re in the fucking hospital. Of course I was going to come.”

Ian nodded, wanting so badly to turn his face into Mickey’s chest and hide. Hide from all of it but from the way he smelled and how warm he was. “Is he okay?”

Mickey nodded and kissed Ian’s forehead. “He was asleep when I left him with Fiona, and speaking of, I should probably go,” it nearly killed him when Ian shook his head and Ian leaned against him harder. “Not like gone gone, but that bitchy chick up front won’t let us all back.”

“Okay,” Ian took a deep breath, trying to get his shit locked down. “Maybe after they leave, you can come say goodbye?”

God, he didn’t want to leave. Not for one second. He wanted to get one of those rolling beds and sleep next to Ian, hands linked until he got tired of sleeping alone and wiggle onto Ian’s bed. He wanted the nurse to yell at them and try to kick him out, even though that would never happen. 

But he couldn’t. Yev was waiting for him. It had already been a long night before all this, now it was twice as long and Yev would only be able to handle so much before he was over it.

“I can come say goodbye,” he smoothed his hands easily into Ian’s hair. “And I’ll be here in the morning to see you.” Ian was leaning into him, nearly had his head against his arm. 

“Let me go get them, then you need to get some sleep.”

“No, I need you.” Ian replied and buried his face in the crook of Mickey’s arm and breathed him down. “I just need you.”

They stayed there for a moment, just being together. Mickey let his head rest on top of Ian’s while his hands smoothed over his neck, then his shoulder. Ian seemed to like it, humming a little before nuzzling against him and it was so fucking hard to pull away.

“I love you.” Mickey smiled as he stepped away and Ian grabbed his hand, keeping contact until the last possible second.

“Love you too baby.” Ian smiled back and turned to his side, right where Mickey had been.

Mickey had to force himself out of the room, away from Ian laying down where he had been and back down the hallway to those double doors. There was no trying to rearrange his emotions, he wore them all on his sleeve as he stepped through. 

“Hey!” Fiona smiled and moved closer with Yev on her shoulder. “How is he?”

Mickey smiled and gripped the hand she offered him. “He’s good. Scared, tired. Doesn’t want me to leave.” He huffed a laugh at that last part, but it didn’t fool anyone. 

“Well, that bitchy lady said only two at a time, so I guess we go in pairs?” Fiona asked Lip as he stepped up.

Mickey relaxed as Lip moved closer to him until their arms touched. For some reason, he always felt better around him. Which was funny because before Ian left, they couldn’t stand each other. But something changed along the way, they grew as people and managed to become friends. Lip always seemed so sure of himself, so confident and maybe that’s why it felt better with him near. 

Constant control.

“Yeah, good idea. You wanna take Debbie?” Lip asked as he looked back. “She said Liam has to be 12 and I already know Debs is gonna have a hard time with this.”

Fiona nodded. “Yeah, then you can go with Carl. Liam is gonna have to wait.”

Mickey shook his head at that. That stupid policy was annoying. Yev couldn’t go back, not even asleep, now Liam had to wait because he wasn’t 12 yet. Yev might be oblivious to it all but Liam was old enough to be afraid. 

“Go ahead,” Mickey turned to Fiona and motioned to Yev. “Need to get in there before any more of that hospital policy shit.”

Fiona nodded and carefully handed Yev over with his blanket. Mickey let him settle on his chest and Yev gave an irritated huff at the lack of boobs for support. A little side to side movement helped and Yev was sleeping soundly again.

“Debs, come on. Let’s go.” Fiona smiled and offered her hand.

Lip and Mickey watched them go and moved to sit by Carl and Liam. They didn’t need to speak to talk to each other. They all felt the same way about this. Worried, scared but grateful Ian was alive. They would have to lean on each other for support, for comfort. 

Ian was out of the woods, but this was far from over. 

“Is he really okay, or are you just sayin that for Fiona?” Lip asked and couldn’t hide the smile of respect if it wasn’t true.

“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.” Mickey admitted. His arm moved slowly, rocking Yev even as he was sitting. “Bandage on his head, arm in a sling. Said he got stitches in his side. But it’s not what I had been thinking.”

Lip nodded and relaxed against the seat. “You told him not to do this shit again, right?”

Mickey smirked. “Damn right I told him. He can’t come back after all that time and get into an accident.” The words were supposed to be light and playful but the edge to his voice said something else. It let Carl and Lip in on how freaked he was.

“Family of Phillip Gallagher?”

They all looked up to see a doctor in blue scrubs coming closer, one of those cliched clipboards in his hands. Mickey and Lip stood up at the same time while Carl stayed with Liam.

“Yes, that’s us.” Lip answered.

“I saw him, but how is he, really?” Mickey pushed passed all the handshakes and smiles. “He didn’t really say if he remembered or not.”

The doctor nodded. “The hit to his head might make it hard to remember everything right now, but it’s nothing serious.”

Mickey and Lip let out and identical deep breath. 

“From what witnesses said, someone ran a red light and hit Phillip's truck just right for it to roll a few times.”

Lip’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and Mickey was grateful for it. That nausea bubbled up just imagining the truck rolling down the street with Ian inside of it.

“His injuries are minor, considering the damage of both vehicles.” He glanced down at the chart. “So far, it’s a mild concussion, a gash on his forehead about an inch long, needed a few stitches. His left arm was fractured in two places, probably from when he gripped the wheel during the accident, and a rather large shard of glass was pulled from his right side.”

“Fuck.” Mickey swallowed quickly so he didn’t throw up and felt like he was swaying on his feet.

“Easy man, just breathe.” Lip coached, making sure to take his own advice before the doctor continued.

“His arm will get another x-Ray, then a cast for 6 to 8 weeks, depending on how easy he is on it. The gash to his side required nearly two dozen stitches but it will heal on its own, just remember to change all bandages.”

Mickey nodded. It sounded like after the cast, Ian would be able to go home. That was a good thing. 

“And what about the other driver?” Lip asked, trying to move them past the details of Ian’s injuries. Mickey was looking a little too pale. “Is he going to be charged with anything?”

When the doctor gave that deep sigh, they both knew it wasn’t as clear cut as just an accident. 

“The other driver didn’t make it.” 

There was nothing to say to that. Nothing that would make it better or take the pain away. What happened to Ian was awful, but at least he was alive. The other driver wasn’t. And what scared Mickey the most, was that could have been Ian instead. 

“Uh,” Lip started but it took a second longer to get the rest out. “When is he able to leave?”

“Maybe tomorrow, depending on how he feels. And after the cast and a few more tests just to make sure.”

Mickey held his hand out and the doctor gripped it. “Thank you.”

Lip held his hand out also. “Yeah, thanks.”

The doctor turned to leave, and Mickey caught sight of a few people huddled together across the waiting room. Crying, talking in whispers. Clearly they were related to the other driver and had just lost a member of their family. 

“Fuck.” His voice cracked and he had to look away before the tears came. Not just because the guy was dead, but because that could have been him and the Gallagher’s, huddled together as they mourned Ian.

“What’s happened?” 

Lip waited for Debbie to sit back with Carl before he told her. “The doctor said Ian is fine, just banged up. But the other driver didn’t make it.”

Fiona blinked back tears and one hand came up to her mouth. “Oh God.”

They both lead her back to the others, each with a hand on her back and let her sit. Without a sling, Fiona reached up and easily took Yev from him and he let her. She clung to him like she would if Ian allowed it, she just needed that skin to skin contact. And if it helped, Mickey had no problem with it. 

“You guys okay to head back?” Mickey asked and sat down next to Liam. 

Lip nodded and Carl stood when he did. “We’ll be back soon.” He looked to Mickey, then Fiona and back again. “You got this?”

Mickey nodded quickly and offered his fist for Lip to bump. He even held out for Carl who had a worried look on his face. “Go ahead man, we’ll be here when you get back.”

Without another word, they went back to see Ian. Debbie was still crying, and Mickey softly bumped their shoulders enough for her to blink up at him before resting her head on his shoulder. “He’ll be okay.”

Debbie nodded and sniffled as she tried to stop crying. “I know, he’s strong. And he hates hospitals.”

Mickey laughed. “Yeah, he is and yes, he hates them. He’ll be back home in no time.” It was enough to get her to calm down a little, enough to where she wasn’t openly crying anymore. Fiona looked back with a smile and he offered one back.

“Mickey?”

Liam scooted over to his other side and did as Debbie had and leaned against his arm. “Yeah?”

“Is Ian okay?”

Since when did they look to him for answers? Fiona was right there, and they weren’t little kids anymore. They could ask her, yet they didn’t, and it didn’t matter how old you were when someone you love got hurt. It’s not like he was mad they asked, more like he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. 

“He will be, Liam.” He relaxed a little when Fiona nodded, telling him that it was the perfect thing to say right now. “He’s a little sore but he’s fine.”

The rest of the time passed in silence. Liam curled up next to Debbie and fell asleep, Fiona asked to feed Yev his bottle when it was time and with her eyes a little too watery, Mickey just nodded and decided to get coffee for them and Lip when he came back.

Which was only a few minutes later and he was smiling, along with Carl. Mickey handed Lip the cup and pulled him to the side. “Go okay?”

Lip nodded and took a long drink. “Went good but I can tell it’s wearing on him. He has a little pain medicine button but didn’t want to hit it.”

That wasn’t a surprise. Ian didn’t wanna be all doped up talking to his family, even when he needed it. “I’m gonna go say goodbye and push that damn button if I have to.”

Lip chuckled. “You do that. We’ll wait til you’re done, then we can all head home.”

Mickey nodded and decided to push passed all that uncomfortable emotions shit and just say what he needed. “Thank you.” He made his voice clear and Lip narrowed his eyes a little. “I know I kinda freaked out on the phone and shit, so thanks for helping me.”

Lip sighed, not out of annoyance but just because only Mickey would feel like he had to apologize for being upset. “Mick, you don’t have to do this shit with me. Yeah you freaked out, but you should have.”

Mickey shifted under his gaze. “I don’t mean thank you for just this shit either. I mean for all of it over the past few years.”

“Friends do that shit, right?” Lip smirked.

Mickey smiled and shoved him back a little. “Not sure man, never had many of those.” Lip chuckled which was what he wanted. He held his hand out and Lip took it and they moved into one of those guy hugs, only a little tighter.

Lip pulled back and lightly slapped his shoulder. “Go head, he needs to sleep.”

Mickey moved back down the hallway feeling a little better this time. The door was open a little and a nurse was coming out as he was going in. She stopped him with a soft look.

“Make it quick, visiting hours are long over and he is exhausted.” 

“You got it.” He smiled and moved to close the door. It seemed darker inside, like the lights had been dimmed even more. Ian was still laying as he was when he left, halfway curled on his side and this time his eyes were closed.

Mickey moved to the side of them bed and watched him. He seemed very much asleep, but something inside him told him he wasn’t. Just in that short time he was away, the bruises and cuts on Ian’s face seemed to have gotten worse. 

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” Ian mumbled as he opened his eyes and turned a little. “Missed you.”

The smile was instant, and he leaned down to kiss Ian’s cheek. “Missed you too. Feel okay?”

Ian shook his head. “Hurts.”

The IV bag was half empty on the pole beside him and the medicine button was next to Ian’s hand, ready for use. “That’s why they dope you up, keeps you docile and not bitchy.”

Ian laughed and regretted instantly. “Fuck, I know. I just wanted to wait.”

Well, the waiting was up. Mickey moved to sit in the chair that Lip or Fiona moved next to his bed and sat down. Ian tried to move with him, turning a little as before even when it was clear that it hurt. He leaned over and linked their hands and their heads rested together.

When Ian closed his eyes, Mickey quickly pressed the button and a few minutes later, Ian seemed to sink deeper into the bed, relaxed. “You should sleep.”

Ian squeezed his arm. “Why’d you do that?”

“Because you wouldn’t.” Mickey smiled and nuzzled his face. “Just taking care of you.”

Ian opened his eyes and smiled. “I guess that’s the upside to this. Nurse Mickey.”

It had to be the medicine making him say that shit. But it got a smile out of him anyway. “Nurse Mickey says it’s time to sleep.” His thumbs moved carefully to close Ian’s eyes. “I’ll be here when you get up.”

Ian couldn’t fight it anymore. The pain had been enough to keep him up, but without it, his body just gave in. “Promise?”

Mickey let his head rest on the hard bed rail, close enough to touch him but far enough not to smash him. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Ian breathing. “I promise.”


	6. Second Chances

You Came Back  
Chapter 6- Second Chances

Last night was awful. There was no upside at all. He fell asleep on Mickey because he had to hit that damn button, woke up half a dozen times for nurses to poke him and dick with his machines every hour or so. More x-rays, then a bulky cast that was heavy and itchy, blood tears, shitty food. 

He wasn't one to complain about very much, but he was tired. He was in pain and he was over it all. He wanted out of this hospital, he wanted Mickey and normal food with no interruptions as they slept. But that wasn't happening yet. 

On a brighter note, the last time Ian was forced to wake up, Mickey was sitting in a chair next to his bed, that hadn't been there when he fell asleep. Now nothing hurt. Nothing irritated him. Not the cast or his stitches or constant headache. He was good because Mickey was there. 

Even asleep, he looked good. Clean clothes, hair a little damp probably from a shower. A cup of cold coffee sitting beside him. But there were dark bags under his eyes from worry and no sleep. It made Ian feel bad because he was the cause of it. 

"How long has he been here?" Ian asked the nurse who walked in. 

"Since around 7 this morning when visiting hours were allowed. But I'm sure he was here before that." She smiled and quickly took his blood pressure.

Ian smiled, noting their linked hands resting on the bed. He gave a light squeeze, unable to help himself and waited to wake him up until his nurse once again left them alone. 

The door closed a little loudly and Ian watched Mickey jump a little, startling him awake. Blue eyes blinked the sleep away, then took on his surroundings and Ian felt his heart seize tightly when Mickey glanced at him, that beautiful smile already in place.

"Hey." Mickey said softly, leaning forward to stretch a little.

"Hey," Ian replied, smiling back at him. "You didn't have to come so early."

Mickey shook his head, leaning forward on the bed. "I told you I'd be here when you got up."

Ian swore everyone down the hall could hear his heart beating out of his chest. "Yeah, you did. Thank you." He squeezed their hands and turned to his side as much as possible. "Don't you have class and work?"

"No class today, surprisingly and I called out of work at the shop this morning." Mickey paused to kiss Ian's hand. "But I do need to work tonight, couldn't get out of it."

"Mick, you didn't need to do that." Ian pulled Mickey's hand closer, nearly tucking it under his chin. "I would have been fine."

Mickey nodded. "Yeah, I know. But I wouldn't have been." He leaned forward until his head was pressed against Ian's. "I could barely sleep last night, thinkin about you in here. I'd have been here earlier if they'd have let me in."

Ian smiled. "Thank you." He moved his head to the side, bumping their noses before their lips softly pressed together. "I love you."

Mickey let go of Ian's hand to cup his face. "Love you too."

The kiss was unrushed. Ian let Mickey lead, following his every move. If he tilted his head, Ian did too. He even waited for Mickey to lick along the seam of his hips before letting his tongue slide together with his. Ian moved his hand to Mickey's neck, pulling him halfway over the bed.

"I needed that." Mickey breathed heavily as he smiled and kissed over Ian's face. "Like really fucking bad."

Ian grinned. "Me too baby, me too."

"So," he started and sat back. "They say when you could get the fuck out of here?"

Ian nodded, holding up his heavy new cast. "They said they were running a few more years this morning but I should be out soon."

"You're gonna stay with me." Mickey said matter of fact.

"No, I'm gonna go home. I can't just lay around your house while you're at work." Ian shook his head. "And it's not like my leg is broken, I can still do shit."

"I don't want you by yourself." Mickey made sure Ian heard all the emotion in his voice instead of hiding it. "I bet the doctor told you that."

Ian looked away then because Mickey was right. The doctor did tell him it was a good idea to have someone with him, just in case. "Even if I did stay at your house, I'd still be alone. You have work and school."

Mickey looked away this time. "But I'd be there at night."

Ian smiled. "Yeah, you would. And I could come stay the night if it made you feel better about this. But that means I can be at home during the day."

"Ian, please." Mickey stood up, quickly kissing him until Ian's head was against his pillow. "Concussions are a bitch, they're tricky. It's gonna freak me out if you're there for 12 hours without anyone to check on you."

Ian nodded, his good hand sliding up to tangle in Mickey's hair. "And if I said yes, you can't just blow off work and school until I'm well enough to be alone."

"I have saved up vacation days and they do school online in emergencies." Mickey argued, not willing to give up so easily. "And now you don't have a car in case something happens."

That's right, his got flipped like a damn pancake. Instead of answering, Ian just looked at him. The darkness around his eyes, the worry lines on his face, the smile from yesterday was nowhere to be seen. Mickey was worried, really worried. How could he say no when that's something Ian always wanted, for Mickey to care enough to worry. 

"Why don't we just wait for the doctor." Ian said finally and held his hand up when Mickey went to argue. "If he says I can't be alone, we can take it one day at a time."

Mickey smiled, leaning down to kiss him. "Thank you," he kissed him again, not wanting to pull away. "Thank you."

Ian kept him close, kissing him this time. "No need to thank me baby." They kissed again, something deeper than those first ones. Ian groaned, feeling Mickey's hand on his chest, the other on his face. "Mickey…"

"Yeah?" Mickey asked, distracted as he kissed slowly across Ian's jaw. 

"Get up here with me." He moaned, tilting his head to give Mickey more room. "Please. I need you closer."

Mickey stopped kissing to pull away. "I won't fit and both your sides are hurt."

Ian grumbled because he was right. Even having Mickey lean over him easily, it put pressure on his cast. "Sit on top of me then." He smiled when Mickey groaned. "I'll be fine."

"No, no." Mickey pulled away, no longer leaning over him but standing by the bed. "That's gonna have to wait until later."

Ian huffed, trying to hide the pain as best he could but knew Mickey saw it. "Like this afternoon?" He turned a little more, only to move back and turn to the other side. "Fuck, I hate this place."

Mickey frowned, moving forward. "Just sit still before you pull your stitches."

"Let go of me Lip!!"

They both turned to the sound of someone yelling just outside the door and whoever it was, as yelling at his brother. Ian sat up, his heart beating alarmingly fast for some reason. Mickey moved closer to the bed, like he was about to block the bed with his body. They were both being ridiculous. 

"Mandy, you can't just barge in there!!" Lip yelled back.

Ian's breath caught in his chest, making the machines beep loudly beside him. Mandy was out there. Mandy!! Ian smiled, feeling tears prickle his eyes and turned to see Mickey. He was stark still. Eyes wide, teary just like his and he realized that maybe Mandy wasn't around anymore, if she was, Mickey wouldn't look like he was about to lose it.

"Fuck off Gallagher! I'm going in." Mandy screamed and pushed open the door. 

Ian felt the tears fall even as he smiled at her. She was so beautiful, dark hair and wild eyes, just a dash of crazy in that look. But her scowl disappear when their eyes met, hers filled with tears as well and the guilt was enough to swallow him.

"Ian…" Mandy started but there was too much emotion and she had to stop. 

"Mandy, I'm so sorry." Ian blurted, knowing it was half garbled from his tears. "I didn't know what else to do."

Mandy rushed forward, taking Ian in a big hug, arms wrapped around his neck. "Oh honey, it's not your fault. I know why you left."

Ian squeezed her as hard as he could with one arm, his face buried in her dark hair as they both cried. He could hear Mandy crying, he could feel her body shaking and his was too. It didn't matter how hard they held each other, the tremors wouldn't let up.

"You scared the shit out of me." Mandy pulled back, knocking their heads together as she cupped his face. "I thought I lost you before I had you back."

Ian smiled a sad smile when she wiped the tears away. "I didn't mean to scare anyone Mandy. It just happened. Who told you?"

"Lip called, told me what happened and I rushed here as fast as possible." Mandy leaned in to kiss his lips quickly, making them both smile at the familiar gesture. 

Ian had enough room to look over and was a little shocked that Mickey was still where he had been, standing silently beside the bed, eyes cast downwards. It took him less than a second to realize that Mandy never even acknowledge him. 

"Baby?" Ian spoke softly, casted hand held out to lightly brush over his arm. "You guys wanna tell me what happened?" He glanced at Mandy who looked away. 

Mickey backed away, wiping his face, avoiding their eyes. "Uh, after you left, after I chased you away, Mandy called me out on it."

Ian raised his eyebrows, looking from Mickey's distraught face to Mandy's guilty one. 

"She called me a coward, a piece of shit, she said that you deserved better." Mickey paused to take a deep breath, not at all hiding when the tears began to fall. "She said that she hated me for making you leave and that I wasn't her brother any more."

Ian sat up, pissed off at Mandy, not Mickey. He hissed a little as he reached over and pulled Mickey to stand between where his legs dangled off the bed. His entire body was shaking, he was crying hard enough that he had to gasp for breath and wouldn't hug him back.

"Mandy, what the fuck?" Ian snapped, making them both flinch. He pulled Mickey against his chest with one hand tangled in his hair and hugged him close. "Why would you do that?"

Mandy looked down, ashamed. "Because he hurt you Ian. He hurt you bad enough to make you leave."

Ian scuffed at her. He held Mickey tighter, kissing over his temple. "A lot of people hurt me Mandy." He glanced back and she wouldn't meet his eyes. "Yes, he hurt me. But so did my family, my friends." He narrowed his eyes. "Knowing that you said that to your own brother hurts me Mandy."

"Ian, it's okay." Mickey spoke up, clearing his throat and tried to pull away but he didn't want to hurt him. "She was right. I hurt you the most. I chased you away, or didn't stop you when I could have."

Ian shook his head but Mickey kept talking.

"You do deserve better, I was a coward and a piece of shit. I know why she hates me because I hate me too." Mickey hated that that last part came out as a sob instead of the firm tone he was going for. "I can't change what I did or how it happened, but I'm trying to be better."

Ian glanced at Mandy to see her crying too, worse than before. Her make up was running down her face. This was a clusterfuck of a mess and he and Mickey caused it. Mandy made it worse, and now they were all a mess. 

"Baby," Ian waited until Mickey looked at him and wiped the tears away as he kissed him. "What happened was on both of us, and a few other people that I don't even want to mention. We were kids who didn't know any better and we did the best we thought we could."

Mickey closed his eyes, his hands gripping Ian's hospital gown. 

"We know why it happened and no, we can't change it. But I never want to hear that shit again," he glared at Mandy and she seemed to shrink away. "From either of you. I didn't come back to fight the entire time or talk about shit we can't change."

"Why come back then?" Mandy asked, still not meeting his eyes. 

"Because I love him Mandy." Ian whispered, not looking at her but at Mickey, making sure he knew it. "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you baby. And I don't think I ever will, no matter what bad shit happens."

Mickey smiled, still upset but not totally destroyed. 

"And Mandy, if you haven't been around, you don't know how much he's changed from who he was." Ian kept his hurt arm around Mickey's waist but held his other hand out, happy when she gripped it. "He's not the same person he was and neither am I. And I hope that you aren't either."

Mandy shook her head. 

"We only get so many chances at this shit. We can't fuck it up this time, or be afraid to say what we need to when we need to say it." Ian squeezed both of them, pausing to kiss under Mickey's ear after whispering how much he loved him. "So, I'm calling this a fresh start and whoever isn't okay with that needs to leave." He glanced at Mandy, knowing where Mickey stood.

"I want that Ian," Mandy squeezed his hand. "I really do. And Mick…"

Mickey shook his head but Ian's grip tightened and this is what happened with a fresh start. They apologize and you forgive and move on. 

"I'm sorry Mickey." Mandy moved around the bed, eyes hopeful. "I shouldn't have been so harsh and I hope you know that I'll always love you."

Mickey and Ian both looked a little shocked and that proved that Mandy had changed, just like they had because she never said shit like that before. 

Ian smiled and glanced to Mickey who looked unsure. "Mick?"

Mickey looked up. 

"What do you wanna do?" Ian asked and smoothed his hair back. "It's okay."

"I deserved worse." Mickey whispered, more to himself but knew they heard him. "I'd rather just forget about it."

Mandy nodded. "I missed you Mick."

Ian let go as Mickey moved towards her. He was aware that Mickey never accepted her apology, just asked to forget it which was not the same. He knew they both knew it too, but maybe it was better left forgotten for now.

"Missed you too Mandy." Mickey managed a small smile and pulled her into a hug. The crying started as soon as she hugged him back. 

Ian took that time to settle back into bed, a little more sore then he had been before he moved but it was worth it. They seemed okay, for now. He was okay and they were all together again. Their comeback wouldn't be instant, but they were on the right track to begin to heal and move on. 

"I think Lip is mad at me." Mandy moved back when Mickey did, choosing to stand on Ian's other side. "I didn't expect him to be here when I showed up."

Ian chuckled, wincing as he grabbed his side but the pain eased the second Mickey touched him, putting an arm around his neck. "I'm surprised you thought he would leave. But if he called, you had to know he might be here."

Mandy shrugged. "I guess I was hoping he wasn't. Do they know when you're gonna get outta here?"

Ian shook his head, tilting it to lean against the side of Mickey's. "Not yet, waiting for the doctor to come back and let me know."

"Well, if they let you out, you better be staying at the house or with your family. You need someone there."

Mickey laughed and Ian just shook his head. "That's exactly what we were trying to talk about before you came in. Mickey wants to skip class and work to babysit me."

Mickey lightly pulled Ian's hair. "You need someone there Ian. You know that's how shit works and you're just being stubborn."

"He's right Ian. But skipping work and shit isn't smart either."

Mickey rolled his eyes. "What about the Gallagher house then?"

Ian shook his head to that. "No. If I'm supposed to rest and shit, it won't happen there."

"Do you have a place of your own?" Mandy asked out of curiosity.

"Yeah, just got the damn thing yesterday morning when all this shit happened." He shook his head, remembering all the shit he bought that had been in the back of his truck when he crashed. "Why?"

"Well, if you don't wanna go home or have Mick miss work, maybe I could stay with you until you're in the clear."

Ian smiled, glancing up at Mickey. "At my house or his?"

She shrugged. "Either I suppose. But if he's gonna be home at night then you won't need me so it might be easier at his place."

It would make no sense to go back to his apartment with Mandy, then go all the way to Mickey's house at night, just to go back home that morning. That was just creating more stress and a shit load of moving around.

"She's right Ian." Mickey spoke up, massaging the top of his head softly. "It'll suck being cooped up for a few days but it's better than moving all around."

Ian sighed, nodding his agreement. "Are you okay with that?"

Mickey nodded, smiling just to make him believe it. "It'll only be for a few hours until I get back. But I'm off the rest of today, so I get you tonight if they let you out."

His body thrummed with excitement about being alone with Mickey again. Even if he was hurt and they would probably be exhausted, he wanted that alone time. It would probably just be them watching shitty tv and sleeping but right now, that's all he wanted. 

"Then I could be there until he gets back." Mandy added with a smile.

"I guess it's settled then." Ian smiled up at him, bumping their noses in a way that made his heart flutter. "I can't wait to get back." 

Mickey smiled back and bent down. "Me too," he kissed him, smoothing back his hair. "Hopefully it'll be soon."

**

Seven long, awful, doctor interrupted hours later and he was free to go. He was sore, his arm was in a cast while tape and stitches held his side together, he was hungry and tired and a little cranky at the nurses, but he was going home. 

At the moment, he was dressed in sweats and a jacket, his side had been too sore for him to slip into a shirt, seated in a wheelchair with Mandy pushing him as Mickey went for the car. It was almost dark out and of course it was raining because no one left the hospital when the sun was out, it had the wrong feel to it. 

"There he is." Mandy pointed to Mickey's car and pushed the chair closer. 

Ian's mood lifted as Mickey parked and instantly got out and opened the door, ready for him. "Good thing I'm too doped up to freak out about gettin in another car."

Mickey frowned. "I hadn't thought of that. But I'll go slow."

Ian nodded and stood, leaning onto Mickey, not because he needed it but because he wanted to. It allowed for half a hug and a series of quick kisses across Mickey's neck and ear. "I trust you baby. Just not anyone else driving."

Mandy put Ian's bag in the back seat, hovering in case they needed something. 

Mickey chuckled and helped Ian inside. He bent down to kiss him quickly. "Don't worry, I'll get us there safe."

Ian groaned a little, pulling Mickey back for another kiss, a deeper one. One where Mickey gasped against his lips, opening his mouth so easily. 

"Let's go then, because I need more of those." Ian whispered as Mickey pulled back, he rolled down the window to watch the awkward goodbye.

He shut the door, grinning and turned back to Mandy and his smile dimmed a little. "I gotta leave by seven tomorrow."

Mandy nodded. "I'll be there."

Ian held his hand out and Mandy took it as Mickey moved to the drivers side. "It's really good to see you Mandy."

She smiled and leaned down to kiss his head. "We have plenty of time to catch up tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too." Ian replied easily as Mickey pulled away and he tried his best to relax as they drove. 

It was as easy going as it could have been. Traffic wasn't so bad and they were only 15 minutes from Mickey's house. It passed by quickly, with their hands linked together and before he knew it, Mickey was pulling up to the house. 

"See? Easy." Mickey smiled and kissed the back of Ian's hand.

Ian smiled as he opened the door and watched Mickey run around the car to help him. "Baby, I said I was fine." He shut the door but didn't pull away when Mickey put an arm around his waist. 

"I know but it makes me feel better to help." Mickey unlocked the door and had to move for Ian to go in. "Nurse Mickey remember?"

Ian chuckled and pulled Mickey in after him until he nearly crashed into his chest. "I remember and I'm fine if you want to help because it helps you."

"It does." Mickey tilted his head up for a kiss. "So, what's first? Food or sleep or a shower?"

Ian groaned at all three of those choices. "I want them all." 

He went willingly when Mickey walked them to the couch. He sat down, waited until Mickey pulled his shoes off and grabbed him before he could move. Mickey was on his lap, as still as possible. 

"Ian…" Mickey waneed, afraid to move.

Ian grinned, wrapping his bad arm around his waist while the other one gripped the side of his neck, pulling him down. "I'm fine as long as you don't move too much."

"You just got in a damn car accident Ian, you gotta be sore all over." Mickey didn't even know what to do with his hands. "We can't do this."

Ian nodded. "Yes, we can. Now, kiss me and the pain will go away." He insisted as he licked his lips, watching blue eyes follow. "Come on baby, I need it."

There was no way Mickey could say no and Ian knew it. Mickey gave him a warning look which had Ian's heart pounding wildly, but he bent down the rest of the way and kissed him. Tattooed hands gripped his jaw, pulled at his hair until the kiss deepened. 

His body hurt something awful, but the kiss was worth it. Being able to feel that pain made it worth it. That crash could have ended up so much worse for him. He could've died. No more Mickey and his kisses, no more second chances. No more life. Nothing. 

"Take your shirt off." Ian groaned as he pulled back. "Wanna feel your skin."

Mickey quickly pulled it over his head and helped Ian wiggle out of his jacket until their bare chests pushed together and they let out an identical groan. 

"No more going slow." Ian mumbled against Mickey's chest, kissing every inch he could find as his hand moved across his back. "I need it all now baby, no more waiting. No more wasting time."

Mickey nodded, eyes closed. He kissed over Ian's hair, smoothing it back over and over again. "I could have lost you." He whispered and the rest got caught in his throat as the reality washed over him. "I can't lose you again Ian. I won't make it again."

Ian put his face in Mickey's neck and breathed him in, squeezing as tightly as he could. "I'm not going anywhere baby, not like that." He didn't say he would never leave because it would be a lie. Deployment hung heavy over them, reminding him that he would have to physically leave at some point. "As long as you want me, I'll be here."

Mickey pulled back, making sure their eyes were locked on each other before he spoke. "I'll always want you Ian. You never have to worry about that."

He let out a deep breath, surprised by how much he needed to hear that right now. "Can we skip the shower and food and just lay down?" He looked towards the bedroom, vividly remembering the last time they were in there. "I just want to sleep with you. I'm tired and freaked out and I need you."

Mickey carefully got up and helped Ian stand. "Come on, we can do the rest later."

Ian smiled and followed Mickey into his room, happy the sheets never got changed. Mickey smiled and Ian knew he was thinking the same thing. 

Mickey kicked off his shoes and his jeans and Ian didn't fight it when Mickey helped him out of his sweats and helped him into bed. He had to lay on his good side, which meant his cast was in the way, making it so Mickey couldn't get close enough.

"I hate this." Ian whined, getting overly upset about such a little thing.

Mickey smiled sadly, got up and moved around to the other side. "Looks like you're the little spoon this time." He wiggled in, one of his arms moving under Ian's neck while the other pulled the sheets over them and rested on his hip and their legs tangled together. 

Ian sank deeply into the bed, linking his hand with Mickey's and turned a little as Mickey kissed over his neck. "I can be the little spoon. This feels amazing."

Mickey smiled as he laid down, shutting his eyes as Ian leaned against him, making it far too easy to fall asleep. "Love you." 

Ian was already half asleep when he heard it but he squeezed their hands and kissed the back of Mickey's. "Love you baby."


	7. Recovery

You Came Back  
Chapter 7- Recovery

As much as he didn't want to get up, as much as he wanted to stay in bed with Mickey curled around his back, he had to move. 

It was still dark outside. Ian could see darkness between a crack in the curtains of Mickey's bedroom. It had to be late, or early enough not to be awake, but he couldn't lay down a moment longer. 

The pain meds the hospital gave him had long since worn off sometime as they slept. Making him feel every single shard of glass that bit into his skin, he felt the broken bones under his cast and his head was throbbing hard enough to make him sick. 

"Mick." Ian grumbled, surprised at how deep and rough his voice sounded. He looked back as much as possible, but moving made everything blur out of focus. "Baby?"

Mickey bolted up, blinking quickly as he remembered where he was, that Ian was with him. He probably hurt him as he moved so fast. "Shit, you okay?"

Ian nodded, smiling. "Think you can grab my meds?" He asked as he rolled into Mickey's body. "Shit wore off and it fuckin hurts."

"Yeah, I'll get them." Mickey pulled the blankets off and was out the bedroom door before he was fully awake. 

Ian tried his best to move. Aside from the pain, which was everywhere, he was also stiff from laying in one spot for too long. The most he could do was turn enough for his feet to dangle off the bed and slowly sat up. 

"Shiit." Ian hissed. His head hung between his shoulders as the room stopped spinning. 

"Here." Mickey said as he came back into the room and knelt between Ian's legs. 

Ian looked up and even with the pain, he still smiled. Mickey saw it, knew it and smiled back. When he held the pills out, Ian opened his hand and took them and the bottle of water. "Thank you."

"Feel like shit?" Mickey asked while he rubbed one of Ian's knees. 

"Stiff, sore," Ian rattled off a few of his vices "Didn't want to move but it was making me nauseous." He moved his hand on top of Mickey's, just as Mickey pushed their heads together. "Sorry."

"You're fine." Mickey assured with a tired smile. "Wanna try some food since we are up? Or a shower?"

When Ian's stomach gave a loud growl, they both laughed. "I guess that's a yes. Too late to cook or to order out."

"I can see what I got in there that requires minimal effort." Mickey glanced down. "But we might need to put some clothes on."

Ian also glanced down, only just remembering that they slipped into bed naked and woke up that same way. That meant Mickey walked through his house naked, he was kneeling in front of him naked. 

"Yeah, clothes might help before we have a problem." Ian smirked when Mickey's eyes stayed down. He tipped his chin up with two fingers. "If we try that before the meds kick in, I'll probably have a stroke."

"Do not even joke about that shit Ian." Mickey warned and moved around the bed to find both pairs of boxers. He pulled on one, then walked back around. "I'm sure if we aren't careful, anything could happen."

Ian nodded, he didn't even want to risk anything bad happening. That included just thinking about them. He bent down, reaching for the boxers to slip his legs through, but hissed and pulled back, holding his side. 

"Let me help." Mickey knelt back down and spread them wide as Ian lifted his legs and slipped them through. "At least until those meds kick in."

Ian let him work them up his thighs until he helped him stand, making sure he didn't fall as he wobbled, then he could pull them the rest of the way up. "They need to kick in fast."

Mickey agreed but he was only half paying attention as he eyed Ian's side. "We might need to change those after that shower."

The wetness of the bandages brushed against his skin. "Yeah, but I have no idea if I'm allowed to take one with the stitches being so fresh."

"Let's check the discharge papers." Mickey put Ian's good arm over his shoulder as he lightly gripped his bad side. "It's gonna be a rough walk to the couch, but food is closer."

"Fuck." Ian hissed with every painful step away from the bed. Every step felt worse than the last, his shoulders gathered sweat between them, as did his hairline; dampening his hair. Mickey struggled to keep him upright but it was hard when he couldn't even touch him without hurting him. 

"Fuck is right." Mickey groaned and helped Ian sit on the couch. He wiped his face and stood as his back popped. "What the hell do they feed you in the army?"

Ian laughed, which he regretted instantly as pain shot down his body. "Bread and water and no sleep. Gunpowder too but it has a bad aftertaste."

"Smartass." Mickey smiled as he scratched his nails against Ian's scalp and kissed his temple. "Papers are next to you. See about the shower shit while I make food."

Ian grabbed the papers with his good hand and slowly read through the do's and don't's of his aftercare shit. Drink water, plenty of sleep, limited movement, change the bandages, take medication…. Do not get wet. 

"No showers." Ian huffed as he tossed the papers aside. He could see Mickey moving around the kitchen, opening cabinets and clanking silverware. "Can't get it wet."

"Guess a bath is out too." Mickey yelled with his head inside the refrigerator. "Did it say anything else?"

Ian glanced into the kitchen just as Mickey bent down. Hurt or not, Ian loved it. "Did what say anything else?" He asked, distracted. 

Mickey turned, glaring until he saw Ian's head tilted. "The papers Gallagher. Eyes up."

"I like your ass just as much as the rest of you." Ian winked when Mickey flipped him off and went back to what he'd been doing. "And it said sponge bath, like I'm two years old."

A few minutes later, Mickey returned to the living room, two plates of the leftovers he made Ian the night before and two beers. Mickey set it down on the table in front of them, moved the papers and took his seat. 

"In case you forgot," Mickey smirked as he eyed the directions. "I'm a pro at giving baths to two and under."

Ian fucking grinned, leaning over to kissed his cheek. "I guess I did forget. That mean you're gonna help me?" He asked cheekily, unable to help himself. 

Mickey handed Ian one plate with a fork stabbed in the middle of it. "I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to do the majority of it, so yeah, I'm gonna help."

The meds were working. Ian no longer felt the aches and pains, or the stiffness. He felt fuzzy, he felt good. "Maybe we should risk the shower?" Ian asked, eyes on Mickey's thighs. "I'm not really in the mood for a sponge bath."

Mickey grinned around the mouthful of food before he chased it with beer. "And what would we risk the shower for, hmm? Or are those the meds talkin?"

Ian set his half empty plate back on the table and moved closer to him, his arm moving around Mickey's shoulders. "Oh, the meds definitely help baby, but I like the shower better because you'll be naked with me."

Mickey suppressed the shiver that tried to work its way up his spine. He set his plate down just as Ian moved into his neck, nuzzling it. "Ian, it's tempting," he swallowed the moan down. "But we shouldn't just yet."

Ian hummed into his neck, unwilling to stop kissing him until he reached his ear and Mickey shuddered. "We can make it work, right? Maybe you can ride me, hmm?"

Without meaning to, Mickey gripped Ian's thigh, squeezing hard enough to make him gasp. "Too much movement, it'll pop the stitches."

Ian moved Mickey's hand from his thigh up to his groin, arching up as he pushed his hand down against his cock. "You gonna fuck me hard enough to pop stitches baby? Fuuuck," Ian groaned into his ear, "I can't wait."

"Shit, shit." Mickey moved his hand, gripped Ian's jaw and kissed him until he couldn't breathe. "No fucking. No sex. Not even on your meds."

Ian whined, his own hand taking the place of the one Mickey moved. He pushed his palm down hard, his hips pushing up into it. "But I don't feel the pain right now baby. I feel good, please?"

Mickey had a feeling if he didn't say yes to something, that Ian would be content to sit next to him and jerk off until he came or he gave in and agreed. "No shower." He finally replied, then put his hand over Ian's, slowing it. "Maybe we can find something less exerting to do."

Ian grinned, taking his hand away to grip Mickey's chin. "Can we do it now?"

"No." Mickey got up and disposed of their plates before he leaned down to help Ian stand. "Let's try this sponge bath shit first, then see how you feel."

The entire way back to the bedroom, Ian had his face buried in Mickey's neck, sucking sexy pink marks under his chin, bite marks just under his ear. Making him whimper. 

"Lay back down." Mickey took a deep breath when Ian moved. "And no fuckin around while I get that shit ready."

Ian happily laid back down, one hand instantly moving across his hips, shivering at the light touch as Mickey moved around the room. "I have a feeling I won't make it passed this sponge bath."

Mickey returned with a bucket filled with hot water, two towels and one of Yev's brand new silky rags. "This is not an excuse for me to jerk you off."

"Fuck," Ian moaned, dangerously close to slipping his hand down his boxers. "No, but I'm pretty sure nurses are required to wash everywhere."

Mickey's eyebrows shot way up as he knelt by the bed. "They better not be washin you like that or we're gonna have a problem."

Ian smirked. "Come on now. Wanna get to the good stuff after."

Mickey nodded, but made no move to undress him or start washing. Ian watched blue eyes dart around the room, as if looking for a clue. Mickey was nervous, which was so fucking cute. 

"Baby?" Ian reached out, touching his cheek until Mickey looked at him. "You still wanna help?"

Mickey licked his lips. "Just not sure where I should start."

"Maybe the bandages?" Ian offered with a happy smile. "Or I can do it if you want."

"I got it." Mickey assured him and started to peel the tape back that held the bandages. "I guess this is a little different then a kids bath time."

"I have a feeling it'll be very different." Ian kept stroking Mickey's cheek, not reacting when the bandages were removed, nearly dripping with blood as Mickey set them in the trash can. "But you have a soft touch Mickey. I'll be fine."

Hissing a little as he got a good look at the dark stitches against pale skin, Mickey tried not to let it bother him too much. "Fuck, that looks like it hurts."

The worry was clear on Mickey's face. Ian knew it was bad, but he was grateful he didn't feel the pain at the moment. It was too distracting. 

"I don't even feel it baby." Ian pushed his hand into Mickey's hair, smiling. "I'll let you know if you do."

Taking Ian at his word, Mickey stood and moved around the supplies on the floor until he was close enough to grip the band of Ian's boxers. "Can you lift?"

Ian lifted and the boxers came off quickly. He heard Mickey curse under his breath the second he could see how hard he was. Ian didn't comment, he just smiled a little when wide blue eyes found his. 

"Guess the meds didn't fuck with all of you." Mickey shook his head as he moved to the bucket of water. He soaked the rag, rung it out and started at Ian's good arm. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

In their past, it had always been Ian taking care of Mickey. Always. At least in that small way that Mickey allowed. It was odd to be on the receiving end. Not because he thought Mickey didn't have a sensitive caring side, but because this was his first time seeing it. 

He saw it a little since he came back. The emotions, their feelings out in the open. But Mickey was literally taking care of him in the most basic way. Helping him when he couldn't help himself. 

"I'll like anything you do Mickey." Ian replied after a moment, turning his arm for him to wash the other side. 

With only a smile in reply, Mickey tried to keep his breathing even as he worked his way down his side. He wet the rag again, moving it gently over the bloody stitches until it came back red. 

Ian didn't react, he didn't hiss or ask him to stop. Mickey kissed Ian's palm the second he cupped his face again. "Doesn't seem so hard."

Ian chuckled darkly. Ruining the moment but Mickey's blush was worth it. "I beg to differ. Even with the soft touching, I still want you."

Blue eyes quickly moved to Ian's hips, it had him biting his lip before he looked away and wet the rag again before he moved down Ian's right leg. "Shut up."

"I'm just sayin Mick, now I just want it nice and slow." Ian closed his eyes as the rag moved down, nearly pushing into the side of his cock. "How about that?"

"No." Mickey said again, moving over Ian's foot, tickling him enough to piss him off before he moved to the end of the bed to his other foot. "No sex of any kind."

The more skin Mickey covered, the harder it made him. His hands were rough from work, sliding up his body. Ian was positively panting when once again Mickey moved the rag close to his cock, but ultimately went around. 

"You're a tease." Ian groaned a little when Mickey sat on the other side of the bed to get his left side. "You're gonna have to touch it."

Mickey scowled as he blushed. "Shut up, don't be an asshole."

"Might have to clean that too." Ian smirked and tilted a little so Mickey got a face full of ass. "You like my ass, right?"

"I'm warning you." Mickey kept his hands busy, cleaning him instead of touching like he wanted to. 

His only response was to wiggle his ass again. This time, Mickey slapped it hard enough for him to actually feel it. Heat washed over his face, goosebumps appeared around his cast and he watched his cock jump. 

"Fuuuck." Ian moaned, moving back into his normal position and watched Mickey watch him. "That's new."

"And you liked it." Mickey said a little surprised. Nodding at Ian's cock as it dripped onto his hip. "Goddamn Gallagher."

"Hurry up," Ian put his hand on top of Mickey's and helped him wash the rest of that arm, then down his chest. "You said after and I want this done so we can get to after."

Mickey licked his lips, moving his hand down to wash over Ian's abs, then his hips. Ian's grip tightened and jerked his hand down quickly until the rag wrapped around the head of Ian's cock. 

"Oh fuck," Ian bucked his hips, grinding against it as much as his position would allow. "Yeah, keep doing that baby."

Face flushed red, Mickey jerked the towel away, mindful not to hit Ian's cast. "Jesus fuck, will you stop?" He hissed but it sounded a little like a whine. "Just let me finish."

Ian moved Mickey's hand back down, smirking as he let him until the soft rag rubbed him again. "Let me finish." He countered back with a groan. "You see how hard I am for you?"

Mickey swallowed thickly, but nodded. "Trust me, you're not much harder than I am." 

Glancing down, Ian could see him hard in his boxers, wet at the front as he stretched the material. "I want it."

"Ian." Mickey whined, taking his hand back. "Turn a little so I can get your back first."

That got Ian to turn instantly. The rag moved down his shoulders, then the length of his spine. Ian didn't groan until he felt Mickey's lips against his neck, leaving hot, wet kisses. 

"God, that's good." Ian groaned deeply, pushing against his lips. "I need you."

Mickey sucked on his ear just so Ian gasped deeply again. "Roll over." 

"On my lap." Ian growled as he rolled over, trying to pull Mickey against him. "I want to feel you on me."

Mickey wanted to, he really did. But he just couldn't. Not with Ian's arm in a cast and his side covered in stitches. "No, not like that." He moved down, then tapped Ian's thigh. "Spread your legs."

Ian's hand shot down to grip his cock before he came all over the place. "Remind me again why I don't bottom?" He asked as he spread his legs and caught Mickey smirking at him. "Jesus fuck."

"Just say the word." Mickey replied smugly, only half teasing. He wiggled between Ian's split legs, running his hands down them, then up his thighs as Ian squirmed. "I love your legs."

"Shit." Ian whispered. It was incredibly embarrassing how close he was already. "Finally admitting your leg kink baby?" He smirked.

"I don't have a general leg kink," Mickey licked the corner of his mouth as he looked at them. "I think mine is more geared towards yours only."

"Mine only is good." Ian could see how hard Mickey was, especially like this with his thighs spread, his cock pushing against the material. "We jerkin off together?"

Mickey nodded, releasing Ian's thighs long enough to slip his boxers off. "Less movement for you like this. Plus it'll be easier for me to take over if you need it."

God, he was about to jerk off to Mickey between his legs. That particular fantasy only graced his mind once or twice every few years; him bottoming, but it had never been enough for him to actually want it. Unlike now. It must have been his position and the imagery lining up perfectly because he wanted it. 

"I won't last baby." Ian warned. He glanced over and snatched the lube off the side table from the other night. "I'm already having a hard time keepin it together."

"You and me both." Mickey said. He gripped himself, stroking steadily, then grabbed Ian and stroked them together. "Fuck, it's already good."

Ian felt a little prickle of pain the second his back arched when Mickey gripped them. The stitches pulled, but the pain retreated once he settled, opting to shift his hips instead of using his back. 

"I like it like this." Ian put his hand on top of Mickeys, leaving the lube on his chest, as he helped stroke them. "I like seeing you like this too."

Mickey smirked because he liked it just as much. "Something to keep in mind for later, yeah?"

Nodding fast, Ian gripped the bottle of lube again, top open as he tipped it down until a quarter size amount dropped against them. Mickey was there to spread it, fisting them both. 

"God." Ian hissed. Flexing his hips as the added wetness brought that pleasure meter up to an 11. "Yeah, fuck. I'm not gonna last long at all."

When Mickey's teeth ground together, he released them, taking a deep, even breath. "Too quick like that. Do you, I'll do me and I'll do it again at the end."

It took him more than a moment to begin. Ian was too busy watching Mickey do it. The way tattooed knuckles looked all slippery as he moved quickly, his thumb catching the ridge just before he brushed the head; each time it had Mickey's eyes fluttering. 

He was so fucking sexy Ian didn't know what to do. 

"You gonna do it?" Mickey asked, winded as he opened his eyes. "Or just watch me?"

"I could come just from watching." Ian nodded to his cock. They both glanced down, see it pulse rapidly as pre-come leaked out. "I've ever seen you like this baby. It's just so fucking sexy."

"Wish you had your other hand free," Mickey said as he blushed from his own words. "Then you'd be able to finger me while we do it."

"Oh fuck," Ian had to close his eyes before he came on the spot. 

Although he didn't see him, he could hear his every move. The deep sounds of the growl stuck in his throat; like it was too shy to come play. The wet sound of his hand moving quickly, his harsh breathing. It was just enough to drive him mad if he didn't look. 

"Jesus Mickey," Ian did his best to shake off his reaction to those words and finally gripped himself again, resuming. "You wanna do it for me?"

Now it was Mickey's turn to close his eyes, his head dropping back as he breathed in slowly. "You want me to?"

Yes, fuck yes." Ian growled and lifted his hips to rock into his fist. "I wanna see you spread out so I can watch. I want you to sit on my fucking chest so I can get as close as possible."

"If I'm gonna do it, it's gotta be now." Mickey switched hands, leaving his left on his cock so he could use his right one to move it back. "That shit is gonna make me come."

Ian tilted his head, wanting so badly to see it. But he settled on watching Mickey. Watching everything. He could tell the moment wet fingers brushed against his hole. Mickey's entire body moved forward, siding into his slick fist, then grinded back against his fingers.

Scorching heat worked its way down his body, pooling in his gut for when it was time. "Tell me how it feels." Ian begged, panting so hard his voice was shot. 

"Feels fucking good." Mickey whined, sweating as he moved back and forth. "Your fingers are longer. They get in deep and I can't."

"Fuck, fuck." Ian worked his hand faster. "Keep going, I wanna see you come this way. Because I feel it Mick. You got me so fucking close."

"Me too." Mickey bit out, moving so he could stroke them both again. "Ian…"

"I can't…" Ian whined, legs splitting wider. His free hand now moved to his balls, pulling them just enough to get him there. "Shit, shit...I'm gonna come."

Mickey nodded, eyes rolled back. "I'm coming, oh fuck." He rocked down hard as he came all over them, soaking his hand and Ian's cock. His body shaking out of control.

"Yesss!" Ian came as well, he couldn't help it after seeing that. After feeling Mickey's come be what lubed him up enough to make it there. "Shit, oh shit."

Mickey's hand slowed, his fingers slipped free of his body and gripped Ian's thigh so he didn't free fall on top of him. "Goddamn Gallagher."

They both chuckled at the familiar line.

"Yeah, I agree." Ian licked his lips and stretched his legs when Mickey moved and flopped down beside him. "Kiss me because I can't move."

Rolling his eyes, Mickey sat up, making sure not to hit his arm and kissed him until they couldn't breathe. "So much for that bath, huh?"

Their bodies and their sheets were splattered in come and sweat. Ian's bath was kind of moot at this point because he would need to clean up again. 

"Wanna help me up?" Ian tried to move but his legs wouldn't cooperate. "We can clean up and change the sheets."

Mickey got off the bed and moved around to help him stand. He grabbed the rag, soaked it into lukewarm water and quickly cleaned them up. "Let me grab the sheets."

While Mickey did that, Ian worked the dirty ones off the corners of the bed, but left the pillow cases. He had them in a pile on the floor when Mickey returned with a clean set. 

With shared smiles and flushed cheeks, they worked silently to put them on. Mickey was done with his side first, Ian having to take extra time because he was only one handed. Mickey busied himself with dumping the bucket of water and got more bandages for his side. 

"Boxers first." Mickey pulled on a clean pair and wiggled one at Ian. "I'm already betting you're gonna pay for that shit tomorrow."

Ian let Mickey help him into them as he smiled. "Yeah, probably. But it was worth it." He kissed Mickey's lips before he sat down. "Bandage me up nurse Mickey. Then back to bed."

Mickey glanced at the clock that read a little after midnight, then taped the clean bandages to Ian's side. "Yeah, still gotta get up for class tomorrow."

Ian climbed back into bed and tossed the clean blankets over his legs. Mickey took a seat next to him instead of crawling in beside him. "I better heal quick. I don't do too well with doing nothing."

Mickey smiled. "Yeah, I know. But too much shit will only slow it down. You need to sleep, eat whatever shit Mandy can cook up, hope that doesn't kill you, then sleep some more."

"I can't do any of those things." Ian laughed. "Mandy still can't cook and sleeping too much is bad anyway. I need to move around and walk or something."

Mickey was about to tell him he didn't have a choice, when his phone rang. He narrowed his eyes and moved to grab it from his jeans. 

"Who is it?" Ian asked curiously. "It's late."

"It's Mandy." Mickey showed Ian the phone, seeing Mandy's picture. "That can't be good." He accepted the call and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

Ian kept quiet, choosing to watch Mickey's facial expressions instead. It went from curious, to worried, to angry and he hadn't even spoken a word. 

"The fuck did she bring him to you for?" Mickey barked. "How the hell did she even know you were back?"

She and him. Ian could only assume Mickey meant Svetlana and his son, Yev. They were with Mandy?

"I wasn't supposed to have him until tomorrow night."

Without knowing what else to do, Ian offered Mickey his hand. It took him a second, blue eyes harsh until he looked at it and smiled, then surrendered his own hand. Ian squeezed. 

"Just bring him here then." Mickey gave a tired sigh. "Hurry the fuck up." Then he hung up the phone.

"Everything okay?" Ian asked softly, not at all sure if he had the right to just ask. 

Mickey shook his head. "No. Svet was supposed to have Yev tonight but she got called into work and dropped him at Mandy's."

Ian's inner self, his younger self, the him that was still 18, hated hearing her name. He just fucking hated it. Whore would be more fitting. Slut even. Commie bitch was Mickey's favorite one. Anything besides her name. 

But, he was an adult. And it wasn't Mickey's fault, any of it. Not how she was brought into their lives or why he now had a son. Or Svetlana dropping him off with Mandy. Mickey had no control of that. 

"Is she bringing him over?" Ian asked, his voice sounding smaller than the baby probably was. 

Mickey noticed Ian's distance and squeezed his hand. "Mandy has no idea how to look after a baby. Svet didn't tell her what to do or give her the right shit. So she's crying and bringing him home."

His heart released enough of that hatred to feel sadness for Mandy. She never had to take care of a baby before, at least that he knew. She wouldn't he equipped to handle him now, after midnight and with no supplies or knowledge. 

But Mickey could.

"Maybe I should go?" Ian offered as he sat up straighter, unable to meet Mickey's eyes. "I can stay with Mandy."

"You don't have to do that Ian." Mickey assured him. "I don't want you to leave."

"No?" Ian asked, his voice soft. 

"Of course not. I want you to meet him." Mickey's heart thumped loudly when Ian smiled a little. "And if we are gonna make this work, you two will see a lot of each other. Don't ya think?"

"I hope so." Ian said with genuine warmth. "I just don't want to mess it up."

"There isn't anything you can mess up." Mickey promised with a chuckle. "He's not 12 and impressionable. He's 13 months old. All you have to do is read all those squishy books he gives you and make sure he doesn't run into the coffee table."

Ian snorted so hard he actually felt his side injury. He winced but laughed all the same. "It's been a few years since Liam was that little, but I'm sure I'll remember." Mickey's eyes seemed to glow at that answer. "What I meant was shit with…" He clenched his teeth, not wanting to say it. "With Svetlana. I don't want to cause a problem."

"Ian, you are not a fucking problem. Not from day one or now. And just because I have a kid now, doesn't mean you're gonna cause any problems."

Ian was mildly relaxed by Mickey's words, even his harsher tone. 

Mickey sighed. "Look, if I had it my way, if I didn't have to explain it to him later on, I'd be tempted to call immigration on her ass. That's how much I don't want her here."

If it was dumb to be jealous over your boyfriends baby mama, then he was. Even if it was stupid. Even when Mickey was 100% gay. All dick. Mickey would never be with her on purpose, he'd never have a kid with her on purpose. But Ian still hated it. 

"But, I know..shit, we both know how shitty it is to grow up without a mom," Mickey continued. "I don't want him to hate me later on if I cut her out now."

Ian nodded because that's what made Mickey a good parent. Thinking of what his child wants and needs over his own, over his discomfort and hate towards her. 

"At least not unless she gives me a good fucking reason." Mickey finished, a little irritated just talking about her. "So no, you won't mess it up. You'll only make it better and I want that."

Ian narrowed his eyes. "Want what?"

"You and Yev." Mickey answered with no hesitation. "Together. I don't have to pick which I want more. I get to have both."

"Fuck." Ian gasped and pulled Mickey to him by a firm grip on his neck. The kiss was hot, heated and needed. Saying thank you over and over again as long as the kiss didn't end. "I love you so fucking much, you don't even know."

Mickey chuckled as he moved back. "I have some idea."

There was a loud knock on the door. Ian tensed on impact, eyes wide. Hands shaky. He was just as excited as he was afraid. Mickey just smiled because he knew the feeling, he felt that for nearly three months after Yev was born. 

"It'll be okay." Mickey said as he stood. He bent forward to kiss his forehead. "Let me go get him." He snagged a shirt on his way out. 

Ian managed to find his own shirt, half hanging off the night stand but realized he couldn't put it on without help and tossed it aside, irritated. 

From the other room, Ian could hear the door opening as well as Mandy's hysterical crying. He couldn't even make out what she said because she was crying so hard. But he could hear Mickey telling her to calm down, sounds of a baby jabbering as if their conversation was just so interesting. 

Ian smiled because it all felt odd, but normal. Or it was supposed to be normal. For him, it would take some getting used to. Having a baby around again, one that he'd be around very much if Mickey was as confident as he seemed. 

It was a whole new world here and Ian was so grateful Mickey wanted him it. 

A few seconds later, the door closed, Mandy's crying was gone and Ian could hear Mickey talking softly. None of that annoying baby talk most parents did, Mickey spoke to Yev as if he were an adult, cursing and sarcastic tones and everything. 

"Don't say fuck." Mickey mumbled around a laugh. "That's bad."

Ian smiled when a soft little 'bad' was the only reply. Mickey wouldn't be himself if he gave up cursing. Even if it was better for Yev not to repeat it, it wouldn't be him. 

"Wanna meet daddy's friend?" Mickey asked as he stepped in the doorway. 

Ian stopped breathing as he looked at them. Mickey was a vision, smiling, happy and so proud Ian could see it coming off him in waves. On his chest was Yev, wild blond hair curling around Mickey's neck, one chubby hand hooked on the collar of Mickey's shirt, the other holding a faded blue blanket. 

All those hateful thoughts he had vanished in an instant. Leaving only guilt and regret inside of him. Yev was perfect. The spitting image of his dad, even the blond hair which Ian knew both Mickey and Mandy had as children. But the eyes...the eyes is what sealed the deal. 

Stormy blue. Mickey's eyes. And Ian was instantly in love. 

"You okay?" Mickey asked as he moved in closer. 

Ian nodded, his eyes a little teary. 

"You sure?" Mickey asked again when Ian didn't speak. 

Tears fell without him realizing it until he wiped his face, making Mickey's smile dim and brighten all within the same amount of time. "He's so beautiful."

Yev sat up, blinking sleepily. Mickey looked down, smiling. "Say hi buddy."

Ian sat up, straining his ears just to hear it. Instead, Yev decided he wanted to wave that chubby hand as a hello and Ian wanted to cry more. "Hi Yev, I'm Ian."

Mickey sat down, moving Yev to his lap. Yev leaned against him, head resting against his arm. 

"Ian." Yev whispered just before he yawned and rubbed his eyes. 

"Shit." Ian whispered and covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Not because Yev might say it back, but because he was worried he'd start sobbing. "Mick."

"I know." Mickey offered Ian his hand which he took. "I know it's a lot right now. But we have time."

Ian nodded, crying even as he smiled. "It is a lot, but I already love it."

"I love you." Mickey said as he leaned down, holding Yev close to his chest so he didn't fall as he kissed Ian's smiling lips. "And I'm so happy you came back."

"I love you too baby." Ian returned the sentiment easily with another soft kiss. "And as long as you love me, I'll always be here."

"Daddy." Yev squealed, a chubby hand on either of their faces, squishing them. 

Mickey and Ian let out one of those watery laughs. The ones you can't be sure what your true emotion is when the other takes over. Maybe they were so happy they were crying or maybe they were so scared it turned into laughter.

"Being a dad looks good on you Mick." Ian said before he turned quickly, making kissy noises at Yev's hand which only made the squealing louder. 

Mickey laughed, beyond happy to have them together. "It feels good too. More than I thought it would. But I do think I need to work on my dad bod."

"Don't rush it," Ian paused to kiss at Yev's hand again until they all laughed. "It'll come on its own time."

When Yev yawned again, they pulled back and Mickey glanced at the clock. "Gonna put him to bed. Mandy will be back in the morning."

Ian nodded, offering his hand when Yev's little one flapped wildly in the air for it. "Does he get to stay tomorrow?"

Mickey shook his head. "Since Mandy has no clue about babies and you're hurt, it's not a good idea." He relaxed Ian nodded, instead of taking offense. "If you weren't hurt it would be different."

"I understand baby. I can hardly move." Ian chuckled, making Yev smile. "And like you said, all we have is time."

"Speaking of time," Mickey said as he glanced down at Yev, one hand in the air as he wiggled. "It's bed time!" He dropped his hand and tickled his belly, making his legs kick wildly as he giggled. "Come on monkey."

Not even Mickey blurting 'I'm fuckin gay' in an entire bar full of Terry's fag bashing friends surprised him more than what Ian just watched. Being gay wasn't a choice, but being a father, a good father, was a choice. Mickey chose to be a good dad, he wanted it because Terry was awful at it and he wanted his son to be as happy and healthy as possible. 

Mickey was happy and smiling, tickling a wiggling clone of himself, making him smile and laugh. He made good choices for his son, choosing not to drink in the house and who watched him and when. 

Ian knew without a doubt that Mickey would always be an amazing dad. But it was one thing to believe it, and another thing to see it. It filled him with immense happiness and love. 

"Night Yev." Ian held his hand up, his heart clenching when his little one slapped it happily. 

"Be back soon, unless he fights me again." Mickey gave Yev a total dad look as he stood. Yev only smiled. "Then it's war and it might be a minute."

With that same teary smile, Ian laid back down, pulling the blanket with him as he watched them. "I'll be here."

As soon as Mickey stepped into the hallway, Ian could hear the sound of running feet and a horrible impression of an airplane. And considering Yev was in Mickey's arms, that meant it was Mickey running, probably helping Yev pretend to be that airplane all the way to his room. Giggling could be heard from miles away and Ian wished he was up and around to be an airplane too. 

It took him a second to think about what Mickey said about Yev tomorrow. About him not being there. Either Mickey would take him to Svetlana's on his way to class, or she would come to the house to get him. 

Ian did not want to see her. Ever again. Which was unrealistic. When he came back, he knew she might be in the picture, especially since her and Mickey share a kid, but now since he and Mickey were working things out, Ian would have to see her. 

Picking up Yev, or dropping him off. Ian would have to be nice, he'd have to act like shit was fine because he didn't want to make waves with Mickey or Yev. It wasn't like normal, she couldn't yank Mickey's custody away because she didn't like him, but it would cause a problem.

"Fuck." Ian closed his eyes as his head pounded. 

"You okay?"

Ian opened his eyes to see Mickey standing at the door, arms crossed over his chest, not aggressive, but comfortable. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Liar." Mickey snorted and clicked off the light as he worked his way passed their clothes on the ground and over to the bed. "You're worried about tomorrow, right?"

Narrowing his eyes, Ian turned to look at him. "Mind reader now?"

"Nope. But you never asked how Yev was leaving. Figured you would have but then I knew you'd be in here freakin out."

There was no use in lying. "Yeah, a little. I don't want to see her. I don't even want to hear her voice."

Mickey turned to lay on his side, his hand carefully moving across Ian's stomach. "If I could avoid her all together, I would in an instant. But I can't. You don't have to deal with her like that."

"I do though." Ian moved his hand down to caress Mickey's thigh, trying to keep them both in the same mood, even as they talked about a dark topic. "If we are going to be together, I'll have to. Or when I'm with Yev too, then I will."

"You might a little bit." Mickey agreed. "But you never have to talk to her if you don't want to. It's not like it was before Ian. You don't have to fight for my attention."

That's what he was worried about. Not Mickey's attention from Yev but from Svetlana. In the past, she made Mickey choose and used his son and his secret of being gay as a weapon. But it was different now. 

"She doesn't have shit on me to make demands like that." Mickey sighed and turned to lay on his back and look at the ceiling. "She can't threaten me any more."

"I know." Ian turned as much as he could, laying on Mickey's shoulder. "I just hate that she's around at all."

Mickey kissed Ian's forehead, letting his lips linger even after the kiss. "I'm not going to defend her, especially because of what she did." He paused when those awful memories came back for both of them. "And she is still a bitch to me, she will be to you, but she's a good mom."

Ian shut his eyes because he didn't want to hear it. It was good that Yev had good parents, a good mom. She worked, took care of him, loved him. But Ian really wished she wasn't that person. That it was someone else. 

"If she wasn't, you'd know I'd drop her." Mickey kissed him again. "But I can't take away someone who loves him, who is good to him."

It hurt how much Mickey was trying to make him believe him. Trying to assure him that he still hated her, even if she was a good mom. Mickey shouldn't have to try that hard. 

"Baby," Ian tilted his head up so he could see his eyes. "I'd never ask you to do that, even with how much I hate her."

Mickey let out a deep, shaky breath. 

"I trust you, and if she's good to him then I can't really be that mad." Ian wanted to vomit at his own words, even if they were true. "But I still fucking hate her."

With a tired laugh, Mickey pulled the blankets up to their chests, moved his arm around Ian's shoulders so he was against his side and settled back. "I'd be mad if you didn't hate her. And I'm not asking you to pretend to like her either. God knows I don't."

At that, Ian settled, his entire body calming at his words. "Good, because I'm still angry."

"I am too." Mickey said softly, his thumb moving over the skin above Ian's cast. "But you're back, I have you and Yev, I don't want to spend my time being angry. I don't want to miss anything."

The big reason why Ian was angry, aside from the obvious, is because he never dealt with what happened. It was so bad, so life altering, that he ran away from it. He locked it in the deepest parts of his mind, buried. 

Mickey had to deal with it because he was forced to. It was his life. He didn't run or hide it all away, Mickey had to live it everyday. He had to see her and Terry. He had to deal with the fact that he had a baby coming and what that meant. 

He was at the point where he loved life more than he hated her. He loved Yev more than he hated Terry. Mickey wanted to enjoy the life he built for himself, he wanted to love and smile and just be happy. 

Ian wasn't sure if he could do that without help. Or time. Shit like that didn't just go away or get better, you had to work for it. 

"You're thinkin too loud again." Mickey whispered into his hair. 

Ian kissed Mickey's chest. "Was just thinking."

"About what?" Mickey asked as he yawned.

"With the army comes insurance," Ian tried to explain in the best way. "Was thinkin I might find someone. Talk about all that shit with."

Mickey's eyes widened. "The shit I think you're thinkin of?"

Ian nodded, moving closer to chase away the cold feeling he got from thinking about it all. "Yeah. Someone on the outside without an opinion either way. Maybe they could help me work it out so I'm not so mad anymore."

"I know I'm biased about this shit, but you can talk to me about it." Mickey offered. "I'm not sure if I'll do a good job or not but we can talk about it."

Ian smiled. "I want that too. I think it would help."

"And being mad is okay Ian. You have a fuckin right to be mad. So do I. And who knows, maybe a shrink will say the same shit." Mickey squeezed Ian, telling him it was okay. "Something to think about."

"Yeah, it is." Ian looked up, moving his casted arm up to Mickey's face, tilting him down as much as his arm would allow. "Now kiss me so we can get some sleep."

Mickey kissed him as he literally held Ian in his arms. One cupping his face, keeping the kiss going, even as it escalated into something deeper. The other hand held Ian's good side.

"I love you so fucking much." Mickey whispered as he pulled back, only to kiss him twice more. "Try and get some sleep."

Ian smiled, kept Mickey's fingers linked with his around the cast and settled back on his chest. "Love you too baby."

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning, I only mildly googled the army shit. Some is right, some won't be lol


End file.
